Brandon doesn’t hesitate. He nods and waves her on with ease. I love my friends for being careful with me with the situation, but it’s obvious that I’m the odd addition here, not Kristen.
She rises, turning to Caiden. “You want a beer, babe?”
He nods, and I pray to the sweet angels of my sanity they don’t kiss—
She leans down, obliterating my hope at composure when her lips press to his.
Before I can plan my sudden escape, Caiden turns to me, his eyes blazing apologetically once she’s out of sight, but I shift to look at Cameron, who wraps his arm around me, pulling me close.
But I shrug it off. Not because I don’t appreciate it, but it’s all too sympathetic for my liking. It’s like the whole world knows my pain and heartbreak, and it fucking sucks. I’m not losing. When did everyone decide this whole thing is my loss? It’s not. At least, I don’t think so. Life happens, and I WILL suck it up and deal with it, even if it hurts.
“She seems nice, Caiden,” I say, offering a small lift of the corner of my mouth as I release a pent-up breath. He nods, unsure what to do with my words. “Now,” I nod. “Seeing as we’ve all gotten over that moment, does anyone know when my mom’s thing is?”
Everyone is staring at one another as if dumbfounded. Are they confused that I want to brush the fact Kristen is Caiden’s girlfriend under the rug? Or what?
I wish Caiden wasn’t the one who responds, but he is. “I wanted to talk to you about that. They’re gonna do the memorial at seven, and then I’m gonna go up and speak, and then, if you want, it’d probably be nice for you to say something, too.”
“What?” I squeak, my mouth hanging open. This night is too much. Why is this town constantly testing my emotional limits?
I tug my phone from my pocket and take a look. “Oh my God, that’s in fifteen minutes. Why didn’t you say something about this before? You’re speaking? I, uh, I don’t know what to do right now. Where the hell is my beer?”
CeeCee is at my side in a moment, shoving Cameron out of the way, which has him rolling his eyes as he says, “What if I’m the one Hailey needs? It’s possible.”
CeeCee presses her palm to his face, pushing him away, causing him to erupt into laughter.
At least this has me smiling.
My eyes lift to CeeCee’s. “I can’t do this,” I quip.
“You don’t have to,” she replies with a comforting shake of her head.
Her words have my face twisting tightly like I just sucked on a lemon. “Uh, yeah I do. If this jerk-off over here is going to speak, then I should.” I pause, turning to Caiden, confused a moment. “What are you doing saying something about my mom, by the way?”
He shrugs. “I thought I was a jerk-off?”
“You still are. Why, Caiden?” I repeat.
“She’s important to me.” He shrugs.
My chin falls, and no one needs to know I’m staring down at my heart, trying to tell it to calm the fuck down. I have no words.
CeeCee’s hands come around my face, squishing my cheeks together in the most unattractive manner as she lifts my stare to hers. “You got this. You’re a writer. Words. All you need are words.”
Did she not just get the memo that I have none of those, hence my silence?
Her compassionate glare has me considering she might slap some sense into me soon.
“Okay, okay, I got this,” I gulp down.
The silencing music and the screeching mic has my head perking up. I see the old fire chief, Dean McPherson, walk up to the podium, and when he shoots me a smirk and a confirming head nod, I swivel back around to Caiden, who is feigning his own look that’s almost a smile but a downright guilty one.
“So, McPherson might think I’ve already told you about speaking tonight,” he blurts out.
“What! You had all the time in the world to tell me, Caid. This is really sudden, and it has to do with my mom. I don’t appreciate this being thrust on me.”
He at least has the decency to droop at my words. The realization that this isn’t fair to me, hitting him. “Sorry. I should have said something about this earlier, but to say I had all the time in the world is a stretch. Don’t forget I got distracted by saving your house from burning down.”
CeeCee’s head whips in his direction. “You what?”
Brandon appears holding two beers. I leap upward, hating the moment and the fact I’m overheating with embarrassment.
“I need!” I grab the beer and begin a hard chug.
Kristen is gliding, or walking, or whatever behind him. She sees me chugging and laughs, and I think she says something to me, but all I can hear is the gurgle of my own throat as I wave her off, needing this long, hard drink. She floats by, and her hair wafts this overly sweet smell that has me thinking that’s what Care Bears might smell like, and how can you hate a Care Bear when they’re so damn nice?
Chug. Chug. Chug.
“Martha Elwood touched everyone’s lives. If she wasn’t smiling at you across the street, or serving you her famous pie at the diner, she was always a phone call away to be there to help. But she won’t be forgotten, and we hope her legacy lives on with Elwood’s. She will be missed, but never forgotten.” Dean sighs from the stage, taking off his baseball cap to wipe his forehead before turning my direction to say, “A face I’m sure you remember, a girl Martha couldn’t stop talking about is also here, and we’d love to invite her on stage to speak.”
I pull the beer from my lips, handing it blindly to Brandon. Everyone’s staring, and did I mention earlier that I could vomit everywhere?
Caiden rises from his seat and is at my side in a second, placing his hand against the small of my back, causing this electric current to ignite the movement of my body, like Victor Frankenstein to his creation. He lightly pushes me forward and walks me to the stage. I smile nervously and tell myself not to cry.
As my boots hit the steps, I remember I have no idea what I’m going to say, but there’s no going back now. I don’t need more reasons for this town to talk.