It took only a moment for his face to appear on-screen, and the mere sight of him made my eyes fill with tears. “Hey, Dad.”
His eyes brightened. “Hello, Lis.” But as he scanned my face, the smile fell away. “What’s wrong?”
“I changed someone.” I held back the tears, but it was a battle and nearly cost me the rest of my strength.
My father’s expression remained perfectly blank. He was good at that—masking his emotions until he’d heard all the facts, or reached his decision, or considered his next steps. “Tell me what happened.”
I told him about the trip, the animals, Loren’s death and the tracks we’d found, the attack on the bonfire. And Carlie, pale and bleeding on the ground.
“She’d gone gray, and her heart was . . . a whisper. I couldn’t stanch the wound, so I did the only thing I could think of.”
“And the circle turns,” he murmured. “She’s all right?”
“For now. We’ll see what happens in a few days. She’s with Ronan, although he’s not happy about bearing that burden. He’s also angry I changed her without his consent or the clan’s consent. He’s worried at least in part about the human response, I think. Suggested it would have been smarter to let her die and save his coven the trouble. One life for the many.”
“That’s very old-fashioned,” he said. “But he’s not the only vampire who shares that attitude.”
I nodded, was suddenly so tired, and not just because the sun was probably tracing the horizon.
“Do you want me to tell you that you did the right thing?”
So much, I thought. So much it made my chest ache. “Yes.”
“You did the right thing,” he said, his answer coming quickly. “But that doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences. And those can be the hardest consequences to bear—the ones we face because we’ve done the right thing, the hard thing.”
“I know,” I said.
My father nodded. “After I changed her, your mother was angry at me for a very long time. She had lived her entire life under the thumb of her parents. When she’d gone to college, then graduate school, she’d gained some independence. Particularly when she came back to Chicago. For the first time, she was able to live in her town on her own terms. And I ruined that for her. Took away her independence, at least as far as she saw it.”
“You saved her life,” I said, and knew immediately he’d led me right to that statement, and I’d followed right along.
“I did,” he said. “But I also took something away. Both of those things are true. And, frankly, it took me too long to acknowledge my part in it. To understand what she’d lost. It had been a long time since I’d been human, since I’d felt the threat of time in quite the same way. You’re younger, and you’d understand that better than a four-hundred-year-old vampire. That’s one of your strengths.”
I nodded, but didn’t feel especially strong right now. Not when adrenaline had given way to self-doubt. “I know I’ve hurt Carlie, even if I didn’t mean to. I’ve changed her life. And the thought that she might hate me for doing it bothers me.”
“It’s a complex situation, with a lot of gray and not much black-and-white.” A corner of his mouth lifted. “You do generally prefer things to be black-and-white.”
“It’s easier to know whether you’ve done the right thing—or someone else has—when it’s black-and-white.”
“I won’t argue the point,” he said. “But we grow more when the decisions are harder. Carlie might be angry at you. And she’s entitled to her feelings. They may be logical, they may be irrational, but she’s entitled to them. But that doesn’t change what you did or why you did it.
“She’ll not be bound to you,” he added. “Not if she’s going to be fed solely by Ronan during the rest of the process. But you began the process, so you’ll do her the honor of staying nearby and, if she’ll see you, of speaking to her about it. And if she agrees to talk to you, you take responsibility for your actions. Respect your choice, the decision that had to be made. And respect the change you’ve wrought to her life.”
I nodded. “You’re right.”
“In case it helps—even if your mother had decided never to speak to me again, had decided to loathe me for the rest of her immortal life, I’d have done the same thing. The world would be less without her. Same goes for you. In the more immediate sense, let’s discuss your and Connor’s current situation.”
A flush rose hot on my cheeks.
“Are you in danger?” he asked before I could mutter out a response to the relationship question I was afraid he was going to ask.
“The clan will probably want to speak to us tomorrow, and they’re going to have plenty to say. The creatures were pretty seriously wounded, so I imagine they’re licking their wounds. Connor’s keeping an eye out. I don’t suppose you have any idea what they are?”
“None,” he said. “Connor’s theory—that they’re clan members affected by magic—seems entirely logical. But I don’t know of any shifters who’ve taken that shape before or magic that would do it. I could ask your mother to reach out to Mallory.”
The thought of involving Lulu’s mom made me uncomfortable, like I was going around Lulu. “That’s okay. I’m going to give Theo an update. The OMB has connections to the Order.” The Order was the mandatory union for sorcerers and sorceresses.
He nodded. “You’ll let me know if you need anything—backup or otherwise.”
Whatever else fell apart, I could rely on my father, on my family. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to tell him how much that meant to me.
“I will.”
“Get some sleep,” he said. “You’ll have a clearer eye tomorrow. And whatever happens, the House is here, and us with it.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too. Go do the right thing.”
We ended the call, and I looked down at the blank screen in my hand. I felt better about what had gone down tonight, and appreciated my father’s last message.
Go do the right thing.
I’d give myself what was left of night to wrestle with the battle, the fear, the weight of what I’d done. But tomorrow, it was time to think about Carlie, and how I could help her. Starting, first off, with finding the creatures that had hurt her and making sure they didn’t hurt anyone else.
I sent Theo a rambling message, explaining what had happened, what we’d seen, what I’d done. I asked him about magic, and told him he could talk to me or my father when the sun fell again. And because it was escapist and important to him and made me feel better, I told him I hoped he’d been able to snag his comic.