Kind regards,
Monty
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject: Must try harder
January 17, 5:43 p.m.
It isn’t quantity over quality, Red. You’re still holding out on me. You promised you wouldn’t do that anymore, remember? You really aren’t half bad. You should have more confidence. So quit with all the description and give me more dialogue already.
I’m going to need another meet-cute on my desk by the end of the week.
E
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject: Simon—URGENT
January 18, 11:32 a.m.
Dear Evelyn,
I have been on the phone to Simon for two hours now. I am literally typing this while he’s still talking. He only has one more scene to write and he’s having some kind of existential crisis.
What do I do, Evelyn?
He’s cataloging every negative comment he’s ever received, and he hasn’t made it through his high-school years.
Help.
Kind regards,
Monty
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL: The Trip
January 19, 5:15 p.m.
Is it really too hard for you to say “please,” Ezra?
Please find attached the meet-cute from The Lady Eve. Not a rom-com, but it has a meet-cute that demanded to be honored. Though I’m not sure that’s exactly what I did. It did enable me to try some of London’s finest restaurants. What a pity I won’t be allowed back to most of them.
It turns out that if you’re going to try to trip someone in a restaurant, you need to stick your foot out quite far. I had my whole leg in the aisle before I got a man to trip over it. It makes it much harder to explain afterward, I can tell you.
In hindsight, I wish I’d chosen a restaurant without tablecloths. Because when people fall, they tend to grab everything they can on their way down. It was like one of those tablecloth tricks, except instead of all the food staying where it is, it ends up on the magician, who’s just landed face-first in a seafood risotto.
I’ve documented every attempt I made at this meet-cute. The report is mainly dialogue. I trust it’s more to your liking.
Best,
Evie
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject: PLEASE
January 20, 1:12 a.m.
Yes, better. More like this, please. And now, please.
Ex
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject line: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL: The Lift (AKA bonus meet-cute)
January 22, 6:34 p.m.
Please find attached the 500 Days of Summer Lift meet-cute.
This took most of the day, three department stores, and approximately 57 lift rides to achieve.
It’s very hard to find someone listening to The Smiths loud enough to sing along to, and (spoiler) I didn’t.
I just had to go with what I got.
Here’s a precis:
Me: taps man on shoulder Oh my goodness, is that . . . Gloria Estefan?
Him: blushing furiously It’s a Spotify mix. Looks around at other people in the lift. It’s completely random.
Me: persisting I LOVE this song
Guess what? It turns out his ideal woman isn’t someone who knows all the lyrics to “Rhythm Is Gonna Get You.”
You might not know this, but some older lifts still have emergency stop buttons. And if an elderly fellow passenger in said lift is, for example, prone to panicking, it doesn’t take much for them to press it. A woman randomly bursting into song certainly does the trick.
It’s been a week now. You’ve had three meet-cutes from me.
Time to send your pages.
Evie x
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL: The Lift (AKA bonus meet-cute)
January 24, 2:20 a.m.
Your writing really is evocative, Red. Truly. It was like I was right there with you in the lift. Especially the part where the guy turned his music off and you still decided to finish the song.
I really felt exactly how long it took for the engineer to get you out.
Ex
P.S. Pages will be sent when they’re good and ready.
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject: Email inbox full??? URGENT
January 24, 11:32 a.m.
I think there’s something wrong with my inbox. It keeps telling me it’s full. I had to delete emails just to send this one. Why are there so many?
Also, I’m not sure what your filing system is, so I’ve been putting contracts in any spare space I can find.
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL: We had a deal
January 24, 1:22 p.m.