There seemed to be more he wanted to say, Adalynn could hear it in the roughness of his voice, could see it in the gleam of his eyes, but he left those words unspoken.
She shook her head and took a step back, lowering her hand from his face and pulling gently out of his hold. “I can’t have you suffering because of me.”
“That’s not your choice to make.”
“But it is. If you can tell me it won’t hurt you, that there’s no risk of harming yourself, that there will be no lasting effects on you, if you can swear that to me, I’ll agree.”
He clenched his jaw and, after a few seconds, lowered his gaze again, shoulders sagging. “I have to try, Adalynn.”
She smiled sadly. “Thank you for giving me a little more time. Goodnight, Merrick.”
Adalynn turned and walked to the door before he could say anything more. She opened it and slipped out into the hall, closing it softly behind her. Her chest was tight, and she was on the verge of breaking down into sobs, but she held them back with deep, slow breaths.
After the Sundering had taken her one chance at beating her illness, Adalynn had accepted her fate. She’d accepted that her time was limited. Had accepted that she was dying.
Why was it becoming harder to accept as time went on?
Because of Merrick.
She didn’t know how it had happened so quickly, but she had feelings for the man—feelings that ran deeper than should’ve been possible after only a week. Somewhere in her heart, she felt like she’d known him her whole life. And it was obvious that he felt something for her, too. Why else would he endure so much to help her? Why else would he harm himself to ease her suffering?
They were two lonely people drawn together in a dark, chaotic world. Why wouldn’t they seek comfort in each other? Why wouldn’t they give in to their mutual desire? It was too late not to get involved with him, and there was no reason for Adalynn to tell herself no.
She sniffled, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and clicked on the flashlight before pushing away from Merrick’s door. She forced herself down the hallway.
I’m not holding back anymore.
Adalynn didn’t know how much time she had left, but she was going to live it. She would live it with Danny, with Merrick, and take whatever happiness she could grasp. She was going to live wholeheartedly until the end.
She was going to love.
When she returned to her room, Danny was sitting on the bed, wide awake.
“Did you see him?” Danny asked.
Adalynn closed the door and approached him. “Yeah, I did.”
“And? Is he okay? Are you okay? What happened, what did he say?”
She turned off the flashlight, set it on the nightstand, and sat down beside Danny. “He’s fine. I didn’t see any blood, but he probably cleaned himself up already. I’m fine too. We…talked.”
“Come on, Addy, you gotta give me more than that!”
She turned her head to meet Danny’s gaze. “You understand Merrick won’t hurt us, right? You trust him?”
There was conflict in his eyes, which flickered with soft reflected light from the candle. He opened his mouth, hesitated, and asked, “Do you trust him?”
“Yes.” She reached out and took his hand. “And you know what I want most is for you to be safe, don’t you?”
He nodded, frowning.
“I trust Merrick, Danny. I trust him to keep you safe, to teach you, to help you grow.” She gave Danny’s hand a squeeze. “He’s not human, but he won’t hurt you. Won’t hurt us. Do you understand, Danny?”
Her brother’s eyes flared for a moment, but he nodded again. “If you trust him, then so do I.” He smiled. “I like him, anyway. He can be a hardass, but he’s actually a pretty cool guy. And he helped you.”
Adalynn returned the smile. “Yeah, he did.”
For a little while.
“And what did I say about the cussing?” she asked, arching a brow.
Danny sighed dramatically. “Don’t know why it matters.”
If their parents were still around, Danny would’ve been grounded long ago—their mother had been a wonderful, caring woman, but she wouldn’t have accepted the end of the world as a valid excuse to break her no-swearing rule. It was Adalynn’s instinct to remind Danny of that…but what would it change? Mom and Dad were gone, the world was different, and Danny was growing up much faster than he should’ve had to.
“Maybe it doesn’t,” she replied.
“Does that mean I can cuss?” he asked hopefully.
Adalynn grinned. “I’ll think about it.”
“Aww, come on.”
She laughed—probably harder than was warranted, but it felt good—and was reminded when she inhaled afterward that she still smelled like vomit. She cringed.
And Merrick was standing right in front of me, was touching me.
It was embarrassing, but it meant he’d seen her at her worst—at least the worst it could get without her dying—and still wanted her. If anything, her sickness only seemed to drive him on harder.
“I’m going to take a quick bath, okay?” Adalynn said. “We should get some sleep while it’s still dark.”
“Okay. Addy?”
“Hmm?”
He ran his hands over the top of the blanket. “Can I sleep in here with you tonight?”
Adalynn smiled and leaned toward her brother, hugging him. “Yeah. You can.”
He hugged her back tightly. “Thanks.” He sniffled. “And Addy?”
“What?”
“You do stink.”
Adalynn pulled away from Danny and laughed, shoving him down onto the bed. “Go to sleep. I’ll be back.”
Danny laughed and wriggled his way under the covers. “Love you, sis.”
“Love you too, Danny.”
Chapter Nine
That morning, Adalynn woke alone. She wandered the house, calling for Danny and Merrick and receiving no answer; the place was empty. Guessing they’d gone to the garden to continue their work from the day before, she ate a quick breakfast, tugged on her mud-caked rubber boots, and headed outside to join them.
Her hunch proved correct; Merrick and Danny were tending the crops beneath an already hot morning sun.
And the moment they saw her, they insisted she return to the house.
No amount of arguing would sway them. They were adamant that Adalynn not overwork herself so soon after an attack. Danny was on the verge of tears—such a cheat!—while Merrick threatened to tie her to the bed.
Merrick’s threat might not have sounded so bad if she knew he would’ve stayed with her in that bed. But his expression and tone had told her both that he’d intended no sensual innuendo and he wasn’t afraid to fulfill the threat. He would have carried her to her bedroom, strapped her to the bedposts, and gone back to work without a second thought.
Rightfully pissed at them, Adalynn turned and stormed back toward the house. She stomped up the steps onto the back porch, kicked off her boots—taking petty satisfaction in their heavy thumps against the wall—and continued into the kitchen through the back door. She slammed the door behind her.
Once inside, she folded her arms across her chest and seethed.