Jean managed to grin, but doing so sent her into a coughing fit. Luke and Nikki both went to sit at her bedside. For all the other interactions, Luke had taken the lead with conversation – leaving Nikki to watch and admire him before joining in. But this time was different. Nikki nearly leapt over to the bedside wanting to say hi to the woman.
“I met you at the wedding dinner a few weeks ago…” Nikki said, trailing off, still reacting in shock.
“Oh, why – yes, it is you. I remember…” Jean said. But her reaction had been cut short by her need to take in oxygen again.
“… so, when you told me to go after the server, you knew him? You knew it was Luke?”
A large smile overcame Jean – almost as if a joke she’d set in motion weeks ago had finally come to fruition. Her smile said it all. Jean knew then that it was Luke. Instead of directly answering the question, Jean found the strength between gasps for oxygen to say: “Normally if a girl was trying to move in on my man, I’d make up lies to keep him to myself.” With another gasp of oxygen came a very stark change in the tone of her statement from joking to dire: “But, honey – I don’t think I have enough time left to make it worthwhile for him.”
A tear began welling up in Nikki’s eye as she watched Jean struggle for a breath. Nikki knew that Jean was right about not having much time left. Her breaths in had even appeared to grow weaker in just the short moment that they’d been interacting. But the fact that these last couple of weeks seemed so short to Nikki radiated with the realization that life itself is a shorter journey in hindsight than it seems in the moment. For that reason, Nikki sat listening to the old woman, soaking up any words of wisdom Jean might have – not just because Nikki felt the need to find purpose in whatever moments she may have left in life, but because she knew that this conversation may very well be Jean’s last words in this life.
“Do you remember what I said last week, honey?” Jean asked her in between the chaotic attempts to fill her lungs with oxygen. Nikki did, but wasn’t given the chance to say so before Jean continued her last words of wisdom. “Don’t pass by what may become the most important moment of your life. Otherwise, you may be lying in a bed one day, still wondering ‘what if.’ But I’m not - because I took the leap many years ago and have never regretted it since. I’ve enjoyed every moment of the ride, and hope that you will too.”
The words lingered in the air as only the steady mechanical stream of oxygen made any noise. Nikki looked at Jean, tears now streaming from Nikki’s eyes like waterfalls. Nikki couldn’t agree more, and knew that this elderly woman had expressed in just a few sentences exactly the reason why she’d worked so hard this last year to find love. It wasn’t just love Nikki was searching for – it was purpose. And here, in this retirement home, Nikki was surprised to have found that purpose in serving those who had so much need. Interestingly, it was those in need who had given her so much more in return.
“Jean,” Luke finally said something. But whereas his interactions with the other tenants were more reassuring and jovial, his words to Jean were more of a pleading. Nikki turned to see that a tear had flowed down his cheek as he spoke, his voice cracking with his question: “Jean, when you see her – when you see grandma – will you tell her that Luke loves her?”
The contrast in Jean’s demeanor showed her aged wisdom. She knew what mattered most in life. She was now as serious as she could be, instead of cracking a joke in return. Nikki didn’t know much at all about the woman, but this moment at her end signaled that she’d led a deeply meaningful life.
“My boy, it would be my honor, even though I know she’s here now hearing you say it.”
Those were Jean’s last words. The sound of the oxygen tank persisted, but there were no longer the reciprocating sounds of the woman struggling to inhale them. Though her physical life had ended, the words she spoke still seemed to give an everlasting life.
Nikki shot a quick look of loss to Luke on her right side. She didn’t know the woman nearly as well as him. Still, she couldn’t help but burst out in tears, sobbing into Luke’s shoulder. He held her, comforting her as a few tears fell down his own cheeks. After a still moment, Luke reached for the call button to alert the nurses.
Luke took hold of Nikki’s hand and exited Jean’s room at the end of the hallway, just as nurses came in to tend to Jean.
“How do you do it?” Nikki asked, now looking up at him.
“The key,” he answered, “is to never get numb to the feeling of losing someone. Each person is so unique and has so much purpose. It’s easy to see each time as a great loss from this world, but really – the brief moments we have together here are the real gift that we each have. Life is so full of purpose, just waiting to be recognized.”
Nikki couldn’t believe the words she was hearing from this great man next to her. She’d never met anyone with such a grounded sense of purpose and selflessness – a magnificent sense of worth and meaning which she wanted to hold onto like a treasure. Instead, she did something else.
She leaned in and kissed his forehead. She wanted to kiss him passionately on the lips, but was careful to honor his request from earlier in the night to take their physical intimacy slowly. But it was because of his request that she was surprised to feel him move his head up and kiss her on the lips. The warmth of his breath, and the softness of his touch on her lips, filled her entire being with a fulfilling emotion that she’d never felt before. It wasn’t just a kiss. She’d kissed many guys in the past, and each one felt like a touch of two physical bodies. No, this kiss with Luke was different. It was purposeful.
Whether the kiss lingered on for a few seconds or minutes, Nikki lost track. Eventually, Luke broke the kiss by placing his hand on Nikki’s cheek. “Thanks for coming tonight,” he said.
“I had a magnificent time.”
“Oh, it’s not over yet … if that’s alright with you.”
“I’m not sure I ever want this night to end, Luke.”
“Then I have one more thing to show you.”
The couple turned a corner to where a metal ladder led up to a door in the ceiling.
Nikki recognized that their conversation much of the night had been heavy-weighted and serious. Luke had done a great job of trying to find quick moments to interject humor, but Nikki felt like she should take the lead in trying to not always be so serious as she followed Luke up some mysterious ladder.
“Luke, can I be honest?”
“Always.”
“I think Sunset is a terrible name for a retirement home. I mean – could they have come up with a more depressing name?”
This comment made Luke stop on the ladder and look down at his date. He cracked a large smile while laughing. “I could see that…” Nikki was about to say something else to try and lighten the mood up, but felt like she shouldn’t when she saw what Luke was doing. Luke reached up and opened a hatch door, revealing an access to the roof.
He jumped up on top of the roof and then bent down through the skylight door to grab Nikki’s hand. As she took hold of it to climb out into the night air, the tone in Luke’s voice wasn’t serious – it was more radiant and free. “But to be honest,” he said, “I never thought it was called Sunset for any other reason than the fact that its roof led to the most amazing place to watch a sunset … and to gaze at the sky afterwards.”