4
Cole
All night, all I could think about was Hope. She’s the one bright spot of the last year. Fuck, my whole life. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. She’s smart, beautiful, and fun. After only one night, I can see having a future with her. And that’s saying a lot considering the last year I’ve barely been able to think about anything except my past.
After making out with her in the bed of my truck for an hour, I knew I had to get her home. She had the blood rushing through my veins, and it was either take her home or take her in the back of my truck. And I know she deserves better. Fuck, she deserves better than anything I could give her.
When I dropped her off at her car at the bar, I followed her to her house to make sure she made it home okay. She seemed shocked when I asked her if it was okay for me to follow her, but I couldn’t help it. There’s something about her. I needed to know she made it home safe. I parked at the end of the driveway she pulled into. Her parents’ house is huge and in a high dollar neighborhood. Yet another reason I shouldn’t be with her. I scoff at myself. I just met the girl, I shouldn’t even be thinking about a future with us together. I didn’t want to pull in and wake up her parents. She’d barely stopped before she was jumping out of the car and racing toward my truck. She was smiling the whole way, and I swear it was like she was afraid I was going to drive off before I talked to her.
I put the truck into park and hopped out, walking around to meet her.
“So tomorrow? You’ll pick me up here for our date?”
I looked uneasily up at the open gate for her driveway, the expansive lawn, and the I’ll never be able to afford anything like it house. I knew I should call it quits now, before this all gets out of hand. But when I looked down into her face, I caught myself nodding and reaching for her. “Tomorrow. I’ll pick you up here at five.”
I kissed her again, briefly this time, because I was still smoldering from our kiss at the open field and then at the bar when I took her to her car.
I stood there and watched her walk all the way into her house before my feet would finally budge.
“What? You giving up already?” my friend Patton asks as he walks by me.
I shake my head as if I’ve been in a trance. I look around the gym as a man drops a weight in the corner and then back to Patton. “No, I’m not giving up. Fuck, man, if I was going to give up, I’d have done that a long time ago.”
Patton looks at me strangely. “What’s going on with you?”
I knew Patton would figure there’s something going on. He’s the closest thing I have to a brother, and he knows me better than anyone. And if there’s even a slight change in my demeanor, he’s going to notice it. I have no doubt.
And there’s no way that meeting Hope hasn’t changed me. Hell, it’s turned my world upside down. She’s got me wanting things that I never dreamed possible.
I shrug my shoulders. “I met a woman last night.”
He smiles and sets down the dumbbells he was about to raise over his head. He sits on the bench next to me. “Who is she?”
“The guys dragged me out last night to a bar. She’s the bartender.”
“Did you get her number?” he asks.
I shrug, thinking back. Hell, I didn’t even get her number. “No, but I’m taking her out again tonight.”
“Again? Did you go out with her last night?” His eyes are wide open staring back at me. I know he’s probably as surprised as I am.
I stand up and start to curl the twenty-five-pound weights in my hands. “Yeah, we grabbed something to eat and then I took her to the point.”
“That’s awesome, Prince. I can’t wait to meet her.” He grunts as he picks up the weights he set down and starts lifting them again.
We lift in silence for a while, and only the sound of a few grunts from the other men in the room and of feet pounding on a treadmill fill the space. I can’t help but think about Hope. She’s already taken over every thought I’ve had, but I’m still unsettled about it. Am I ready to get into a relationship? Especially when I’ve thought all this time that there’s no one that would want me. My physical injuries have been fixed. The five surgeries that I’ve had on my legs, arm, and face are behind me. I can finally walk without a limp thanks to the almost year of therapy that I’ve had. And even though I’ll always have the scars, I know they don’t even compare to the scars on the inside. I lost a good friend, a brother that last day overseas. We were setting up a perimeter and were at the wrong place at the wrong time. The bomb that went off took Jason’s life, took both legs from Jeremy, and of the three of us, I was the least injured. Yeah, I have scars that I’ll have to look at every day, but I’m still alive and still have all my body parts. I won’t lie and say that there is not a little bit of me that feels guilty for that. In the last year, I’ve had every emotion. At one point, I even wished it was me that died that day. Jason had a wife and two daughters. He should have been the one to live. And Jeremy is one of the best guys I know. He was the leader to us all, always keeping us together and united. But he’s struggling now. Still trying to navigate this new life. A part of me wonders how I can be so happy when my friends have lost so much.
“Have you talked to Jeremy lately?” Patton asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“No. Not in a few weeks. I need to call him,” I tell him.
“Don’t bother. He won’t answer his phone. I talked to Peggy yesterday and she says she doesn’t know what to do with him. He just lies in bed all day. She said it’s killing the kids to see him like that.”
Again, I can feel bile rising in my throat. I should be helping Jeremy and being there for him. Instead, I’m going crazy over some girl.
We finish working out, and I no sooner get into my car than I pick up the phone and dial Jeremy’s number. After three rings, it goes to voicemail.
I hang up and dial Peggy’s number. She answers on the second ring. “Cole?” she asks. And I swear I can hear the relief in her voice.
“Hey, honey, I tried calling Jeremy but he’s not answering. Y’all doing okay?” As soon as the words are out, I hold my breath. I can feel it in my gut that something is really wrong.
She lets out a soft sigh, and her voice is filled with emotion. “No, we’re not. I’m sorry, Cole. He told me not to call you all, but I don’t know what to do. He’s telling me to leave him and take the kids with me. He’s still in therapy, but he thinks he’s useless to us now and we’re better off without him.” She starts to cry, and I can hear her sniffle on the phone.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to come over, okay?”
“No, it’s fine. There’s no talking to him when he’s like this. Plus, we’re over an hour away. I don’t want you wasting your time.”
“It’s not wasting my time. I owe Jeremy. He always looked out for me. For all of us. I’m going to go home and shower, make one stop, and then I’ll be on my way.”
I know how desperate she is when she doesn’t try to refuse me again. She sniffs one more time. “Okay. Thanks, Cole.”