My jaw drops—although admittedly, I’m also slightly turned on. Still, I act affronted. “You think I want to have sex with you now?”
“Yup,” he drawls. “And I wouldn’t be averse to you fighting me a little.”
“Bloody hell,” I mutter, turning my face away, but only so he can’t see the tiny smile I’m fighting off.
♦
“I think you should apologize to me,” Saint grunts. Actually, he punctuates each word in a growling way, timing it to his thrusts inside of me.
I. Think. You. Should. Apologize. To. Me.
With every word, he slams into me from behind. I’m powerless to do anything but take it.
Of course, I hadn’t said no to returning to his hotel room with him.
There was a lot of pushing and shoving as we kissed and cursed each other. Clothes had been ripped. Torn. Shed completely.
Eventually, I’d ended up on my stomach in the middle of the bed with my hands behind my back, pinned in place by Saint’s tight grip. He’d managed to lift my ass into the air, then drive in.
It’s like old times. We’re pissed at each other, we get no satisfaction from our words, so we fight it out physically. I lose because he’s stronger than me.
I’m now the submissive, and he’s marking his territory.
Saint’s a feminist at heart, and he wants me to make my own decisions. But in this bedroom, he has to save a little face and I don’t mind giving him this.
Besides, I’ve already come twice, and he’ll draw another one out of me before he’s done.
♦
“Are you done being mad?” Saint asks. He’s flat on his back with me sprawled on top of him, my head on his chest. His hand is on my lower back, gently stroking my skin.
It’s a stupid question. I’m so replete and mellow right now the room could catch on fire and I wouldn’t be mad.
As is typical of this sexy man with the magical fingers, tongue, and cock, he thoroughly destroyed me with sex and now he wants me to admit I’m not annoyed anymore.
“Promise not to try to chase me away?” I ask.
“Nope,” he replies, and I give him a hard nudge in the ribs with my knuckles. I melt a little when he says, “Never going to stop caring about you, Sin.”
I don’t respond. Letting the words sink into me, I choose to give them a bit of weight. While I get he’s not ready to figure out what we’re going to be to each other when all this is done, I have to accept he does care. The unknown is how much. Apparently, I’m going to have to wait for that answer.
I don’t want him to, though. I can’t imagine how he spent those years in prison believing the worst about me. Never knowing that what I did, I did out of love. I don’t want Saint to ever have those doubts again.
“Just so you know,” I say softly, raising my head to meet his eyes. Truth is always most evident there. “If you ask me to be a part of your life when this is over, the answer is ‘yes’.”
Saint stares at me, but he can’t hide what I see reflecting from his eyes. He likes what I said, even if he won’t say it.
Instead, he brings a hand up, pushes a bit of my wild mane back, and holds it there. “I’m going back to Pittsburgh tomorrow.”
Abrupt change of subject, but I can follow. “Because of your missing friend?”
He nods. We have nothing to do for almost a full week until we must attend Mercier’s party. William doesn’t have any jobs planned for us, so we’re free to do whatever we want. I was going to go back to London to hang with my dad and invite Saint to go with me, but Saint, at least, is off the table now.
“Would you want to come with me?” he asks hesitantly.
I can’t tell if the hesitation is because he doesn’t want me to or if he doesn’t want to hear if I say no.
Regardless, still feeling all kinds of mellow, I let him off the hook easy. “I’d love to, but I think I want to spend some time with Dad.”
There’s no relief in his gaze, so maybe he does want me to go. Regardless, our plans are set. Besides, maybe it will be good for us to spend a little bit of time apart. What is that old saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder?
That aside, I do find it telling he wants to fly back to Pittsburgh. At least from what I know of the situation, with his friend either dead or taken hostage in Syria, it means there’s not much Saint can do to help at this point.
Still, I feel for him. Saint is a loyal man who develops deep bonds when he cares for someone. I’ve been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of it before.
“If Jameson is as good as you say they are,” I say confidently, snuggling against his chest. “They’ll get your friend back.”
Saint squeezes me, a physical sign he appreciates my confidence. “I sure hope so.”
“You like this job, don’t you?” I don’t raise my head, wanting to evaluate his response based on the emotion in his voice.
“I do,” he says quietly. “I feel like I belong. More than anything, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m doing something my mother would have been proud of.”
My eyes mist up at the pointed reminder that Saint’s mother, whom he adored above all else in this world, is no longer here. I wasn’t responsible for her death, but I was responsible for the way she left this world.
Alone.
“She’s watching you now,” I say. “And yes… she’d be proud of you.”
Saint squeezes me again, but he doesn’t reply. I don’t say anything either, not knowing what more to offer to atone for what I’ve done.
CHAPTER 19
Saint
It’s telling I’m glad to be back in Pittsburgh. Coming out of the Fort Pitt tunnel and seeing the rise of a beautiful mountain city seemed like a homecoming of sorts. While I was born and raised in Birmingham, Alabama, I haven’t identified it as my home in an exceptionally long time. Not since I first left.
I’ve lived so many places the concept of roots had never meant much. That was also compounded by the fact I never thought about having a family, so having a solid home base meant nothing.
Until I’d met Sin.
Then I’d thought about it.
A lot.
It’s telling also how much I miss her. We’d parted ways in the airport—her headed to London and me to JFK—and it had seemed okay. But when I got on that plane and started moving farther away from her, it began to sink in how easily she’d inched her way back into my heart.
She hadn’t been wrong to ask about my plans for the future, and she deserves to know what they are.
But it’s also not wrong for me to take my time with this. While I might want her badly, we have so much to figure out. I went straight… working a legit job.
Sin is a world-class thief.
Those two lifestyles don’t mesh.
And even if Sin wanted to go straight, would she want to do it in Pittsburgh? If not, would I be willing to give up this new job to be with her?
There’s so much to figure out, but this is so not the time to do it. The weight of responsibility I’m feeling in not only bringing down Mercier to complete my job, but also to keep Sin safe at the same time has occupied all my brain capacity.