The baby monitor that Katie has had tucked in her pocket goes off, and we all freeze as we hear Mr. Jacobson’s voice over the monitor. He must have gone in with the babies, who went to sleep before the sun went down. “Your daddy thinks he’s smart,” he says quietly to one of the little ones. “But he’s just a jackass who thinks he knows everything. Here. Let’s pull your covers up. No, no, don’t wake up,” he says quickly as he makes a shushing noise. “Your daddy’s hoping to get laid. If you wake up, it’ll ruin all his plans.”
“Oh, jeez,” Jake says as he buries his face in his hands and growls. “Pop!” he says to no one.
“We had better get to bed,” Katie says, and she rounds up Trixie and Alex amid mild protests. Trixie’s great big dog follows her into the house, after Sam picks her kitten up from between his humongous paws where it had been sleeping. “Good night, everybody,” Katie says.
“Somebody put the fire out,” Jake says, and he drains the last drop of his beer.
“We’ll take care of it,” Aaron volunteers.
Jake, Katie, and their brood disappear into the house, shutting the door behind them.
I look over and find that Kerry-Anne has fallen asleep in her chair. Her head is cocked at an uncomfortable-looking angle and she’s out cold.
“I’ll help you carry her to bed,” I say. “You want to get the fire?” I look up at Eli, who nods.
I push myself out of Eli’s arms and stretch, the cool night air even colder against my sweat-dampened skin. We were all still damp from the earlier soaking. Katie had handed out some towels and we all got dried off by the fire as much as possible.
I watch Eli adjust his junk as he stands up and I raise my eyebrows at him. He gives me a comical grin in return, which makes me snort.
“You guys look happy,” Aaron says quietly.
I look to Eli for confirmation. He nods but says nothing, and Aaron leaves it at that.
Eli goes to fill a bucket full of water to dump on the fire, and I pick Kerry-Anne up from the chair. I groan as I lift her because it’s a lot like lifting a wet spaghetti noodle out of the pot. She’s all over the place. “She’s heavier than she looks,” I say with a grunt.
“Their weight doubles when they go to sleep,” Aaron says, covering a yawn with his hand.
I hear the sizzle of the fire as Eli dumps a bucket of water on it, and Aaron and I start toward our cabins. Sam stays with Eli to help him get another bucket of water, just to be sure the fire is out. “You guys were looking pretty cozy back there,” Aaron says as he looks at me over the top of Miles’s head. “That’s new, huh?”
“Yeah.” It’s really new. So new that I don’t want to discuss it.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, worry clouding his features.
I smile. I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to. “It’s better than it’s been in a long time.”
“Why the change?”
I shake my head. “Honestly, I don’t know,” I admit. “Maybe it’s being here. Maybe it’s the scenery. Maybe it’s us. Or…” I gesture toward him. “Maybe it’s you.”
“Me?” He lays a hand on his chest. “What do I have to do with it?”
I point a finger at him. “Don’t think I don’t know,” I say with a snort. “All the reminiscing you wanted to do? You know you had a reason.”
“Did it work?” he asks, leaning toward me a little.
“Maybe.”
“Just maybe?” He makes a clucking sound with his tongue. “I’m losing my touch.”
“Thank you,” I say quietly.
“You’re welcome, you big dummy,” he says, which makes me laugh.
We walk into his cabin and he goes to change Miles who is just waking up. I take Kerry-Anne to her room and gently lay her on her bed. I slide her flip-flops from her feet and pull the covers up over her. “Mommy?” she says as she blinks her eyes open.
I sit down on the edge of her bed. “No, sweetheart, it’s just me.”
“Oh.” She looks a little let down, but then she snuggles deeper into her covers and her mouth falls open, and I know she’s asleep. “Good night, sweet girl,” I say as I brush her hair back from her face. I bend and kiss her cheek, taking in the scent of lavender shampoo and campfire smoke.
“You were meant to be a mom,” Aaron says from the doorway.
A jolt of longing hits me right in the heart. “Well, apparently not,” I say flippantly, although that hurt more than a little.
“No, Bess,” he says. “You were. You’ll see.”
My eyes start to sting, and I blink hard to push the tears back.
As I walk past him, he grabs me in a hug and he holds on tight. He doesn’t break his hold on me until Sam walks in. “’Night,” I say to her as I walk out.
I find Eli in the bathroom brushing his teeth, with Sam’s kitten circling his feet. “Tonight was fun,” he says over a mouthful of foam.
“Very.” I brush my teeth too.
“Everybody go to sleep okay?” he asks after he rinses.
“Mm-hmm. Miles was just waking up, but I’m betting he’ll go to sleep after a bottle.”
“Look at you, becoming all baby savvy,” he teases.
I turn my back to him and shuck out of my shorts and pull my t-shirt over my head. I hear his quick intake of breath. “What?” I ask from over my shoulder.
“Nothing,” he says with a smile. His eyes do a slow slide up and down my body, and I can feel his gaze as it moves.
“Can I wear one of your shirts?” I open his drawer without even waiting for an answer and riffle through it.
He says nothing, but I can hear him moving around behind me as he gets into bed.
I drag a clean t-shirt over my head and take my bra off under it, then hang it over the bedpost. He stares at the wispy bit of fabric. “What?”
“I’ve missed having your bra hanging there,” he says simply.
“Yeah, well, now it is,” I reply. Then I turn down the covers and get into bed with him. He reaches over and turns out the bedside lamp, and darkness falls on the room. I roll into him, and I nuzzle my nose against the soft fabric of his t-shirt. “So, do you want to…” I let my voice trail off as my hand starts to snake down his stomach.
He grabs my hand. “Nuh uh,” he says with a shake of his head. He heaves out a deep sigh. “I’m not ready.” He waits a beat. “Is that okay with you?”
I rest my chin on his chest and look at his face in the darkness. I can see him clearly in the moonlight that’s coming in through the window. “What do you mean, not ready?”
“I mean I’m not ready. This feels new and great, but it’s not new and it might not be great. And I want some time to get used to it before we go any farther.”
I sit up. “So you’re really turning down sex?”
“Yep.”
I reach up and touch his forehead playfully. “Do you have a fever? Should I rush you to the hospital?”
He laughs and grabs my hand and holds it tight against his chest. “If we start this thing and then you lock the door on me again, you’re going to crush me, Bess. Absolutely crush me.” He squeezes my hand. “I love what we’re doing, but I don’t want to rush it.” He stares at me in the dark. “Okay?”