He smiled and pulled his boy in for a kiss. One of those kisses that Troy made feel so important, like nothing meant more in the world. Those words made him feel like his heart might burst right out of his chest. He’d never had a man keep his whole focus before, he hadn’t known one person could be enough—could be everything—until Troy.
His boy melted into him, holding him tight, the kiss going deeper as Troy opened.
Maybe he could be enough for Troy, too. He didn’t have as much experience, and he’d never even want to try to catch up to what Troy and Arnie had obviously had together, but he paid attention, and he loved Troy. Maybe that would make up for being young and dumb.
Their kiss was almost enough to make him believe it.
Troy kissed his jaw, his cheek, his temple. “Thank you for coming. I needed you.”
“Thank you for trusting me. I’ll do my best to live up to it, I promise.” Everything about this felt good. Not that his boy was hurting, but that Troy seemed better, that he felt like he had this. He could see he was helping.
“I believe you.” Troy let Saul hold him, support him, and it felt amazing.
He didn’t let go for a long while and it didn’t feel awkward at all. He realized after a couple of minutes that they’d started breathing together, kind of like they did in yoga practice, just breathing each other in and letting out the tension and the worry.
“How do you feel about pizza?” He asked finally, loosening his grip on his boy a little.
“Sounds perfect. What kind?” Troy straightened up, relaxing for him.
“Veggies, whatever. I’m easy.” He gave Troy a pat on the backside.
“Me too.” Troy wiggled for him, flirting just the barest bit.
He snorted. “Jesus Christ. No kidding.” Flirting, teasing, that was good stuff. He watched Troy call in the pizza, polite as anything and even managing a smile.
Having him there didn’t change certain facts, though. Carter had still been an ass, it was still Arnie’s birthday, and Troy still looked exhausted. Pizza wasn’t going to make those dark circles go away.
As soon as Troy hung up, he held out one hand and Troy came right to him. “All ordered. They’re busy. It’ll be an hour.”
An hour. Okay. Troy needed out of his head. “I’d like to sit out back, boy. It’s nice night. Bring something to kneel on.” He kissed Troy’s temple and went after his Coke.
Troy followed him, grabbing one of the yoga mats that was rolled by the door. The fairy lights were just flickering on, the sun beginning to set.
He settled outside with Troy at his feet. “I want you to settle and see if you can find a good space. If your day starts creeping in, don’t fight it, just breathe through it. You can be silent, you can talk if you like—as freely as you like—whatever. I’m here.”
“Yes, Sir.” Troy spread out the mat, moving carefully, as if he was trying to focus on every single motion.
“That’s it boy. I like how mindful you are. In fact, if you’d prefer to stretch and try to center I would be fine with that.” Why not, right? What he wanted for Troy was to settle, however it happened was fine.
“Thank you, Sir. I feel like the world has shifted under my feet.” Troy took a deep breath, arms lifting, lowering with his exhale.
“Maybe it has. Maybe the new road will be better.” Saul reached down and rubbed the top of his boy’s fuzzy head, the new hair growing in slowly. He wouldn’t make Troy keep it if the boy didn’t like it, but how would they know until it grew?
“It’s curly.” Troy pushed into the touch like a cat having a scritch.
“Is it? I can’t wait to see it. I hope it’s not a real pain, growing it in. It’s cool if you don’t like it, just so you know.”
“I grew it for ten years. I loved it. I’ll show you a picture later.” Troy blinked up at him. “Can I rest my head in your lap, Sir? Just for a minute?”
That made him smile. “Go ahead. As long as you like.”
“Thank you.” Troy moved closer, resting against him, and God, it felt good. He could feel Troy soaking up his presence, his care.
“I like this. Are you tired? You look pretty exhausted.” He hadn’t realized how much the contact was what they needed.
“Yeah. Yes, Sir. I feel like I’ve run the gauntlet today.”
“You haven’t eaten anything, that doesn’t help. We’ll get you fed and showered and then I’m putting you to bed.” He should stay again, which meant another 5:00 a.m. Uber home when Troy left for work. The early trek home was starting to wear on him a bit, but Troy could be a restless sleeper, and if he didn’t stay, the boy might not sleep at all.
“Can you stay? You can take the truck, if you want. I walk to work anyway.”
“Happy to stay.” He didn’t have anywhere to park the truck, but he wasn’t going to get into all of that now. He wanted to anyway, he wanted to keep his arms around his boy.
“Thank you.” Troy dropped a kiss on his thigh. “It’s so easy, getting used to sleeping with you.”
“I’d much rather sleep beside you than alone anyway. But tonight especially, I know you need me, and I want to stay with you.” He told himself the early morning would be worth it.
“I want you to stay too.” One of Troy’s hands wrapped around his ankle, holding on tight.
Saul wondered how Troy was going to be able to work tomorrow. Another full day with Carter on him about everything? “Do you get sick time? What happens if you can’t make it into work?”
“I don’t know.”
Wait. What? How long had Troy worked there? “Haven’t you ever missed a day?”
“No, Sir. Not once.”
That didn’t even make sense. “Why not? I mean, are you never sick? Are you worried about your job?” How do you not miss a single day of work in twenty years?
“I don’t get sick often, no, and I didn’t have a lot of reasons to skip work, I guess.”
“You might have a reason tomorrow.” If ever a sanity day was called for, tomorrow was the day. “Think about it.”
He’d never do it, but he really wished he could order the boy to stay home.
“Yes, Sir.”
Every time he stroked Troy’s soft stubble, his boy relaxed deeper against him.
“I really do like it back here. The lights and everything. Do you sit out here a lot?”
“I do. I love it. It’s my magical space. Stupid, I know.”
“Why do you say that?”
Troy snorted, cheek heating against his thigh. “I guess because having a magical hidey-hole doesn’t sound real macho?”
“Macho?” He wondered if that a Texas thing, a cowboy thing or both. “Macho isn’t high on my priority list. Magic is interesting though.”
“Yeah. You know this is my first place that I lived alone? I was fucking terrified the first few nights, and I slept out here, telling myself I was just camping.”
He tucked his hand around Troy’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. That sounded so horribly lonely. “How long did it take you to buy the place after you moved here?”
“Lord… I stayed with Geoff and Carter for nine months, give or take.” Troy looked up at him, grinned. “I swear to God, I needed to move out, but a part of me just wanted to stay.”