I looked out before me in a daze as the city passed us by. Closing my eyes became impossible when it was all I wanted to do. The fog of fear trapped me.
“Oliver?” Lynch’s tone came out harsh and loud, pulling me out of the daze. I didn’t bother meeting his gaze as he whipped through winding roads to the hospital. “How did you know?”
It didn’t matter.
Lynch exhaled and rubbed his palm over his balding head before returning it over the wheel, and his thumb tapped to whatever mantra repeated in his head. “She can’t know. You can’t tell her,” he continued.
I remained silent for a moment, neither confirming or denying I’d keep his secret. I’d do whatever was best for Mia.
“Your eyes,” my voice came out low and quiet, “She has your eyes.”
My lips sucked in, and I was finally able to close my own eyes.
Mia had to be okay. She had to be okay.
“We’re here,” Lynch stated and the car whipped into a space in the car park. Before the gear moved to park, I was already out and running toward the entrance. Nothing moved fast enough. Even the air and blood pumping through me couldn’t keep up with my racing thoughts and stride.
“Mia Rose Jett,” my bloody hands trembled over the desk as the receptionist looked up in horror. “What room?”
“Sir, you need to si—
My fist slammed against the desk. “What room?”
People walked all around me. The energy from the crowd ricocheted off me, not able to touch me. Nothing could touch me.
“Are you family?” she asked with a raise of her testing brow.
The sudden hand on my shoulder was Lynch’s as he took over the conversation. “Jett is a patient of mine. I need an update on her status.”
My jaw tensed, and I shrugged his arm off me and broke out into a run through the double swinging doors. My eyes hit every inch of the place as I walked in circles, gripping my hair and my eyes burning from trying to keep it together for Mia. She had to be okay.
“Mia Jett?” I asked as a nurse passed by with her head down, and I stepped out in front of her. “Please, what room?”
Her attention landed on me. Her gaze roamed over me, studying me and judging me, then turned to her clipboard in her hands. “Umm … Jett? Uh … Mia, Mia, Mia … Ah there,” she looked back at me. She’s in the OR. You can wait with the officer in the waiting area until she’s released.”
Her tiny pale finger pointed behind me, and I turned my head back to see Scott behind a glass wall in a closed-off room down the hall, pacing in circles.
I looked back in front of me, and the girl disappeared.
“Bloody hell,” Scott’s words rushed out as soon as I made my way inside the far too tiny room, not nearly big enough to hold the tension and worry spilling out from the both of us. “How the fuck did you get here?”
Ignoring him, I took a seat and pushed my elbows into my knees to control the bouncing, rubbing my palms up and down my face. “How was she? In the ambulance? Have you heard anything?” I asked, lifting my head to meet his eyes just as Lynch walked through.
Everyone’s gaze made the journey around the room before falling back on me. I jumped to my feet and gripped the ends of my hair to avoid finding their way to flesh, drywall, or glass. “How the fuck is she?”
Scott looked to Lynch again. “She passed out in the bus, lost too much blood,” Scott shook his head with a tremor in his voice, “It’s not looking good.”
“She’ll make it.” She had to.
“And how are you so sure of everything? Mr. Glass-Half-Full, everything honky-dory,” tears pricked his eyes, “And why is he here?” Scott turned to Lynch. “Why the fuck did you bring him? You will risk everythin—
“He knows,” Lynch interrupted.
It turned quiet after that.
I couldn’t sit still. The smell of the emergency department did nothing to ease the sickness eating away inside as I wordlessly prayed to any god who would listen to take care of my love. Every doctor, nurse, and worker who walked by, I’d asked the same bloody question, and the only answer I’d received was the same, “Her doctor will come to talk to the family as soon as they can.”
Milliseconds turned to minutes. Minutes turned to hours. I’d walked over every inch of the small room, sat in every chair, touched every surface of the glass wall. I’d prayed, cursed, and replayed that moment in my head over and over, condemning myself for letting her out of my sight.
“Mia?” A doctor announced, walking through the electric sliding door with her information in the palms of his hands.
I was the first to appear before him as the other two surrounded me. “She’s okay?”
“She pulled through,” the doctor said and exhales let go like a domino effect between the three of us. “Now … ” his eyes darted between the three of us, “Who’s family?”
“I am,” Lynch and I said in unison. “I need to see her,” I added through gritted teeth.
“She’s being transferred to a room now, but the pain meds have her out cold at the moment. She probably won’t wake for another hour or so. In the meantime, I have a few officers coming to take statements.”
“Of course,” Lynch breathed, dropping his tense shoulders and relief visible in his expression. Me? Not yet. Not until I saw her with my own eyes.
“What room?” I demanded.
The doctor looked up from Mia’s file. “Excuse me?”
“What room is she in?”
For the first time, the doctor examined my wardrobe. His eyes fell to Jinx’s shoes on my feet, up to the blood smeared across my arms, then down the front of the white tee hanging loosely around me.
I cleared my throat.
“It’s best you stay here for the police to take your statement.”
I narrowed my eyes and took a step forward. “I’m not doing shit until I see Mia.”
“Oliver,” Lynch warned with a hand over my shoulder. “What room?” he asked the doctor from behind me.
“Nine-sixty-four.”
My shoulder bumped the doctors as I moved past him and jogged down the hall. The numbers beside each door declined, falling into the eight hundreds, and I whipped around to run back the other way. Each step felt like a thousand-pound weight had been anchored around each ankle, not able to get there fast enough.
I’d reached the room and didn’t slow down until I was face to face with Mia.
Tangled hair. Perfect lips. Twelve freckles.
My hand eagerly laced in hers by her side, and it was cold to the touch. Though the monitor showed a steady heartbeat, I dropped my head over her chest, needing to be reassured. The steady rhythm allowed me to breathe, and the moment that one long breath escaped, so did the tears. I held them for far too long, imprisoned and undeserving to relieve my heavy heart. “I’m so sorry … ” I cried, kissing her cheek, her temple, her forehead, her nose. My thumb smoothed across her forehead. “Open your eyes, love. I need to see your eyes.”
“Oh, she’ll be out for a while,” a nasally voice said, closing in from behind. I didn’t bother turning around, knowing the casual tone could only come from someone who dealt with situations like this on an everyday basis. My entire being stayed focus on Mia, taking notice in the way her lashes fluttered under a dream coursing through her beautiful mind.