Ollie ran his palm up his forehead and through his hair. “Don’t let him touch you again. You let it slip, he’ll keep doing it. I’m trying hard to stay away, but if you don’t do anything about it, I will.”
There was a pause in the air between us, the kind where a conversation could go one of two ways. The pause sat there, teetering back and forth on the highest point of a mountain, and I noticed the debating across Ollie’s face. “Shit. I’m sorry … I sound like a fucking prick, yeah? I swear it’s not me staking a claim on you, it’s everything you’ve been thro—
“Ollie.” I grabbed his empty hand on his lap underneath the table and gave it a small squeeze. “It happened so fast, but there won’t be a next time …” I flashed him a small smile to try to ease his troubled mind.
But in truth, he was right.
Though Oscar had strangled me with threats, I still hadn’t done anything about it, which only made that situation worse. Hearing Ollie say he would handle Liam only made me scared of him finding out how Oscar, the ex-trainee turned security guard, was tormenting me. Certain Ollie would do something to send himself to prison. I knew I was hiding the situation only to protect him.
“Jake is expecting me at his place tonight,” I said, changing the subject. “Apparently, he’s throwing parties now—one’s that Liam attend. They cornered me, and I didn’t know what else to say. Will you go with me?”
“Bloody hell.” Ollie rolled his eyes. “You think I’m letting you walk into a den of hungry wolves? Of course, I’m going with you.” Ollie’s smile reappeared. He looked over at Zeke, who had his eyes glued to the tray in front of him before he turned back to me. “Close your eyes, love.”
Every time Ollie asked me to close my eyes, my heart skipped against my ribcage. It was the little sacred moments in crowded rooms when he couldn’t give me the affection he wanted but still tried to make it known how he felt before separating from me.
Shortly after I closed my eyes, I felt his long fingers trail up the side of my thigh before grabbing my hand from my lap, always breaking his own rule of no touching. He brought it to his lips and kissed the inside of my palm before returning my hand over my thigh. I counted to ten mentally, imagining Ollie kissing me goodbye the way he actually kissed because he was already a fantastic kisser, and I opened my eyes as soon as he turned the corner out of the mess hall.
After switching Ollie’s stained shirt out for a fresh one, I strolled into the last class late and paused under the doorway at the view before me. In front of Ollie, in my chair, was Maddie. Ollie immediately averted his head from me, reluctant to meet my gaze.
“Take your seat, Miss Jett. This class doesn’t revolve around you,” the professor hissed. My feet moved in front of me toward an empty chair on the opposite end as my insides burned to a crisp.
During the entire hour, my focus was on Maddie. The way she shook her head to move her bangs out of her eyes. The way she turned in her seat to smile up at Ollie. The way she would prop her elbow on his desk behind her, a chance to get closer. I tapped my foot vigorously, impatiently waiting to be dismissed.
“See you all next week,” the professor said, releasing us. Quick scenarios ran through my head. Do I ignore all of this and run out of here? Do I confront Ollie? How does he know her? Does he even know her?
Quickly gathering my things in my arms, I stood too fast, and all my belongings plummeted to the floor. “Shit,” I grumbled and hunched down.
Ollie’s black Chuck Taylors appeared in front of me before he bent down and searched my face. “You okay? You look pale.” He reached for my cheek but dropped his hand before he made contact.
Shaking my head, I said, “I’m fine.”
Ollie gathered my things for me and helped me off the ground, and there she was—Maddie—standing right behind Ollie with a faux surprised expression.
“Mia! Looks like I don’t need to introduce ya to the fella I told ya about,” she said sweetly, but toxins rode the wave of her voice. The boy she had told me about? I thought back to our conversations. The porridge. The cards. The secret boyfriend. My eyes raced back and forth between them as a sickness knotted in my stomach.
“You two know each other?” Ollie asked, surprised.
Maddie gently laid her fingers over his arm. “Mia and I were in the psych ward together.”
Ollie honed in on my expression. He knew me. He knew what I was thinking. “Mia, no …” He snapped his head to Maddie. “What did you tell her?”
“She told me enough,” I said, taking my books from him and walking away before he could stop me.
My eyes blurred while I made my way back to my dorm. As I locked the door behind me, my mind sprinted a million miles a second. It had been Ollie all along. Ollie was her boyfriend. Maddie’s boyfriend was Ollie. No matter which way I deciphered it, it still wasn’t making sense. My breaths ran closer together as I paced my room, running my fingers through my hair. This couldn’t be happening.
Then there was a knock at my door followed by Ollie’s urgent tone. “Mia, open the door.”
I stayed quiet.
“Mia, please …”
I shook my head violently as if he could see. The thought of his lips on hers. The thought of him inside her. It was all too much. My hand shot over my mouth to suffocate my cries as tears streamed down my face.
“Dammit, Mia. Please … let me in so I can explain.” There was pain in his tone, but I wasn’t a fool.
And eventually, Ollie left.
I curled up into a ball over the mattress and brought the sheet over my head, forcing my cries to put me to sleep. Sleep replaced Ollie as my new cure, because otherwise, the hot fury would only send my fist through something. And the only thing deserving to be on the opposite end of my fist was Ollie, but one more mistake and my ass would be on a one-way trip to the mental institution.
During dinner, Maddie sat next to Ollie with Jake, Alicia, Bria, and Isaac. She walked back into their lives as if she had never left.
“Funny thing about all this, Zeke, is I was supposed to be the sociopath.” I glanced up at Zeke as he ate his spaghetti. “But I guess Karma’s a bitch, right?” Pushing my tray off to the side, I lay across my hands and forced my focus in front of me, to Zeke. “Is this what jealousy feels like?” I sighed. “I must be mistaken because none of this is making sense. I’m jealous and overreacting. But what if I’m not, Zeke? What if this whole time he had a girlfriend and only used me as a distraction?” Zeke didn’t move—as always. “But he said he’s in love with me, so I must have it all wrong and Maddie’s fucking with my head.”
Zeke looked up at me. His small eyes dilated as he blinked a few times. I forced a smile over at him, almost wanting to reach out and put my hand over his. But I didn’t. Zeke didn’t like to be touched the majority of the time. I’d learned this the hard way.