Jodi agreed. “Is this why you hate clutter so much?”
“Well, yeah.” Alix rolled her eyes. “When your parents become crazy, trashy rich people who put rhinestones and monograms on everything and get six—six!—Pomeranians, you end up throwing a lot of stuff away. At the time I was like, ‘This is awesome! I can buy all the CDs I want!’ but they weren’t even that rich. It was ridiculous.” Just speaking about it, Alix could smell the inside of her parents’ home, the one they’d since had to give up to custody of the state. Outside were SUVs with vanity license plates and cheetah-print steering wheel covers. Inside was an overly air-conditioned blast with cardboard boxes containing new purchases constantly piled next to the front door. It perpetually smelled empty, like a model home, the kind you find in a ranch-style housing development where the kitchen drawers are glued shut and the sinks have never been connected to water. The Pomeranians roamed the house and left poop everywhere that looked like piles of moldy grapes.
“So anyway,” Alix said. “My senior year, I got my first real boyfriend.”
Kelley Copeland grew three inches between his sophomore and junior years, and Alex Murphy noticed. At five-ten, Alex felt the number of guys she “could” date were limited, but Kelley would have been an excellent option regardless. He was just so nice and casually funny, and he did this thing where he held the door for people with his arm above their heads. You got to duck down cutely beneath his elbow, and he’d say things like, “I gotchyou,” or “No sweat.” Alex and Kelley both played volleyball at William Massey High, and she managed to sit next to him on a three-hour bus ride to a tournament in Poughkeepsie. At the time, Alex felt very radical and progressive for dating a junior, when she herself was a very mature senior. “I think we only dated for about four months,” she said, but Alix knew exactly how long they dated. It was officially from New Year’s Eve, 1999, to April 12, 2000. “But still, we said ‘I love you’ and I went to all of his games . . . all of that stuff you think means something when you’re eighteen.”
Rachel widened her eyes and said, “I love you, but I’m waiting for the embarrassment.”
“Sorry, okay.” Alix sighed and sat back; the bottom of her chair squeaked beneath her. “So I kind of wrote him letters every week . . .”
Rachel snorted and Jodi said, “Oh, Alix.”
“I know, I know. Obviously now I’d be like, ‘Hey Al, pump the brakes on the letters,’ but it seemed like a really good idea at the time. Until Kelley decided to show one of my letters, the worst possible one, to the most popular kid in school.” This kid’s name was Robbie Cormier. Everyone knew Robbie, and even though he was a bit of a class clown, teachers enjoyed having him in class because he’d loudly make up raps and rhymes to help himself memorize the material. He was very short but insanely attractive for high school and was crowned king at the prom that Alix never went to.
Jodi said, “Uh-oh.”
“Well, come on, now.” Tamra placed her fork on her plate and dusted her hands away from the table. “I’m going to need the original transcription of that letter. Spill, girl.”
“I sent Kelley a lot of letters . . .” Alix stared up into the patio umbrella and shook her head. She remembered the feeling of using her pinky nails to slide the folded letters through the slats of Kelley’s locker, and the light sound they made inside when they landed. “But this letter,” she said, “was the absolute worst.”
Rachel gasped. “Was it a sext? A LetHer sext. LetHer send nudes.”
From across the table, Jodi touched Alix’s hand. “You write beautiful letters for a living, so don’t feel bad.”
The women leaned forward and waited for Alix to describe the only letter she’d ever regretted sending. “The letter he showed to this kid,” she said, “had my address, driveway code, and a map to my house. I literally made him an invitation including where, when, and to which song I’d like him to take my virginity.” The map included two sets of curly lines representing water; one was labeled Jacuzzi and the other was marked Pool. Alex also drew the massive keyhole-shaped driveway, the basketball court, an arrow to where the fire pit was, and a heart above her bedroom. There was a box at the bottom for him to check Yes or No.
Tamra said, “Oh lord,” and Rachel said, “Eeeekkk.”
“I wanted to have sex!” Alix talked with her hands and said this over Jodi saying, “Oh, honey.” “My parents were going to be out of town for the weekend. We could never fool around at his place because he had a bunch of siblings . . . and I just liked him so much and wanted to know it would happen.”
Tamra poured more wine into Alix’s glass.
“So Kelley shows this note to Robbie,” Alix continued, “and Robbie, who I’d never talked to in my life, comes up to me and says, ‘I heard your parents will be out of town this weekend. We want to come party at your mansion.’” At the time, Alex could barely register that Robbie was speaking to her. Alex and Kelley weren’t outcasts, but they weren’t exactly high on the social chain. Alex knew this because it happened twice; when people found out that they were dating, they’d go, “Really?” and then, “Yeah, that makes sense.”
So when she remembered Robbie asking if he could come to her mansion, Alix remembered saying no in a more polite way than she should have. At the time, she was much more disturbed about the idea of him seeing the rest of the letter. Alix marched straight to Kelley, who denied receiving the letter altogether.
“Why would I show one of your notes to Robbie?” Kelley kept saying. Alex confronted him at his car while wearing knee pads and a ponytail. “I swear I didn’t get that one. But if Robbie wants to come over . . . that would be kind of awesome.”
“Kelley!” Alex screamed. “That letter was like . . . the most important one!”
On top of having to explain the contents of the letter, Alex remembered being equally annoyed at Kelley’s fondness of Robbie Cormier and the five other athletes he was always seen with. They were stars on and off the field, loud and funny and cute. They were overly friendly with the high school custodians and they showily high-fived them when they passed in the halls. When any member of this group showed Kelley an ounce of attention, Kelley’s neck went red as he tried to act both interesting and normal. It wasn’t hard to picture Kelley showing Alex’s note to Robbie in passing. Kelley thought he was “awesome” and their lockers were stacked near a frequently used water fountain.
But Alex wasn’t about to have a party when her plan was to lose her virginity. She didn’t know these people, Claudette would be spending the weekend at the house with Alex and Betheny, and she wasn’t going to college as a virgin. It didn’t take much for Kelley to win her back over. “Hey, maybe you dropped the note or something.” He said this with his forearms on her shoulders. “But it’s fine because you told him no. He’s not just gonna come over. But . . . am I still invited?”