“Your sitch is totally different from ours.” Drew looked kind of confused.
“How?” It wasn’t, and he knew it.
“You guys are closer than brothers, and you share a room, so...”
“Jesus. What is this, grade school? In point of fact, we share an apartment basically. It’s not like we’re holed up in the same bedroom like Bert and fucking Ernie.” Kane snorted, not even bothering to hold back his laughter, while Bear struggled, and just about managed to keep a straight face. “And for that matter, you have no idea how close brothers can be, you have a fucking sister.”
“Granted. But we both have girlfriends, with no issues, yet there are ruffled feathers between you guys, because one of you has a date.” Drew sounded defensive, which made me laugh to myself.
“Nothing’s ruffled. I have a lot of shit on my mind, that’s all. And again, sticking to the actual facts, you guys have only recently settled down, and it wasn’t without drama between the two of you to get to this point. So, you need not sit in your glasshouse throwing grenades around like they won’t blow up in your face. And anyway, like I said, there is no issue here, or at least, not of the kind you’re thinking, anyway.”
“Jesus Christ, it’s the twenty-first century, and none of us are in middle-school anymore. I don’t give a fuck if you two are the gayest thing since Christmas”—Xavier joined the conversation without warning, confirming my suspicion that he had been listening in, even while giving the appearance of giving zero fucks—“but I do care about the fact that you’re sneaking around using my contacts to stalk someone, or whatever the fuck it is you’re doing, and haven’t had the decency to come talk to me about it.”
Shit. I knew it would go this way. I just fucking knew, but I was so focused on Rose that I kidded myself that I could get away with it without incurring the wrath of Xavier to get what I wanted.
The fact was, I wouldn’t have altered my behavior, either way. This thing was way bigger and more important than any shade or fucking fatwa that Xavier could throw at me, so as far as I was concerned, he could bring it on, and do his worst. I had zero fucks to give, and so much more to lose on the other side of the equation, that I really didn’t care about the outcome with the kingpin.
I could have cut the silence around the table with a Samurai sword.
“Dillon told you?” Obviously.
“You get the part where he’s practically my uncle, right? Of course he fucking told me. Not only that, but even if he hadn’t, by the simple act of using my actual brain to make reasonable deductions about the world around me, I would have guessed that you had something to do with the impromptu sound and light show in the Bio Eng. lecture on Tuesday, anyway. But none of that’s the point. The point is that you didn’t tell me, and I’m assuming that if I wasn’t bringing it up right now, you’d have no intention of telling me.”
“It’s not that I had no intention—” Actually, it was totally that I’d had no intention.
“If you lie to me again, I won’t be held responsible for my actions.” I always oscillated wildly between being in awe of Xavier, and wanting to swing my fist into his face. He was brilliant in as many ways he was endlessly frustrating.
“Seriously, did you think that just because I was screwing Rocky at the time, I would have just forgotten you’d asked?” Yep, that was exactly what I’d hoped. “My brain didn’t shoot out of the end of my dick when I came, you fucking dipshit.” Well, that was a nice image.
“I know, and honestly, I was hoping not to have to go into all the details, because it’s... a lot, so I apologize for not being straight with you from the get-go. That’s totally my bad. But while I’m putting my balls on the block, I want to say that this is not a conversation I want to have right now.” I took a breath a moment, and backtracked. “Scratch that. It’s not a conversation I’m going to have now. If that means you want to pummel me, then go ahead.” I spread my arms in a “Here I am, do your worst” gesture, and stared Xavier down.
Everyone else watched him too, ready to intervene, if needed. I noted the tic of Xavier’s jaw and the throb of the vein at his temple. That wasn’t a good sign—at all. Time slipped by so slowly, I could almost hear it ticking. One beat, two, three, four, five. Eventually Xavier rubbed at both temples with one hand in a pincer movement. “Jesus. I must be losing my fucking mind. Tomorrow. Without fail. Or consider yourself canceled.”
As much as I’d struggled to believe it before, the evidence was growing that love had mellowed Xavier. Just a little. It wasn’t like he’d had a total personality transplant, and now skipped through fields of flowers full of the joys of spring, kissing babies and helping grandmas cross the road, but I was beginning to see that Rocky had knocked the rough edges off of his inner psycho, which was a blessing, for sure.
I nodded Xavier’s way, pleased with how I’d handled the situation, and how it had panned out. I hadn’t been about to start groveling and begging for forgiveness, or airing my dirty laundry in front of the whole group, and it turned out that neither thing was needed, anyway.
Just in time to break the awkward silence that had descended, Kane looked at his watch, then looked out of the window of the bar to the pizza joint across the road.
I saw Rose at the same time he did, as she headed into the restaurant.
“There goes my date. Gotta bounce. Maybe catch up with you guys later.”
We all said our goodbyes, and then I watched as he jogged across the road and disappeared into Slice of Life.
Showtime.
Chapter 12
Rose
I felt Kane before I saw him, as the hairs on the back of my neck and arms stood to attention moments before he came into view, quickly followed by a small rash of goosebumps. I wasn’t sure if it was in a good way, or bad, but they were definitely there.
“Hi.” Somehow I still jumped a foot in the air at the sound of his voice, even though I was kind of expecting it. “Oh shit. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I’d spun around when he’d said hi, not realizing my rookie mistake until it was too late, and I was now standing way closer to him than was polite. Jesus, I was so fucking jumpy, and I hated it. He was going to think I was out of my fucking mind, and he wasn’t far wrong. There was a time in my life I’d been an ice queen in situations like this—or at least acted like one—just like “Mike” on the call had said, but I’d stopped playing that character. That person, and those days were long gone.
“Oh don’t be. It’s my bad.” I took a few steps back, and outstretched my hand. “Hi.”
He looked at it as though he was trying to work out what it was, and why he would want anything to do with it, before ignoring it completely, placing two hands on my shoulders, and pulling me toward him.
His lips were on mine before I had a chance to register what was going on. It was a few more seconds before I decided I was there for it, and kissed him back. The way my stomach flipped confirmed the answer to my question about the hairs on the back of my neck, and the goosebumps on my arms. It was definitely in a good way.