Should Luke actually somehow make his way to her table, then maybe he wouldn’t even notice her. Maybe he’d just see an ocean of faces and not even distinguish hers from the others.
With every intense breath, Nikki’s chest rose and fell like the waves of a great ocean storm. And then the moment arrived.
“Hey there, folks. Is there anything I can get you?” Luke’s confident and welcoming voice asked Nikki’s table.
He had turned from standing right behind her to now standing so close at Nikki’s side that the edge of her blouse brushed his apron. She felt electricity pulsing through her body, just thinking that the man she’d spent so much time dwelling on was now right at her side.
But did he notice her? And more importantly, did he know who she was? She couldn’t help but take a quick glance up and to her right to see if she could discover the answers to those questions racing through her mind.
There he was. The hazel-blue eyes. The boyish but well-kept brown hair which was swept to the side in messiness, mirroring how busy he had been that evening. The curves of his face exuded handsomeness, being delicately chiseled but also worn with the stresses of his job. Nikki understood this. She often felt like there were two of her – one which was neatly cleaned up and presented twice a week on her dates, and the other a manifestation of how much she really was trying to just hold things together during her career. Frequently, she felt that the more beautiful first side of her was often concealed by the second side which everyday life had managed to quickly bury.
She saw the same thing in Luke in the few seconds that she caught a glimpse of him at her side. He was undeniably attractive – she’d noticed his striking handsomeness immediately when they sat at their dinner date. That same handsome Luke was still the man she saw next to her, only now she was seeing him during everyday life. And Nikki had to be honest with herself - the down-to-earth attractiveness of his everyday self was even more captivating than he was on their date a couple weeks ago. It was like she was getting a glimpse of his real self instead of the façade which everyone presents on a first date. His everyday attractiveness was impulsively magnetic to her.
But then Nikki had to instantly stop herself from being swept away in thought when Luke’s eyes suddenly shifted down to her. Nikki abruptly looked away, trying to avoid any eye contact. She knew that her heartbeat was probably audible, signaling that she was still feeling nervous by the sudden turn of events this evening in seeing Luke.
Of course she wanted to talk with him. But for some surprising reason, she still felt nervous – leaving her compelled to continue to dodge the situation.
And it worked. Luke soon left her table without signaling anything towards her. The brief moment of catching each other’s eyes didn’t seem to alarm him. This left Nikki perplexed. It may have been what she was hoping for in the moment, but it also really wasn’t. The dreamer inside of her hoped that Luke would notice her, sweep her off her feet, and bring an end to her questions – both in regard to their prior date and to her quest for the lifetime of love which she sought. In the fleeting moment that their eyes connected, she’d seen the same glimmer of light in his look which she’d seen on their brief date, and that light ignited the dreamer inside of her.
But she knew it was just a dream and nothing more, just like her goal to one day own her own company as a dessert chef. To her, dreams weren’t bad things. They motivated her and gave her hope. And that hope often led to purpose and the ability to combat daily life. Besides, people fell in love. Love wasn’t all a dream. Even if her career goal seemed unrealistic, at least her goal to find love felt more plausible.
“So, what’s with you and him?” Nikki was surprised to hear an elderly woman ask her. Nikki turned to look at the elderly woman sitting right next to her, who woman looked like she was close to ninety years old. The old woman was turned giving her full attention to Nikki with a sweet smile and squinting eyes.
“Who?” Nikki pretended to be naïve. But it wasn’t working with the woman.
“Oh, don’t play games with me. I’m much too old for that.” The woman lifted her wrinkled finger to point at the backside of Luke, who was now tending to another table several feet away. “You know him, don’t you?”
Nikki just bashfully nodded. She was sure her face had blushed red. There was no way to hold in what felt to her like a secret she’d hoped to keep to herself.
“Well, what is it?” The elderly woman drew a little closer. Her eyes widened as a large smile burst onto her face. With an overly-ecstatic tone, she exclaimed to Nikki: “It’s love, isn’t it?”
Nikki chuckled. She’d dreamt of being in love, but actually hearing someone guess that she was in love humored her for some reason. Nikki had thought she’d been in love before, even though that relationship had devolved into abuse. So, she was no stranger to the idea of being in love. She just honestly didn’t know how to react at the old woman’s directness. Being coy, Nikki just tried to brush off the woman’s intense interest in her life.
“No, just nervousness. He’s a cute guy no doubt.”
“Honey,” the elderly woman was now giving Nikki advice. “If there’s one thing my old age has taught me, it’s that nervousness is your mind just saying, ‘what if?’ And wondering ‘what if’ is the first step to love.” Nikki chuckled again. But before she could think of some small talk to respond with, the woman’s lingering finger which had been pointed at Luke now leaned forward and poked Nikki in the shoulder. “Now, go talk to him. You’re a catch, I can tell. Don’t pass by what may become the most important moment of your life. Otherwise, you may be sitting at a wedding one day like me, still wondering ‘what if.’ Besides, he’s a nice enough guy – I’m sure of it.”
The woman’s words were poignant, leaving Nikki with the spark needed to at least get up from the table. She turned to thank the elderly woman. But by then, the woman was focused on giving advice to the person sitting on her other side.
Nikki looked back to Luke, whose attention was fixed on serving a table even farther away now. She reached up to tie her apron again behind her back. In that moment, she returned from trying to be her first, well-kept self, to again be back to her everyday self. Strands of her blonde hair had fallen down to the sides of her cheeks, unkept from the hustle of her job. She tried to straighten them back, but knew that, at this point in the night, it was useless. She looked down at her dirty apron and depressingly-normal looking shoes. There was nothing remarkable about her appearance in this moment. But, she knew, this was her chance to catch up with him.
Fate, right? She thought to herself. If fate did exist, maybe – just maybe – this was it, giving her a chance.
She paced slowly, overcoming her nervousness to approach him. Just like the elderly lady said, nervousness really would have to be the first step on her dreamt-about path toward love. Nikki knew she had to overcome her nerves. And she chose to overcome them in this very moment, even though that nervousness was a new and unexpected feeling for her.
She took step after step toward Luke, proud of herself for deciding to finally give a man a second chance.
But then it happened. It was out of her control. There was nothing she could do. Luke’s boss yelled for him from the entryway and was waving for Luke to quickly come to him. Luke looked up, his faced dropped in despair, before immediately and professionally removing himself out into the hallway.