I looked at her quizzically and moved myself away from the wall as I straightened up, mentally preparing myself for what she was going to say next. This wasn’t the way this argument normally went.
‘I want you to take a wife.’
‘I’m not getting married.’ I said the words gently, but shook my head at her hoping she’d get the message.
‘Your mamma always used to say that you were going to be a man who needed a wife.’
‘So you’ve said before.’ I tried not to show how her words were stirring up the hurt inside me.
‘Help me keep my promise to her, Nico. Find a wife and make your home here, away from Vegas, and raise a family with her. Money and business are one thing, family and blood ties are another.’
‘I don’t need a woman in my life, Nonna.’
‘How can you say that?’ She opened hers arms wide as she pleaded with me.
I crossed the floor in between us and taking hold of her elbow, I gently steered her towards the large couch that was positioned near to the window and guided her to sit down next to me. Then I turned my body to face hers.
‘This branch of our family, Nonna… It needs to end with me. I’m too much like him to dare to breed another generation.’
‘Don’t you dare say that, you’re nothing like him.’
She may have been petite, but the anger that ran through her hot-blooded veins took hold of her temper. The slap I felt to my left cheek stung, even though her hand was only half the size of my cheek and the power behind it let me know how much she hated my statement.
‘You forget, I knew him even better than you did.’ Tears filled her eyes and the sudden pain I’d subjected her to was evident on her face. I felt myself grimace at once again causing her so much agony. ‘You and Cade are not your father; you are both nothing like the only child that God allowed me to keep.’
‘I wasn’t talking about Cade… only me.’
‘You’re wrong, Nico…So, so wrong about what you see in yourself.’
I could see the pain in her eyes, and still hear the disbelief in her voice that her only surviving child could grow up to be such a heartless, depraved bastard.
I had heard her tell the stories time after time of how she and my grandfather had struggled at first, in the country they had chosen to make their new home. The new country they had chosen in which to raise a large family. But God had never seen fit to let them have that large family, so instead they’d worked hard to make a better life for themselves and my father. My grandfather had worked so hard he’d risen in stature in the local area, making a name for himself, until eventually he’d been so prominent in New York that he’d decided to move the family business out to Vegas. The family had become mafia royalty in one of the main gambling cities of the U.S. and, until my father’s time, had held the respect of everyone around us.
My father had ruined every single belief I had about family life.
‘You deserve more, Nico. Promise me you’ll allow yourself to have more.’
‘I’ll think on it.’ I wasn’t going to do anything of the kind. But I wanted her to move in here and I also wanted the direction of the conversation changed, fast.
‘No, Nico… I want your promise here and now that you will find a wife who can love and care for you. Your mamma was right, God rest her soul. Do it for her, do it for me, but most of all do it for yourself and allow yourself to live.’ The hand that she’d only minutes before slapped me with, started to gently stroke my cheek that was still burning.
‘I…I don’t know.’
‘I cannot and will not rest until you swear on your mamma’s grave that you will look for a wife.’
My spine stiffened at what she was demanding.
‘Using her is uncalled for.’ I stood up quickly and moved to stand in front of the windows. I pushed my hands deep into the pockets of my pants and exhaled loudly. Using the calm of the sea in my vision, as it gently swayed backwards and forwards, I cleared the picture of my beautiful mamma hanging dead from the mezzanine level of her bedroom. Then imagining the noise of the waves crashing against the rocks below us, I tried to erase the screams of my younger brother as we’d tried to save her.
She’d taken her life to escape our father and all the depravity he had forced onto her and us. I sure as hell wouldn’t ever bring another woman or child into my life, not one I cared for or could love. I’d steered clear of those. I’d had many relationships with women, but the minute they’d declared they needed more from me than to accompany me out to functions or to spend the night in my bed, I’d deposited an amount of money into their bank account and sent them something diamond encrusted from Cartier’s and cast them aside.
‘I use whatever’s necessary, Nico. You need a wife. Your mamma wanted you and Cade to marry and to experience what life has to offer with a family around you. I’m here to look after you, now she can no longer do so. I’m here to do her bidding for her. Take a year, Nico, but find yourself a wife by the end of it… Now, I want you to swear to me on her grave, Nico.’
I wasn’t shocked at what she was asking. It was fairly common for a passionate, God-fearing Catholic woman, to ask you to swear on the grave of someone you loved, to get their way. But I could manipulate with the best of them and that included my grandmother. I wanted her agreement to move into the villa, so I agreed to her demands, knowing I would do her bidding on my terms only.
‘You’re a formidable adversary… I swear, on mamma’s grave, Nonna.’ I placed my hand on top of hers and smiled at her.
Chapter Two
Barbara (present day)
The porch door flexed on its spring, and banged itself shut behind me.
‘Pearl,’ I shouted out, trying to make myself loud enough to be heard above the radio that was constantly on twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week in her small condo.
I got it, seriously I did.
She was in her early seventies and retired. Having spent her whole life as a croupier in some of Las Vegas’s top casinos, fitting in falling in love and having a family just hadn’t happened. Looking after me and the sounds from her radio filled a void in her life. At thirty-three and with the way my life was going, I wondered if I would be in the exact same situation or even worse when I was her age.
‘I’m in here, Bee,’ she called out from the small second bedroom, which she had recently turned into her sewing room.
I walked through the kitchen, into the square hallway and peered around the door frame to find her. With her soft pink hair, which needed retouching at the roots, long false eyelashes and a garishly bright green, crushed velvet tracksuit, she would attract more than a passing glance from a stranger. But I was used to her strange dress sense and I could see past it all, to the warm-hearted woman inside.
‘What are you making?’ I smiled my question at her, taking in the small, floral patterned fabric she was measuring.
Her eyes found mine and then a guilty look shot over her features.
‘Now, don’t call me overbearing, but I just figured that it’s been a long time since the drapes in your home had been changed.’
I looked down at my hands, they were holding the glass dish that I’d come around to return. She had once again provided tonight’s dinner and tears pricked the back of my eyes.