If the world were fair, Josh would have been able to get into a ring and fight for what he wanted. If the world were fair, he would have stood a chance.
chapter thirty-one
JOSH’S PAIN MADE him crave sugar, so he and Clara showed up to the studio the next morning bearing brownies. They weren’t supposed to arrive until noon, but he couldn’t stay trapped in the house with her any longer.
When he suggested they get going early, his roommate, because that was all she would ever be to him, hadn’t argued. But her eyes had darted to where the keys to the rental car hung on a hook by the door and she’d shivered like they’d sprouted big hairy legs.
“It’s okay,” he said, understanding her hesitation to get behind the wheel again after the accident. “I’ll drive.”
As he talked shop with Naomi, Josh tried his best to pretend he didn’t have a giant stamp on his forehead that read I had sex with Clara and I’ll never get over it.
As his ex-girlfriend had forewarned, getting involved with his business partner and roommate left him nowhere to lick his wounds. He couldn’t escape Clara. Every time he turned around she looked carefree and pretty, the opposite of his rotting soul. The worse part was, she kept trying to apologize to him over and over again. Which only made him feel worse. He’d never felt as alone as he had climbing into his vacant bed the night before, knowing she was lying feet away and miles apart from him. He’d read the situation with her so wrong, it might as well have been written in a foreign language.
He would count it as a tiny victory if he could at least avoid Naomi detecting his massive miscalculation. Luckily, his ex seemed distracted.
Josh remained paranoid all morning, convinced there were signs of their indiscretion everywhere. For a moment he thought he saw a lingering love bite on her wrist, but it turned out to be leftover chocolate.
This must be karma. In the past, he would have loved the idea of a no-strings-attached romp, but this was Clara. Clara. He wished he’d never gotten a taste of her.
Just a few more weeks. Then at least he could move out. She wouldn’t be the first person he saw when he woke up and the last before he went to sleep. God, he felt sick.
Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he hit pause and took off his headphones, turning to find the object of his unwanted affection.
His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her, at the way the lightweight top she wore left her arms and shoulders bare. He faked a cough to cover his reaction. Even though she kept a healthy distance between them, Josh got a whiff of the sunscreen on her skin. Somehow she’d rewired his brain to find all of these formerly ordinary things arousing. She wasn’t even showing any cleavage, for fuck’s sake.
“Kiana looks great, doesn’t she?” Clara said, looking at the screen over his shoulder, oblivious to the effect she had on him.
Josh forced his gaze back to the video, where a blonde was enjoying some heavy petting from her partner. The shot focused on her reaction. Clara openly admiring another woman in the throes of passion was too much for him at the moment. His hindbrain sat up and growled. “You’ve seen this?”
“Oh yeah. I was there when they shot it last week,” she said, nonchalant.
The sensory knowledge he’d gained the other night had only added fuel to his desire for her. He stood up abruptly, needing to put more distance between them, needing to think of anything but licking her warm, wet skin.
“You wanna order Thai for lunch?” he asked.
“Oh, um . . .” She grew enthralled with a crack in the vinyl of the table.
“Clara’s got plans,” Naomi said, joining them. “But I’ll go in on noodles with you.”
“Plans?” He looked at Clara for clarification. Since when did Clara have plans that didn’t include him?
“A day date,” Naomi answered. Her eyes told him not to argue. “I set it up two weeks ago. My dentist is handsome and single. They’re meeting at Griffith Park at two.”
“A blind date, huh?” Josh tried to ask like a normal person, a person with less to lose.
Clara nodded. “Naomi insisted on setting it up because I haven’t gone out much since I moved here.”
Josh had kissed her and held her and been inside her, and she would still rather go on a date with some random guy.
“Your phone is ringing,” Naomi said, handing him the offending electronic device. Her raised brows said, What is wrong with you?
The caller ID made him grimace. “It’s Bennie.” He moved his thumb to send the call to voice mail. Everything was wrong and he didn’t know how to fix it. He needed to talk to Clara. Now.
“Answer,” Naomi told him.
He shot daggers at her. “Hello?”
“Darling.” His agent’s voice sounded in his ear. “It’s been too long. I hope you didn’t think you were done with me?”
“What do you want, Bennie?”
“Now, now. Better watch that tone. Someone less charitable might take offense. I’m calling to let you know about some industry developments I thought you might find interesting. I believe you know Paulo Santiago and Lucie Corben?”
Of course Josh knew those names. Paulo was the editor who’d given him the Final Cut software download in exchange for a round of beers, and Lucie was a makeup artist who told him dirty jokes until he laughed so hard he cried off all her handiwork. They were two of his favorite people in the business.
“Get to your point.”
“They’ve both been removed from consideration on any future Black Hat productions.”
He covered the mouthpiece of the phone with his palm. “Pruitt’s making good on his threats.”
Naomi cursed under her breath.
“You’re a piece of shit, Bennie. Doing that bastard’s dirty work is low, even for you,” Josh said into the phone.
“Hey, kid. I’m the messenger. For every day you go without signing a new contract, the list of people who find themselves out of work goes up. And if you’re thinking about pushing your luck, let me remind you that Mr. Pruitt’s holdings are vast. He’s got a lot of expendable resources. He can afford to wait. If you change your mind about signing, you know where to reach me,” he said before disconnecting the call.
In contrast to the people caught in the crosshairs was the implicit subtext. Josh knew that Paulo and Lucie lived paycheck to paycheck, like a lot of Pruitt’s employees. He thought about Paulo’s kids and Lucie’s expensive ongoing hormone therapy treatments.
He couldn’t let them suffer for his actions. His mistakes. He slammed his fist on the card table so hard the legs wobbled. This week was shaping up to be a real kick in the teeth.