XL snorted but turned to Rachel and smiled. Yes, it would stick. She would see to that.
“What you need is a girlfriend to soothe those grumpy edges,” Mike told Adrian. “How come we haven’t seen you with anyone?”
Ash spoke, his voice amused. “His girlfriend wouldn’t be caught dead in Alden.”
“Ex-girlfriend,” Adrian corrected him.
“Tell us what kind of woman you like, and we’ll find you the perfect match,” Wilma said, forgetting she was still in the doghouse where Adrian was concerned.
“Nothing special.”
“No, nothing special,” Ash said, sounding ironic. “Imagine Sleeping Beauty in her ivory tower. Add to that a passion for high-end accessories, fashion, cosmetic surgeries, and trips to Europe, and you got it.”
Wilma frowned. “Not sure we can find someone like that on the dating service. Not enough upgrades.”
Yeah, Rachel thought so.
They continued talking and eating and drinking beer. After dessert, everyone spread around. The OGs stayed talking with Nathan Bowen, asking about the Eternal Sun resort. Sara and the guys sat on the trampoline. The Bowens lay on Adirondack chairs, enjoying the spring sun.
Rachel noticed that the hammock near the lakeshore was empty. She lay there, basking in the warmth, swinging, until she heard someone clearing his throat. It was Adrian.
“I’m tired of sitting on a chair. The most comfortable place around here is the hammock, so scoot over, Grease Barbie.”
Not waiting for an answer and without much finesse, he performed a controlled crash-landing onto the hammock, then lay on it. She tried to get off it, but he stopped her. “If you move, I’ll fall on my ass. Stay put or I’ll break the other leg. If you must leave, do it when I’m already settled.”
She pondered for a second. Fuck it. This was the best spot. No way was she giving it up. After some minutes of just swinging there in silence, she gathered enough courage to speak. “How’s your foot?”
“I’ll live,” he grunted.
“How long do you have to wear that bootie thing?”
“The walking boot? Three weeks, minimum.”
“And your chest?” she ventured, discouraged at his curt tone. “Any permanent damage?”
“No.”
Time to grovel. “I’m so sorry. I keep hiding the damn taser, but they keep finding it.” This one was new, though. The old one didn’t discharge any prongs, but she was going to keep that to herself. They were in enough trouble as it was.
“I want the taser in my office next Monday, first thing in the morning.”
“You got it. Thanks for not arresting us. Because you aren’t arresting us, right?” She didn’t dare to look at him.
It took several endless seconds before he sighed out loud. “It was accidental, or at least that’s what I choose to believe. And we have to take into consideration their BUI.”
She turned her head to him. “BUI?”
“Bowling under the influence,” he explained. “The neon lights got them high as kites. All the bedazzling didn’t help either.”
She burst into giggles. “You’re definitely not the asshole I thought you were.”
“I’ll keep busting the OGs if there’s need for it,” he warned her.
“We agreed to a truce, you and I, remember?”
Adrian ignored her words. “And if you get in the middle, I’ll bust you too.”
She thought about that for a second. “Fine. We’ll end up in the happy-hour cell. I can live with that.”
The hammock shook with his chuckles. “You’re impossible.”
“Didn’t you hear them talking with Nathan about the Eternal Sun resort? They seemed impressed by all the activities in that senior complex. You might get lucky and they might go check it out.”
His gaze was intense, scrutinizing. “Are you afraid they’ll stay in Florida?”
“No,” Rachel responded right away. “They may go for a week or two, but they will never leave Alden for good.” She was sure about that.
He had his other foot on the ground and used it to kick the hammock into a swing. “You whine about their shenanigans, but you can’t live without the OGs, Grease Barbie.”
She smiled, looking into the sky. “Your deductive powers are astonishing.” He was right, though. “Wilma is my family, and with her came Rebecca and her family, Greta, and the Bowens. I’m happy here. Much happier than when I lived by myself in Boston.”
“By yourself?”
She nodded. “My mom moved away. She’s the kind to chase after men.” And that was putting it mildly.
“What did you do in Boston?”
“Survive, basically.” She didn’t want to talk about her past. Thank God a loud scream and a laugh came to her rescue. It was Sara on the trampoline with XL. “Those two are hitting it off.”
“So it seems. You wouldn’t believe how much they bitched about you lending them to Sara, and look now. Did you tell her he’s a thug, and did you warn him that she’s much older?”
“Oh. My. God. Tell me, Boomer, how many years did you have on Jade?”
“Seven,” he confessed. “But I’m not a boomer, I’m just stating the obvious.”
“I rest my case,” she finished, rolling her eyes. Sara was twenty-three, for Christ’s sake. “Tell me about Jade. Was she the Sleeping Beauty in the ivory tower? Delicate and helpless and waiting to be rescued and flown to Europe for a shopping spree?”
He shrugged. “Probably.”
“What happened with her?”
“She expected a penthouse in the heart of the city, not to move to Alden in the old part of town, near my grandfather. She dumped me. And got quite offended, I might add.”
“I understand her. That’s false advertising.”
“What about you?” Adrian asked. “Any ex-boyfriends worth mentioning? Aside from bow-tie killers and such.”
“I dumped my last boyfriend, what, four years ago?”
“What did the poor fellow do?”
“It was my birthday and—”
“He forgot to buy you a present,” he finished for her.
Oh, he had gotten her a present. Just the wrong one. “He got me a boob job.”
“What?” he choked, turning to her.
“He’d arranged for me to get a boob job. Can you believe it?” The hammock was shaking so badly from his chuckles that she was in danger of falling. “He said I’d be happier with a D-cup. If I’d have known that was coming, I would have given him one of those machines that you pump to enlarge your dick.” He kept laughing, which somehow pleased Rachel. He looked like the Adrian she’d seen in Boston. “He didn’t understand why I broke up with him. Seemed offended, even, the asshole.”
“You need to block that app of yours.”
“I didn’t have the app back then. I managed to find that prime specimen all by myself.” She couldn’t blame the OGs for that, no matter how much she’d like to. “I’ve always had lousy taste in men. My exes invariably got me into trouble.”
“Oh, so it was invariably your ex-boyfriends’ fault?”