Josh frowned. “Is that a fancy way of saying I gave you an orgasm? Because like I told you, that was no big deal.”
Clara ignored his piercing comment. She didn’t need a reminder of how little last night meant to him. “I got a job helping some people I really care about. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’m desperate. It’ll probably take all of five minutes. I’ll sit in the car, freak out, and then we can throw driving on top of the list of failures I am rapidly accumulating.”
Josh resumed eating. “I don’t get it. Why are you so sure you can’t drive? I know you have a license. I saw it the other day when you bought wine at the grocery store.”
“I caused an accident,” Clara finally admitted, the words ripped out of her. “It was a couple of nights before cotillion. That’s like a fancy society event,” she said in answer to his blank look. “I was late to rehearsal and I was so worried that if I didn’t show up, Everett would end up escorting someone else.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Everett Bloom?”
“The one and only.”
Josh sighed. “You know, I’m starting to think that guy sucks.”
“The exit was coming up fast, and I needed to change lanes. I hate changing lanes. I can never time it correctly. In the end, I turned on my blinker and hoped for the best. I don’t recommend that strategy.”
“Hey, accidents happen.”
She struggled to control her breathing. “My younger brother, Oliver, was in the passenger seat. He ended up with fourteen stitches, a bruised collarbone, and a broken arm.”
“Clara,” Josh said gently, “even good drivers make mistakes.”
“Mistakes?” She let out a tight, painful laugh. “I’ve got terrible instincts. Whatever inner voice other people have telling them what to do, mine’s broken. Every time I try to follow my intuition, someone gets hurt. For a long time, I couldn’t get behind the wheel without hearing Oliver scream.”
She tried to shake away the memories but only managed to set flour raining from her hair.
“You’re being too hard on yourself. You were a kid.”
“I had a series of expensive instructors over the years, but it was always the same story. My father wrote me off as a lost cause. Told me to move to New York where I could take the subway and hail a cab.”
Clara’s shoulders slumped forward. “Look, I’m being pragmatic. I’ve never been able to do it before. It stands to reason I won’t be able to do it now. But I told Jill I would try, and I don’t want to be another family member who lets her down.” She stared at her plate. “I realize you have no reason to help me, that I’m already more trouble than you’d prefer, but since you haven’t actually said no yet, I’m gonna ask one more time. Please, Josh?”
He squinted at the ceiling. “You want it bad, huh?”
Visions of lurid double entendres chose that very inappropriate moment to invade her senses. Josh was sexy even when he wasn’t trying. Nothing in his body language suggested innuendo. If anything, she saw concern woven across his features. Still, his words affected her.
Please try to focus. “I feel like if I can do this, the move won’t have been for nothing. I’ll have something to show for it, even without Everett. If I can get over this fear, I can stop avoiding my mother’s calls and tell her I accomplished something.”
“Okay, fine.” Josh tipped his head back and closed his eyes. “But you owe me.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Man, you look like I just won you a giant teddy bear at the county fair.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She launched herself at him without thinking, gratitude outweighing her anxieties about touching him. Josh endured the hug, patting her head awkwardly. He smelled like an orchard, crisp and sweet.
“Okay. Well.” He detangled himself from her arms and moved to transfer some of her used pans to the sink. “I’ll do the dishes, try to minimize the damage from the flour bomb that went off in here, and then we’ll go.”
Her grin faltered. “Wait. You’re coming with me?” She really didn’t need Josh to stand witness to another humiliation.
“You didn’t think after that whole speech I was gonna let you go alone? I’ll be your vehicle supervisor.” He pulled on the yellow rubber gloves she’d bought as the sink filled with soapy water. “That’s my offer. Take it or leave it.”
She wished she could leave it, but she knew that come Monday morning, she’d have both Jill and Toni waiting for her, depending on her. Looking stupid or weak was nothing next to the idea of not meeting the expectations of people she admired. Josh already thought of her as an anomaly, an alien from Planet Stick-up-the-Butt.
Why not throw one more log on the trash can fire of her reputation?
chapter twelve
CLARA HAD STUMBLED on the one area of Josh’s life in which he had trouble relinquishing control.
“Repeat rules seven through nine one more time,” Josh said from the passenger seat of the Corvette thirty minutes later.
They’d sat in the car, in the driveway, for the past fifteen minutes while he tried to get fully on board with the plan.
Clara inhaled slowly through her nose and then repeated Josh’s “rules of the road” in the monotone of someone for whom words have lost all meaning. “No slamming on the brakes. No riding the brakes. Proper footwear must be worn at all times.” She tilted her head at him in exaggerated question, her hands firmly at positions ten and two on the steering wheel. “Can we please go? I promise I will follow all traffic laws and in no way intentionally endanger this vehicle. Under no circumstances will I engage the high beams without permission.”
At least some of the nerves threatening to eat her insides had given way to aggravation and tedium. Whether he’d suggested the rules to intentionally lure her into a false sense of security or not, they’d had that effect.
Josh buckled his seat belt and then double-checked it. “I’ve noted your lack of enthusiasm for the rules, but you may proceed.”
Not exactly a vote of confidence, but better than the alternative.
Clara gave him a look out of the corner of her eye. “You’re weird in the car.”
“Excuse me? Are you choosing this moment to mouth off to the owner of the extremely valuable vehicle you’re preparing to pilot?”
“Really weird,” Clara muttered as she made final adjustments to the mirrors. She’d already set them in different positions four separate times. She started the car and the purr of the engine made her jump.