He scratches his head. “Why does she need a bar of chocolate?”
“And get some teen-size supplies.” I draw air quotes around that word too.
“Wait. They come in sizes?”
I fight not to roll my eyes. “They come in sizes. Get the low flow.”
“Low flow?” He suddenly looks like he’s going to puke.
Eli steps out onto the porch. “Why is Sam locked in the bathroom?” he asks.
“Oh, jeez.” I stand up and take Miles with me. “I’ll keep this one.” I jerk my thumb toward the house. “And those other two kids you created, I’ll watch them too. You take Eli with you. Two brains are better than one. Particularly when both are male and both of them are shopping for feminine hygiene products.”
“Where are we going?” Eli asks. He looks from me to Aaron and back again.
“To buy chocolate bars,” Aaron says, his voice droll and lifeless.
Eli still looks confused. “Why are we going to get chocolate bars?”
“Because I’m about to start my period and I want a chocolate bar.” I glare at both of them, but it’s all I can do not to laugh because Aaron suddenly looks horrified.
“Oh, okay,” Eli chirps. “You ready?” He pats his pockets looking for his keys. When he finds them, he walks toward the car.
“Do we really need to get chocolate bars, or are you fucking with me?” Aaron asks.
“Trust me, Aaron. Women do not fuck around about periods or chocolate bars.” I stare hard at him, and if I had laser beams in my eyes, he’d be dead right now. Or at least seriously wounded. Well, it was his turn.
I let myself into the house and walk toward the bathroom, where I can hear the sound of water running in the sink. I knock softly on the door.
“Go away, Dad!” Sam yells.
“It’s me, Sam,” I call through the crack in the door. “It’s just me and Miles. I sent your dad on an errand. Can I come in?”
She cracks the door and I can see her dark-stained panties in the sink where she had apparently been scrubbing them. “Is he really gone?” she asks. She looks around behind me.
“He’s really gone.” I walk in, still holding Miles in my arms, and close the door behind me. “So, what’s up?” I ask as I sit down on the edge of the tub and rest Miles on my knees.
“My dad is completely useless in a crisis,” she says, and she blows a lock of hair from her forehead with one well-placed breath. “Utterly and completely useless,” she says for emphasis.
“So you got your period, huh?”
She spins to look at me, a look of horror on her face. “Did he tell you?”
I nod toward the panties in the sink. “I kind of figured it out.”
“Oh.” Some of the anger leaks out of her and her shoulders fall back into their normal place. “Yeah, I got my period.”
“Did your dad get what you need for it?” I ask. I don’t go into a ton of detail.
“He came back with pads and tampons, but I don’t want to use the tampons yet.” She shudders lightly.
“Well, when you’re ready, you’ll have them.” Miles kicks his feet, which makes me laugh and encourage him more. “So you figured out how to use them?” I pretend like I’m not paying much attention to her, but in reality she has all my attention.
“It’s not rocket science,” she says quietly. She wiggles in place. “Although it does feel a little crooked.”
“You can try for a straighter one when you switch to a new one.”
“I ruined my favorite panties.” She starts to scrub again.
“So now you have period panties. Every woman has period panties. They’re the ones with the stains we can’t get out, and we don’t care because we know they’re only going to get more stains.”
“Do you have period panties?” she asks quietly.
“Many, many pairs,” I say flippantly. “Just put those to the side of your underwear drawer and you can pull them out when you need them.”
“Oh, okay.” She stops her frantic scrubbing.
A knock sounds on the door. “Sam,” Aaron calls out.
“Go away, Dad!” she yells back. “God, he’s insufferable,” she mutters.
I bite back my grin and go to the door, open it a crack, and step out. I hand Miles to Aaron and take the bag he’s holding. I glance between Aaron and Eli. “Everything go okay at the store?”
“Fine,” they both say at the same time. I can only imagine the chaos that was the two of them shopping for low flow sanitary supplies.
I open the bag and glance inside. “Will one of you go to our cabin and get my pink nail polish?” I look from one to the other and back.
“I’ll go,” Eli says, and he looks grateful that he gets to leave.
“Is she okay?” Aaron asks me.
“She’s fine.” I lay a hand on his arm. “It’s just new and confusing, Aaron,” I say calmly. “And she doesn’t understand it any better than you do.” I cover my mouth to hold in my laugh.
“You suck so bad, Bess,” he says, but he starts to grin, too.
I point toward the bathroom. “I’m going back in there.”
“I hope you survive. I through she was going to snap my head off and throw it out the window.”
I laugh. “I’ll be fine.”
I open the door and step back into the room. She’s still scrubbing, but she looks pretty resigned to the fact that her panties are not going to come clean. “I sent your dad and Eli for supplies,” I say.
She gasps “You told Eli?”
“No, no,” I rush to say. “I told them it was for me.” It’s not a total lie, so I don’t feel guilty about it.
She arches one brow and she looks so much like Lynda that it’s like going back in time. “What’s wrong?” she suddenly asks.
I make a curve with my index finger over my eye and lift it skyward. “When you did that thing with your eyebrow, you looked just like your mother.”
“Thank you,” she says quietly.
“You’re welcome.” I riffle through the bag and pull out the heating pad. “You might or might not need this.” She takes it from me. I open the bottle of junior strength pain relievers that Aaron got and shake two into her hand. She takes them with a little water from the faucet. I peer into the bag again and grin. “Your dad is an overachiever,” I say. Then I hold up the chocolate bar. They bought four.
I sit down on the edge of the tub, hand her a bar of chocolate, and open a bar for myself. She stares down at the chocolate bar. “What’s this for?”
“It’s just a treat.”
“Why do you get one?”
I lay my hand on my stomach. “I’m about to get my period too,” I say. I’m not, but it seems fitting. I take a bite of the chocolate bar and point to the bag. “There are pads and tampons in there that might be better suited for you.”
“Oh, okay.” She glances toward the bag, but she doesn’t look in it.
A knock sounds on the door and I get up, crack it open, and peer out to find Aaron standing there with my bottle of nail polish. I hold my hand out for it. “What are you guys doing?” he asks.