“I know,” I whisper. “I hated keeping it from you. I was so ashamed. I felt like I had failed you with every single life lesson you’ve ever taught me. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and because of that, I got hurt.”
“No, no. You didn’t do anything wrong. That awful boy took advantage of you. He hurt you. You were victimized and attacked. You did nothing wrong but try to be comfortable in your home. You are not at fault. Do you understand me? You are the most beautiful, bravest, strongest, courageous, intelligent, and loving human being I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and don’t you ever forget that.” she tells me, holding me impossibly tighter.
My eyes close as I sink into her hold, taking every ounce of love she has on offer. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you too my sweet baby girl.”
I pull back and meet her eyes that are so similar to mine. “We’re turning over a new leaf,” I tell her. “From now on, there are no secrets between us. Straight up honesty.”
“I agree,” she says, taking both of my hands.
“In that case,” I say, letting out a shaky breath. “Why don’t you sit down? There are a few things I’ve discovered over the past twenty-four hours, things that we really need to talk about.”
Chapter 35
Mom takes a seat on the couch just as Colton walks into the room. He takes one look at us and the grim look in my eyes and spins on his heel, only to stalk right back out again. I can’t blame him. This isn’t exactly a place I want to be either.
How am I supposed to tell my mother that the man I brought into our lives is responsible for killing her husband?
I take a shaky breath and mom reaches for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “What is it, honey? Do you need me to come down to the police station with you to give your statement?”
“Oh,” I say, slightly taken by surprise. “No, I uhh … well, actually yeah. That would be good, but that’s not what I needed to talk to you about.”
Her brow raises, knowing it must be something serious after I went to the added effort of asking her to sit down. “What else could there possibly be to talk to me about?”
“It’s about Dad,” I warn.
Her brows fly straight back up. “What about him?”
“More about who killed him.”
Mom’s body freezes and she stares at me with fear. “You know?” she questions, her hands beginning to shake. “You know who did it?”
A single tear falls from my eye and I try to find the strength to continue, knowing that she deserves the absolute truth. I can’t hide this from her. He was her husband and this isn’t just hiding little details from her, this is life and death.
I meet her eyes and feel the heartache creeping up my chest but I push it back down, intent to get this out. “It was Dominic, Mom. I found the dagger in his room last night. He killed Dad and then he killed Charles Carrington to keep it quiet.”
Mom pulls back, sucking in a gasp and staring at me as though I’m telling some sick, twisted joke. “Dominic?” she questions in horror. “No, Ocean. That’s not funny. Who told you to say that?”
“I really, really wish I was joking,” I tell her. “He betrayed us. He killed my dad and he’s not even sorry about it. He stood in our living room and promised me that he would find whoever did it, but he was lying. It was him.”
Tears begin to well in her eyes as it starts to sink in. “Nic did it? The boy I’ve always treated as a son? The boy who I welcomed into my home?”
I drop my gaze, too ashamed to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry. He told me last night because he was backed in a corner and couldn’t lie his way out. This is all my fault. I brought Nic into our lives and ...” A strangled cry cuts me off as the emotions come up with the force of a freight train, completely pulling me under until I'm drowning under its weight. “If I knew … if I’d have just …”
“No, no, no, honey,” Mom says, throwing her arms around me and crushing me into her chest. “How could you have known? You did nothing wrong. You discovered the truth and you came to me right away.”
She rocks me back and forth like she used to do when I was a kid and we sit there for nearly an hour, lost in our tortured thoughts.
Only when her tears have finally dried, does she ask about the finer details and I tell her everything I know, hating that I have to be the one to break this news to her. If the cops cared about people like us, they would have found this out months ago and this could have been a wound that was already beginning to heal, but it seems more like one that continues to get torn wide open time and time again.
After talking it through and Mom calling it quits for the day, she settles in the pool house with a bottle of Charles’ most expensive wine, suddenly not giving a shit about the man that she used to see as charming, especially after learning that I was bought and that’s the only reason why we ended up here.
As all the truths came spilling out of my mouth, the weight of their ugliness lifted off my shoulders until I finally felt like I could breathe.
I find myself in Colton’s shower, turning the heat right up and allowing the hot water to wash away the pain of the last few days. Colton’s words in the parking garage went a long way to helping heal what was broken inside of me, but they won’t do anything to take away the sting of Nic’s betrayal.
I wash my hair and scrub my body clean as though I’m somehow able to cleanse myself of all of the bullshit.
Nothing will take it away, nothing except time. The sooner I accept that the sooner I’ll be able to move on. I just have to figure out how I’m going to get by without having Nic in my life. It's one thing hating him for lying and knowing that deep down I’ll eventually forgive him, but this is the end of the chapter for the Nic and Ocean love affair. We’re officially done. I’m closing the book. There is not a damn thing that Nic could say or do that will make any of this okay.
The minutes tick by and I find myself staring at the expensive marble tiles of the shower wall before realizing that my whole body is beginning to prune. I step out of the shower and pull the white towel around my body, soaking in its warmth and admiring its soft brush as it drapes over my skin. I’ll never get used to how amazing these towels are. I would have loved to have this kind of luxury growing up, but on the other hand, if I had become accustomed to this as a child, I wouldn’t consider it so damn special now.
It’s the little things, I guess.
I fold the towel around my body and stand in front of the mirror brushing through my long hair. My eyes grow heavy and despite it being the middle of the day, the emotional roller coaster of the last twenty-four hours has me more than ready to call it a day. I could seriously get in bed right now and not wake until this time next week.
With my hair still damp from my shower, I twist it up into a bun before stepping out of the bathroom and into Colton’s bedroom. I find his eyes already on me, studying the natural curves of my body and I can't help but make my way over to him.
I missed him more than I could ever admit. I’ve never known pain like that before and it just proves how right this is. I was meant to be here with him and no matter what, I feel like all roads would have led right back to him.