“That’s a lie,” he retorts quickly. “You know exactly why you agreed to dinner and why you stepped into that booth earlier. There is nothing wrong with missing it, Naomi. No shame in wanting that piece of yourself back. It’s a beautiful piece and the world should have it, same as you.”
I look down, staring at the table as I run my fingers over the fine wood grain. “It’s more than just that —more than just Florian. And you’re right. I do want that piece of myself back. I’m just…” Fucking terrified, I don’t say.
After everything that happened, for a while, I thought I’d never be able to make it out of the darkness. But I did. And I did it all on my own with a promise to myself never to fall into that abyss again. So yeah, I distance myself. I safeguard my heart. I protect all that I have left because there is no one else to do it but me. What happens to me if I open myself back up again to all that old pain that nearly ruined me the first go around?
“You have your baggage, and I obviously have mine. I need to finish getting over Viola once and for all, and I know you tell me you’re in a good place, but are you really? Or is that something you say because ignoring whatever happened between you and your ex is a hell of a lot easier than facing it.”
My eyebrows shoot up to the sky. The freaking nerve on this guy. I think I take back all that I said on his honesty. His honesty is a freaking weapon.
“You realize that was an insanely shitty thing to say, right?”
He puffs out a breath. “Yeah, I get that. But you’re missing how alike we are in this. You wanna talk shitty? Try giving the woman you let get away, the woman you always planned to marry, to your brother. She’s pregnant with his kid. Did you know that?”
I shake my head. I didn’t know that.
“Yep. But I’m trying to work through this, and I think you could use some of that too. I get your heartache, and I think you get mine, and I think this can be like therapy for both of us.”
Except my heartache stems from more than just my ex.
He shifts, dropping his forearms back on the table and leaning against them as he slays me with a look that says he’s got me, and he’s not letting go. “Do this duet with me, Naomi. I can’t take away time or the past. I can’t change the unchangeable. But I can give you a piece of yourself back. I can help you give your pain a proper voice and an outlet. I can give you the music. That thing you still live and breathe and wake up for. And after that, what you do with it is up to you.”
“You say that like it’s all so simple.”
“Did you ever consider you’re the one making it complicated?”
No. Actually, not really. But he might have a point. Motherfucking cocky bastard.
“Come on, beautiful. Try me.”
I cock an eyebrow at him, angling my head in his direction in warning. “I’m not sleeping with you. If we’re doing honesty, that’s my hardline.”
His eyes flicker to my mouth for a long beat before falling to the table between us. He grins wryly, a strained chuckle passing his lips. He reaches out, nudging at his place setting until it’s perfectly straight, and then finally, his eyes come back up and lock on mine. “Agreed.”
“Looks like it took you a second to get there.”
He gives me a shameless shrug. “It might have,” he admits. “But I can’t have sex with you and make this song. Besides, you don’t strike me as the type of woman who would be interested in what I offer.”
I cup my water glass, enjoying the cold wetness on my suddenly overheated skin. I’m the one who just drew the line in the sand about sex, but that doesn’t seem to stop my wayward thoughts. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the way his charcoal eyes are feasting on me with a hunger that has nothing to do with the meal he just ordered.
“And what is that?” I ask, my voice just a touch huskier. If he catches it, for once, he doesn’t comment.
“Sex.”
His eyes darken as he says that, and I can feel my pulse starting to race.
“And nothing more?”
“No. Just sex. At least that’s how it’s been for a while.”
“And women don’t complain about that?”
He shakes his head slowly, watching me closely for a reaction I try desperately not to give him despite the rave going on inside my body. But he knows. He has to know his words, the way he says sex in that deep, suggestive tone, are affecting me.
“You’re right. That’s not what I’m about,” I finally manage once I have control over my nerves and my voice.
His eyes dance about my face, his expression suddenly so very serious. “Figured as much. Besides, you don’t date musicians. I’m assuming that means you don’t sleep with them either?” I shake my head, because right now I don’t sleep with anyone, musician or not, which is likely why my body feels like it’s on fire at the moment. He leans in further, ensnaring me with those gunmetal eyes. “Now that we got that out of the way…what do you say? Will you do this song with me?”
Chapter Seven
Naomi
* * *
My heart picks up a pounding rhythm, a torrent of blood rushing through my veins, making it difficult to take a deep breath. Before I can think twice about it, I reach across the table and snatch that piece of crumpled paper he intentionally left there like a weapon to taunt me with.
“What are you, twelve?” I question as I unfold it, half expecting to see a note passed to his girlfriend in trigonometry. It’s that’s old-school. I mean, all the songs I’ve worked with have been written on computers or phones or something more technologically advanced than thick lined paper and number two pencil.
“Fourteen. Don’t judge.”
He’s right. I am in no place. I’m deflecting and turning my scared into bitchiness. I scroll through the stanzas, word by word while he not-so casually sips his Coke, his eyes glued in my direction. “You’re watching me,” I murmur, and he chuckles.
“Just admiring your beauty,” he quips, and I smile, shaking my head.
I wave my hand out at him, shaking it back and forth. “Seriously, I can’t concentrate with you staring at me like that.”
“Fine. I’ll pretend to stare at my phone instead.” I roll my eyes but immediately go back to reading, trying my best to block out the sensation of his penetrating gaze on me.
I came to, realizing what I had done.
That I had given up on so much love.
So many lies and mistakes.
Yet you showed so much grace.
So tell me how this goes.
How our song comes to a close.
How much time does it take
To end this heartache.
This love has no bounds.
No restrictions I have found.
Except for one.
Now it’s time to shift the tide.
To regain a life that hasn’t been mine.
It’s no longer you and me.
No more wondering what’s meant to be.
Because what was once is now gone.
What should have never been is done.
A heart beating.
A new life creating.
It’s time.
You’ve heard my rhyme.