I’m nearly ready to bawl my eyes out from the memories and the regret when JT appears at the front door, looking like everything I love and can’t live without.
He peers around for a familiar face, and when his eyes lock on mine, I nearly burst out laughing—half in relief, half in exhaustion. Before he even has a chance to clear the doorway, I’m on my feet and heading his way. Throwing my arms around his neck is awkward because he’s holding a paper grocery sack in his hands, but I manage it anyway.
JT shifts the bag into the crook of one arm and uses the other to wrap around my waist, burying his face into my hair.
“Hey, beautiful,” he murmurs, just loud enough for me to hear. Then he laughs. “This is exactly the kind of hello I is hoping for when I walked in here.”
I press my face into his chest and grin. The room and everyone in it disappears into the background, and I let that wonderfully isolated sensation take hold, even as tears threaten to spill over. If I’m not careful, I’m going to lose it entirely, so I take a deep breath and try to pull away. But JT just tightens his hold on me.
“Ah-ha! G.I. Joe is finally here!” Tara shouts from behind me.
She bounds across the room toward us and grabs the grocery bag out of JT’s hands without so much as a please, but JT gives it up easily. He uses his newly freed hand to sweep his fingers across my cheek, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear. Then he kisses my forehead gently.
Tara peers in the bag and then rummages through it.
“Well, it seems that you’re capable of taking direction, so that’s a good thing. Excellent choice on the milk stout brew, I heartily approve.” Tara sets the six-pack on the floor and then wrestles out a paper box from inside the bag. She flips open the lid and scowls. When I realize what it is that she’s horrified by, I start to laugh.
“Is this one of those onion-blossom things?” Tara asks, giving me a sidelong look. “Are you sure about this guy? Because this isn’t a good sign, if you ask me.”
“It’s a thing.” I say, my eyes cutting to JT. “And, yes, I’m sure about him.”
“There’s also a pan of my mom’s mac and cheese in there,” JT says. “That’s why I’m late. I wanted to make sure it was heated through before I came over.”
Tara’s eyes light up. She gives JT a curt nod, gathers up all of what he brought with him and turns on a heel to leave. Pausing, she glances over her shoulder at me. “Are you good here?”
I nod and watch as a smile creeps across my friend’s face. Tara mock-salutes us and heads for the kitchen.
JT tips his head toward my ear. “Can we go talk somewhere?”
I answer him by taking his hand and dragging us out the front door, quickstepping down the porch steps and over to where JT’s vehicle parked. He unlocks one of the rear doors and we both crawl in. The moment the door shuts behind us, I’m in his lap with my mouth on his. JT falls straight into my kiss, taking over by wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer. Before long, his hands are under my dress and I’m moving my hips over him in a way that we both seem to need. Then JT’s hands suddenly disappear and he’s wrenching his mouth from mine. I pull back, dazed and disappointed.
“Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Fuck,” he breathes. We’re both wild-eyed and panting. “We can’t do this right now. We have to talk first.”
I close my eyes and take a long, deep breath. He’s right that we need to talk, I just need my body to catch up with the logic of that. Once I’m there, I open my eyes and JT takes my face in his hands.
“Just so we’re clear, I’m here for one reason. Because I love you.”
My face crumples, even as I’m nodding and blubbering my own sappy, garbled declaration back. JT apparently understands the nonsense coming out of my mouth because his arms wrap around me again, holding me as close as is humanly possible.
Finally, JT releases me and wipes the tears from my face. “Tell me what changed. I need to know.”
“Nothing changed,” I say, shaking my head. “I just realized that I couldn’t let you go. I decided to let myself love you, that’s all.”
He closes his eyes for a beat and his shoulders sag in relief. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear you say that. Because I’m ready for more with you, I just need to know that you’re are too.”
“I’m ready. For you, for us. All of it.” I run my hands over his hair, just to touch him again. “I’m moving out to the Fenton Ranch next week and I’ll be there for a year. It’ll be a bit of a commute back into town, but I figure I can spend weekends with you. Or you can come out to the ranch sometimes. Whatever. I don’t care. I just want us, however it works best.”
JT grins, then kisses me, and I simply let him. From now on, all I want to do is stop getting in the way of our happiness, and that means I have to accept his love with all of my heart, and then give it back to him twofold. We smile and kiss, hug and hold each other until it feels like we can breathe again from knowing we’re both not going anywhere, then JT leans back and raises his brows at me.
“I almost forgot, I have a gift for you.” He pats my ass. “Lift up so I can get it out. I don’t know how I forgot it was in here. Damn thing’s been poking me this whole time. Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”
I roll my eyes even as I close them. “Oh man, if I had a dollar for every time some guy said that to me. The weird thing is, it’s always the same thing they want to give me. So if your gift is what I think it is, we should probably go somewhere else. I’m guessing an indecent exposure charge won’t look good for you at the office.”
JT snorts as he reaches into his back pocket. “That is the gift that keeps on giving, and you’re not getting that one until later. This is to celebrate the Fenton.”
I feel him place something in my hand. When I open my eyes and look down, I see a beautiful kolinsky sable brush, with a big red bow tied around the ferrule. My eyes move from the brush to JT’s face.
“JT,” I say warily. “This is too much. These brushes are too expensive. You’ve worked so hard trying to get out of debt and then you go buy me this. I can’t—”
He cuts me off by tugging me close, tipping our foreheads together.
“You can. I’ve got this covered. You don’t need to worry about that. I wouldn’t do anything to put myself back in a position where I’m broke again. Even for you.”
“But you don’t have to buy me things. There’s no price tag on me loving you. What matters more than money, or things, or stuff—is you. You’re enough, without anything else.”
“Then promise me you’ll remember that every time you use this brush,” he says. “And that when you’re done, you’ll always crawl into bed next to me so I can wake up beside you. That’s what matters to me. Knowing that something I gave you helps you be who you are. That’s your gift to me. One I’ll never get tired of opening.”
I take his face in my hands and drop a slow kiss to his lips, drawing it out for as long as I can. Because if I’m lucky, I’ll always remember how I felt in this moment.
Deserving.