"I'm sorry if I took it too far," he said eventually.
Yellowish orange street lights flashed by them outside as the car turned onto another street.
"I could feel you need me, and I could not allow you to face them alone any longer," his hands stroked through her hair, and she closed her eyes as his voice rumbled in his chest. "I know what it feels like to be trapped—to be powerless. For a long time after I was captured, I tried to close my eyes to the outside world. To stubbornly refuse to see as life passed right before my eyes but out of my grasp. To not see or hear any of it, but it was impossible, that boy—my captor would not allow it."
Nadira's heart clenched as warmth and calm returned slowly back to her body, and she listened with held breath for him to continue.
"He paraded my power as if it were his own flaunting my gifts to the world and wreaking havoc. I wanted him to die. I watched, praying that his foolishness would get him killed while at the same time protecting him from any harm. How could I let him die? I would be signing my own sentence for eternity."
Nadira glanced up at him as she heard the breathless pain in his voice. With his head turned, Idrak did not meet her gaze as he stared out the window victim to his memories as he recounted the past. "I had never cried before that moment," he confessed. "I never begged and cursed the creator's name as I did then."
Nadira wrapped her arms tighter around his waist and held onto him, willing herself with all of her strength not to cry.
As if sensing her pain at his words he turned and gave her a soft smile and combed his black claws into her hair. Climbing onto his lap, Nadira stayed silent as her knees settled on either side of him, and their chests touched. Wrapping his hands around her hips, he drew her in closer and rested his head against her shoulder.
"I was utterly alone until you."
Chapter 14
After three days, Nadira finally got a call from her sister, confirming that she made it to the school and settled into her room. It started off with a litany of complaints about how far the school was from any decent city and how most of the women there seemed to be stuck up snobs. Eventually, after an hour of venting, the younger girl confessed her worries. Even so far away and her divorce papers signed, one signature magically forged of course, Nazma feared Kedar and his family would somehow try to take her back. The need to know what had happened to her sister in her brief marriage to Kedar ate Nadira alive, but she couldn’t bring herself to press her sister about it. Each time she hedged around the question, she could feel her sister tense on the other end of the line. Grateful that she was safe, Nadira didn’t press the topic any further and promised her that she would send her plenty of clothes and other necessities. For the first time in a long time, Nazma had thanked her and promised she would call again soon.
Hanging up with her sister, Nadira smiled. She was happy for Nazma, she could only pray that everything worked out for her. Looking up to the window beside her, Nadira pulled her legs tightly beneath herself as she sat in the corner of the couch. It was dreary outside. Earlier when she woke up, it had been raining, leaving the concrete tiles around the pool wet and the sky overcast. Idrak was gone, he told her that morning he was curious if there were any remains of an Ottoman battle he helped wage. Nadira knew the real truth though, she knew the arrogant demon just wanted to see if there were any inaccuracies in the archeologist's findings so he could gloat and send a scathing letter on just how wrong they were and why. A little habit that was starting to become more than a hobby for the djinn.
Actually, she was happy that he was gone. It was getting harder and harder to put on a convincing smile in front of the observant djinn when all she could think about was that he might be trying to hurt her.
She had come up with the startling thought early that morning when she woke up again from the all too very real dream. Warm hands had brushed over her body with a gentleness that belied the claws that followed and how they scratched unknown symbols into her skin. When she woke with a start, she had screwed her eyes shut tight to keep from crying. He was marking her, and though she could not see them after what felt like an hour of examination in front of the full-length mirror, she knew he was. His once smooth skin was completely marred by the ancient text scrawled across his skin, symbols he refused to acknowledge or discuss, no matter how many times she asked.
Why wouldn’t he tell her what they were? Why wait until she was asleep to claw at her skin? If he could not—would not—tell her then it must be something she would disapprove of or maybe worse, something that would scare her. With each turn in her thoughts, her fear grew, and the bile rose in her throat. What if this was all just a lie? A lie that was too good to be true. Her worst fears were coming back to the surface, and now there was nothing to hold onto, nothing to shield her so that logic could safely dispel them.
Standing up, Nadira began to pace restlessly. Glancing out the window, she was startled to see the sky much darker than before. Turning her wrist, she did a double-take at the time, she had lost a few hours sitting here lost in her fear. Idrak would be home soon. Her stomach knotted at the thought. Shaking her head, she ran an agitated hand through her wavy black hair as she tapped her ballerina slipper anxiously on the carpet. She needed time to think this through, time away from the djinn. She could feel his perceptive eyes hone in on her as she gave him a restrained kiss before he left, but he said nothing and blinked away. He would not let that go twice. Inevitably he would reach for her again tonight and undoubtedly call out any hesitation on her part.
Rushing up the stairs, Nadira grabbed her long crocheted sweater and the stone necklace from her closet. Slipping the stone around her neck, she went downstairs and out into the backyard, ignoring the drizzle of falling rain. She just needed time she reasoned to herself at the sudden assault of guilt. Tonight, she would tell Idrak about the stone, but she would demand he tell her about the marks in return. No more dancing around the topic and backing off, tonight she would get answers.
Stepping onto the soaked patio, she paused at the sight of the open gate. She had planned on sitting quietly in the corner of the yard invisible to Idrak as she thought of exactly what to say but as she watched the gate to the beach sway lightly in the increasing wind, she stepped forward. Glancing at the once welded shut lock, she noted that it looked as if it had never been touched, just like a simple open gate lock.
Taking the narrow winding steps slowly, Nadira hugged her sweater near her as the wind began to whip her hair about her face. With each step, it seemed the storm grew stronger until she found herself pausing near the bottom, only steps away from the sand, wondering if she should go on. Worriedly, she turned and stared up at the stair-stepped pathway that led up to their house. She couldn't go back now, not until she just had a bit more time to herself to think what she was going to say. Making her decision, she plunged ahead, her shoes sinking into the wet sand.
With each step forward near the water's lapping edge, the storm seemed to calm. Wind still whipped at her hair, but an eerie silence that seemed misplaced settled over her until all she could hear was the sound of the waves.