“I love you.”
The motion was almost violent, but he felt desperate that she should understand. “I was afraid. Afraid of loving you…afraid of love…because I thought what I knew of it only led to pain. But everything with you is the opposite. You are my reason. My weakness. My strength. You are my joy, Phoebe. The happiness you seek in life, I see it every day in your smiles, in your eyes, in the way you touch me…the way you kiss me, the way you hold me against your body.”
She took a step back, and his heart cracked.
“How detestable I’ve been to treat you with indifference when I so desperately love you. I conceived marriage to be my duty to my father, who scarified much for me, and nothing more. I did not believe in love…in truth, I did not think about it, for it was insignificant to everything I envisioned for my life. I must have fallen lamentably short of all your expectations with my distance. These last few weeks how I’ve held myself from you sinks me quite below reproach, especially since…the moment you sent me your first letter, against everything I’ve experience and learned, I was captivated.”
She took a small step toward him, her lips parted, and her palm pressed against her heart. Her bonnet hung limply on her head, and her dress had soaked.
Their gaze collided. And he realized then it had been weeks since she looked him directly in the eye.
“My feelings are unalterable. I love you…desperately. You are my reason, Phoebe…and you have been from the very first letter…it just took me a while to know it.”
She rushed to him and flung herself at him. Hugh did not care her momentum had toppled him over into the muddy earth. It only mattered that she was on top of him, staring down at him, heartbreaking love glowing in her eyes.
He closed his eyes in abject relief. She kissed his lids, the warmth of her breath, the loving touch of her hand against his cheek burning away the cold.
“I love you, Hugh.” He felt the shape of her words against his lips, and they burrowed deep inside his heart.
He cupped her cheek and kissed her tenderly, barely brushing his lips over hers. And I’ll ensure you never regret it, my love.
…
Later that night, Hugh slipped from the sleeping arm of his wife. He paused when she muttered, twisted, and flung one of her legs over his, trapping him. With a smile, he gently arranged her and eased from the bed. After quickly dressing in his trousers and shirt, he left the room and made his way to the library. He drew up to see Caroline there, curled on the sofa, reading a book. She glanced up when she saw him.
“It is frightfully late.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I could not sleep. Why are you here?”
He padded over to the large desk and look down. “Phoebe had mentioned the letter she wrote me spanned two pages. I only saw the first one.”
“I know,” Caroline said softly with a smile.
Hugh stilled. It was then he recalled she had been the one to frantically alarm him that Phoebe had left him.
“You took it?”
Instead of answering, she asked, “Did Phoebe not inform you of the content?”
“No. Our thoughts were elsewhere. I simply thought it odd I only found the one sheet.”
Caroline stood and strolled over to him. “I saw when she left the letter for you on your desk. I read them and then removed the second page.”
“Why did you do that?”
“I wanted you to realize how much you love and need her. I hoped the first page would be enough to make you rush after her like a madman.”
She dipped her hand in the deep pocket of her skirt and withdrew the second sheet. Tipping on her toes, she kissed his cheek and without another word turned and left the library.
Hugh glanced down at the folded sheet. Nothing would have prevented him from going after Phoebe. He unfolded the paper. Christ. He recalled the fear he had felt when he’d read that last line on the first page.
I am taking Franny and leaving—
And then nothing. He swallowed and read what had been missing.
—for England, Derbyshire to be precise, to spend some time with my brother and introduce Franny to her family. I need to question Evie on what she did exactly to win Richard over. I am hoping to use that knowledge on your stubborn heart. I also feel overwhelmed with the need to box your ears silly. I will return in a few weeks, and it is only fair to warn you I will come prepared to fight a battle for your heart.
A piercing love filled his heart, and Hugh smiled. The light flickered, and he turned up the wick on the lamp, sat on the edge of his desk, and continued reading.
I am not giving up. To forget about love means I never believed in it in the first place; it means I did not believe in you…in us. And I do believe. So, my darling, be prepared that when we return home, I will wage a war for your heart, and I will win. Because in the depth of my pain, I remembered something. The kindness of the man who married me without hesitation. The man who walked shoeless with me to the chapel. The man who made lanterns with me so I can float away my fears and doubts to the heavens. The man who rubbed my back when I hurt and held me when I could not sleep even though his shoulders must have hurt dreadfully in that one position.
I recalled the way you looked at Franny when she arrived in the world, fiercely protective and tender. I remember your promise to protect us forever. I also remember your kisses…the delightful kisses…I recalled the hunger…and I remembered the passion. I remember that we were fated to meet and love each other. And all of those is worth any price, even my pride in fighting for it.
Your daughter and I will return home soon.
Love, Phoebe.
Epilogue
A few months later…
Hugh slowly entered the secret garden he had built for Phoebe on the eastern section of the estate. She lay on the grass, surrounded by an explosion of flowers—lilies, gardenias, snowdrops, pansies, and daffodils in full bloom around her. The sight of her splayed atop the grass, their daughter resting on her chest, both sleeping peacefully among the flowers and birds, was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.
Every day, he thanked God he had pulled his head from his arse to see the paradise he had been given right here on earth. He padded over and lowered himself to the grass beside his wife. Hugh shifted, slightly coming up on his elbow so he could watch his loves. Soon they would traverse to London, and while the common practice was to leave children in the countryside during the Season, Hugh and Phoebe had decided they would take Franny and her nursemaid with them on their travels. Caroline, who had only departed yesterday to England, would enjoy seeing her niece even as she prepared to be launched into the cruel limelight of England’s society. Hugh trusted that his sister would be safe and well protected under the Marchioness and Marquess of Westfall’s home as Evie slowly introduced her to the ton.