After an hour, I’d learned Summer was older than I’d presumed, with golden hair, blue eyes, and soft features. At only four months pregnant, her loose blouse hid her tiny belly as she sipped on ginger ale. She was forthcoming, witty, and cursed like a sailor, but able to quiet Travis when no one else could. I liked her immediately and knew Mia would too.
Leigh showed, and I introduced her to Summer like the respectable gentleman I was, but I couldn’t help the way my crestfallen heart pounded to a somber beat as they shook hands. This entire day was meant for Mia and me. She should be here. Mia should’ve been the first girl I’d introduce to Summer, to Travis, to everyone.
I needed another fucking drink.
The girls took off to the loo—Summer’s third time—and Travis leaned into me with the cup brought to his lips. “The girl wants to fuck you,” he whispered now that Summer was not around. I didn’t bother meeting his eyes, keeping my gaze on the band and my hand steadying my bouncing knee. “She’s not bad to look at either. She seems young but legal. Maybe some fanny would be good for you, nothing serious. You’re on edge.”
“Grow up, Trav. My dick doesn’t get hard whenever a female is in proximity.” Not anymore. That was the medicated Ollie, the one polluted with pills and morality stripped.
Back at Dolor, I’d discovered a lot about myself—the hypersensitivity. For me, a whisper seemed like a scream—a touch, a violation—and the energy others produced, consumed me. I’d rather be back at the motel, but I had responsibilities now and people to please—a job to do. And Travis regularly reminded me. He was only trying to be a friend.
The girls returned as soon as my phone rang. It was Dex, and I excused myself and walked off from the crowd to answer.
“Scott has no other properties besides the two you’re already aware of,” Dex confirmed, which was what I’d been worried about. “It can take over eight weeks to identify the bodies from the fire, but they are confident one of them is him. We just won’t know for sure until after they complete their investigation.” A silence played out between us. “Look, Oliver. I’ll continue to look into this for you, but we have a dodgy cop who mentioned Scott is a member of the force, which you failed to mention. Now, I don’t exactly know what you got yourself into, but if I continue digging, I want you officially on my payroll. You work for me now.”
“The body in the cabin isn’t Scott’s. It can’t be. Keep digging. I’ll continue to work for you until Scott’s found, but I’m giving you one week to get me a lead—something. Check the airports, street-cams, all of Cheshire and Liverpool. If a week passes and you don’t have shit, consider this deal voided.”
“You’ll have to give me more. Why are you looking for him?”
“That’s none of your concern. Just find me Ethan Scott.”
“I’ll call back with your next assignment.”
The call disconnected, and helplessness crept along my veins until it reached my aching heart. My fingers clenched around the mobile, wanting to drive my fist into the first object my eyes came across, and before I knew it, I was inside the bar, ordering a shot of whiskey to dull the pain. For one night, I didn’t want to remember how bad it hurt. I was tired of waiting for Dex to find her for me. I was tired of waiting for her to come back to me. I was so fucking tired of feeling like this. I just wanted to get past midnight for once without the cold inside my chest, without the thoughts of our last moments replaying over and over in my head. I couldn’t accept she was dead. I couldn’t accept she left me. The only thing I could accept tonight was a shot of whiskey—or three.
Travis ushered me away from the bar and back into the garden where the music was pumping, and the crowd was increasingly rowdy. The hours passed as the rest of them laughed and danced, and I fueled up on liquor as I slowly burned in this miserable hell, invisible to the world around me.
Leigh tried to pull me up from my seat, but the only girl I’d ever dance with was Mia.
“His girl left him,” Travis incorrectly informed her. “He’s a bloody wreck.”
“She didn’t leave me,” I stated, but my voice choked on annoyance.
“What happened?” Leigh asked, taking a seat beside me and moving her hand to my thigh.
I should’ve moved it away, but my arm wouldn’t work properly. “She just …” I lazily snapped my finger, “vanished. Into thin air.”
“Well, she’s stupid for ever leaving you.”
I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes at Leigh. “She didn’t leave me.”
“She died,” Travis whispered, thinking I couldn’t hear him, but I did.
Leigh’s features changed, and she scooted her chair closer to me, too close, and moved her clammy hand over my tattooed arm. “Do you want to talk about it?” It was kind of her to ask. On any given day, I’d fancy any conversation pertaining to Mia. I could write an entire book on her eyes, her smile, her kiss, her lips, the way she made me feel, and how all the men in the world combined couldn’t compare to her strength. I admired Mia and what she was capable of.
A tear slipped from my eye, and I rolled my head back and pushed a palm down my face. The alcohol wasn’t helping, and Leigh was too fucking close for my liking.
“I’m taking you home,” she stood and attempted to pull me up along with her, “It’s getting late, and you shouldn’t drive like this.”
“I’m fine. I can walk back. It’s not far.”
“She’s right, mate. Let the girl take you back to the motel,” Travis agreed.
Could no one hear me?
The four of us walked to the car park, and before I knew it, I was inside the cabin of someone else’s vehicle as Leigh’s voice became a backdrop, asking questions, answering them herself, and going on about my poetry bringing the two of us together. I chuckled at her nonsense. Leigh was wrong. My poetry rested in the hands of a girl with a candid spirit and guarded heart.
“I feel like I’m talking too much,” she said through a sigh. Funny enough, I hadn’t been listening. Not really. Instead, my focus stayed out the passenger window, counting cars to make sure I didn’t pass out. The headlights and streetlights zoomed by, and I closed my eyes. I could pretend I was in a space shuttle on my way to the stars. Perhaps Mia was there, hanging between the sun and moon—the only threesome I’d fancy. “We’re here, anyway.”
Leigh made a turn into the motel lot, and it was odd she never did ask me where I was staying. Or perhaps she did, and I just didn’t hear. Either way, we made it, and the car came to a stop right in front of my motel room beside my station wagon. “Thanks,” I said, pulling the door handle.
I made it out of the car and in front of the door, clumsily searching for the motel key as Leigh walked up behind me. When I turned, a bottle of Hennessey magically appeared in her right hand, and she held it up at her side and shook it with a shy smile. “Thought maybe we could get to know each other a little better. What do ya say?”
“I say you have the wrong idea about me,” already drunk on alcohol, I hoped my point made it across without sounding like a world-class wanker, “I’m not looking for a quick smash. I’m engaged and in love with someone, happily.”