“I’m still not sure I understand.”
“It’s okay. You will, I promise. For now, the only thing you need to do is focus.”
“Okay.” Effie was happy to let it go for now. Attempting to unravel the paradox he’d laid upon her was too confusing. Trying only served to bring the chaotic swirl of thoughts pressing in on her once more.
There was a beat of silence and then another gentle prompt. “Think of your favorite possession. An item that brings you joy or great comfort. Something special, but perhaps only to you.”
A small, intricately tooled leather journal immediately sprang to life in her mind. Her Keeper’s journal. The one Lucian had given her.
Once again, his shock and delight over her response worked through her. Instead of giving voice to it, Lucian simply said, “Good. Now place your journal into the cup.”
Visualizing the items side by side, there was no way the journal would fit in the chalice, so she imagined it shrinking until it slid inside the empty bowl.
“Very good. Now take a favorite memory and do the same.”
She was following his instruction before his words fully registered. The recollection rose unbidden, causing little flickers of heat to shimmer and spark. Lucian’s eyes were boring into hers as he told her he wanted more than just her body. Not waiting to see what he had to say about that revelation, Effie imagined the cup filling with liquid, his face reflected along its wavering surface.
“Now something less pleasant. Something you wish you could forget.”
Too many memories vied for attention at the almost apologetic order. There was Darrin’s charred body. Kieran’s hateful words. Her mother’s sneering face as she told her she was worthless. Each memory hurt, but it was a dull ache, like a splinter that had sunk so deep the skin had already grown back to cover it. For each she imagined them as drops of rain, falling out of her and back into her chalice.
She didn’t stop there.
Understanding now what she needed to do, Effie recalled every beautiful and equally hateful moment from her life, calling them to the surface so they could pour out of her and back into the vessel that was soon overflowing. With each new one she added, her body solidified, and the weight of all of the foreign thoughts and voices faded away until she was all that remained.
Whole once more, Effie opened her eyes.
Chapter 16
The first thing Effie noticed was the way the flecks in Lucian’s dark eyes glowed. They weren’t the usual bronze, but an incandescent gold that was practically blinding in its intensity. She squinted automatically, trying to shield her eyes as he stared down at her.
“H-hi,” she rasped, her voice rusty with disuse.
His entire body shuddered at the sound of her voice, and he let out a strangled groan. “Welcome back.”
She almost asked him where she’d been, but the memories came flooding back, sparing her none of their horrific details. Not what she’d become—or the soul-shattered look of Lucian’s eyes every time he’d visit her.
Pushing herself upright, Effie’s head swam with the knowledge. A quick check of her body showed that none of the previous weeks’ ugliness touched her. Her body was as whole and pure as if she’d been reborn. And in a way, she had been.
“Lucian . . .” That was all she could manage. There were too many questions demanding answers.
He lifted one of his scarred hands and brushed his fingers along her cheek. Effie could feel the velvety drag of it deep in her core. Her breath stuttered out in a rush.
“I’ll tell you everything you want to know, but first—”
She didn’t need him to finish his sentence. Effie was already leaning forward, pulling his face down to hers until their lips crashed together. Desperation fueled them, their kiss a mere echo of the all-consuming need thrumming through their veins.
Answers could wait.
She’d been trapped; a prisoner taken hostage by the darkest parts of her soul. Everything that made her whole had been stolen—her memories, her humanity, her love. But even then, even faced with the monster she’d become, Lucian hadn’t given up. Instead, he gave her back everything that had been taken from her. In the wake of that truth, nothing else mattered.
Only Lucian.
Only this.
Lucian’s hands were everywhere: hauling Effie closer and pressing her body into his, running along the length of her back, diving into her hair. She was no better; the need to feel him—all of him—making her movements frantic.
He let out a low groan as she slid her hands beneath his tunic and scraped her nails up his stomach. His muscles bunched and flexed beneath the soft touch, but it still wasn’t enough. Distantly, Effie thought it may never be enough. Not when it came to him.
Effie’s breath came in little pants, her heart thundering as he tore his lips from hers and worked them down her neck. His lips reached her scar and hovered just above the surface, his breath puffing out in warm gusts.
“Don’t . . . you . . . dare . . . stop,” she gasped, digging her fingers into his shoulders.
Lucian’s answering laugh was primal, spiraling through her and calling to everything that was female inside of her. “I couldn’t if I tried,” he whispered, tracing the edges of her ear with his tongue.
“Good,” she managed, her voice breathless.
“I just need a second,” he said, giving her another skin-tingling kiss before pulling back.
He disentangled himself, grasping the discarded blanket from the far corner of the cell. Before she could ask what the hell he was doing when they were so clearly in the middle of things, Lucian’s eyes flared bronze and the dingy cloth transformed into a pristine blue quilt. He laid it on the ground beside her before leaning down to lift her in his arms.
“Where were we?” he whispered, carefully setting her down along the velvety surface, the soft down far more comfortable than the stone floor. She had to admit it was worth the delay.
Lucian resumed kissing and licking her neck. Her eyes fell closed as his fingers ran along the edges of her shirt. His touch was whisper-soft, but it left a trail of fire in its wake. Effie pressed into his hands, craving more of the sweet burn.
As if he could read her mind, or perhaps just her body, Lucian ran his palm down her torso, electric tingles her only warning as her clothing dissolved.
“You and your tric—” she broke off in a moan as his hand returned to claim her breast. The gentle friction of his skin rubbing against her tender flesh was exactly what she’d been craving. But still it wasn’t enough.
Lucian’s mouth followed his hands, hot and demanding as he kissed down her pebbled skin. It was hard to form thoughts, let alone words, as he took her nipple into his mouth. Effie moaned, her fingers diving into his hair.
He gave a sharp tug, his teeth scraping gently against her sensitive peak. Her legs clenched together, trying to ease the growing ache he’d created as desire washed through her, but it only made her more desperate.
“Liked that, did you?” he whispered, flashing her a wicked grin.
It was hard to form words let alone a meaningful comeback. He must have read the need in her expression because Lucian’s eyes darkened and he resumed his slow exploration down her body. When his lips brushed against her center, her back arched off the blanket on a silent groan. Lucian ran his hands up her legs, the gentle scratch of his calloused skin adding a delicious friction. When he reached her thighs, he paused, and Effie reluctantly opened her eyes to find out what he was waiting for.