I was angry, not dead.
“So you aren’t going to tell me what you meant?” I asked again.
He sat on the edge of the bed, his cologne infiltrating my senses, and my mind fogged. Nothing was better than a man that smelt good. Brian never wore cologne.
His hand landed on my knee, and even through the sheet, his touch was too much for me to handle right now. I jerked away from him, leaving his hand mid-air. He arched a perfect, black brow at me and then set his hands on his lap.
“No,” he finally said, standing up by pressing his palms to his thighs. He walked over to the modern oak dresser and opened the drawer, throwing me another shirt. “You can wear the joggers from yesterday. It’s all we have for you. Get dressed. Eat. We will go shopping for clothes.”
“You. Go shopping?” I snorted and swung my legs over the bed, wrapping the sheet around my body. “I’ve heard it all now.”
“You’re going to be here a long time, Quinn. You better get used to surprises.”
“You’re funny if you think I’m staying here for ten years, Jaxon.” I stood up and walked over to the silver tray of food, and right as I took off the lid of a plate, Jaxon’s arms were around me, but not in an embrace.
He wanted to be in control.
Jaxon twisted my hair around his wrist and turned my head to the side to expose the column of my neck. “You will stay if you want your precious Brian to stay alive. Each day you make me wait for an answer, I’ll take one of his toes.”
“You wouldn’t,” I gasped, but not from his words like I should have, but like a crazy person, I felt the long length of his erection pressing against my ass. All there was between us were his jeans and these sheets wrapped around me.
“I would, and I’d like it.” His beard rubs against my cheek until the skin became raw. “I’d like nothing more than to see him suffer for what he planned on doing to you, what he did to me,” he recited again as if he thought the more he said Brian was a liar, I’d believe him.
I had no idea what to believe.
I wanted to believe Jaxon, my heart screamed at me to listen, but the part of me that has lived the last ten years thinking Jaxon killed Tracy, that side of me wasn’t letting go as easily as Jaxon wanted. Change was an evil mistress, and in this situation, she was dangerous and trying her best to shift my emotions.
“Maybe you need to hear for yourself,” he said, keeping me trapped against his chest. “I won’t allow you to talk to him, but you can see him.”
“When?” I asked quickly, wanting to call his bluff.
“Now, get dressed, and I’ll take you down to him, and then we will go get you more clothes.”
“How do I know it isn’t a ploy to take me to a deep dark dungeon?” I spun around in his arms, wanting to be daring, but it was the wrong move to make. His mouth was too close to mine now, and his scent took over every single one of my senses. My nipples scraped against his chest, and I knew he felt them by how his pupils dilated into two fine points as he stared at me.
Jaxon couldn’t be the future for me. He was the past, a memory, a murderer, and a complete asshole. I couldn’t want him.
Liar.
I’ve always wanted him, and as I stared into his eyes, our bodies pressed together, something deep down told me he wasn’t the monster I’ve made him to be. How did I get over that? He kept preaching about the truth, and if he was right, then I made the biggest mistake of my life believing Brian when I could have fought for Jaxon.
If Jaxon was right, then why would he want anything to do with me now?
I wasn’t ready for the truth, and I wasn’t ready to see Brian. I needed to come to terms with the fact that the last ten years of my life was a lie. I tried to pull away from Jaxon, but he kept a tight hold around my hips. He was so much bigger than me, and fighting him with my body was pointless, but I could fight him with my mind.
“Let me go.”
“Like you let me go?”
The words had me looking away from his handsome face toward the bed. “Do you blame me?”
Without hesitation he said, “Yes.”
My breath left my lungs in a powerful gust as he stepped away from me, leaving me colder and feeling smaller than before he wrapped his arms around me.
“I do blame you,” he said. “You believed a man you didn’t know over the man you claimed to love. I blame you for not having more faith in me.” He slammed his fist over his chest, pressing his lips together until the area around his mouth turned white. “I understood your fear, but did you ever stop to think about mine? I was going out of my mind, Quinn!” he roared, punching his chest again and a hard thud sounded. “I had just lost my sister, my best fucking friend, and then you turned your back on me.”
“The evidence—”
“—Fuck the evidence!” The veins in his neck stood proud, standing with rage on the sides of his neck. “Fuck the goddamn evidence and think of me. Think of me for once second of your selfish, privileged life. You were so eager to throw me away, and yet you can’t muster up the courage to learn the truth.”
Tears brimmed my eyes, but I refused to let them fall for Jaxon. He’s never spoke so harshly to me. “The truth. We both know there are three sides to every story. I did love you—”
He closed the space he had put between us just seconds ago and tightened his hand around the upper part of my neck, and his thumb dug into the bottom of my chin. “You still love me.”
“I stopped loving you years ago,” I lied. I never stopped loving him, but I didn’t want him to know that so easily. I hated that he could read me still as if I were an open book spread before him.
He cocked his head, and his lips were just a breath away from mine. “Liar,” he said, the insult gliding across my lips as he spoke. “You might not want to love me, but you do.”
“Prove it,” I challenged, keeping my head held high as he stared those black daggers into mine.
“I’m trying, but you’re fighting me every step of the way. I’ll win in the end, Quinn. The sooner you realize that the better off we will be.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then we are going to have a long ten years together.”
“You’d rather have me miserable than truly happy?” I asked, searching his face for any sort of compassion or empathy.
“You’d be lying to yourself if you thought for one minute, you’d ever be miserable with me.” He grazed his finger down my cheek, and I wanted to lean into his touch, but I kept frozen in place.
“You’re a dreamer, Jaxon. I’ve lived the last ten years without you, what makes you think I can‘t do it again?”
“Because once you know the truth, you’ll never want to spend another minute without me. Face it, Quinn. No one will love you like I do, want you like I do, and—” he pinched my hard nipple through the sheet, and I moaned. Damn him. He knew I loved nipple play, “no one will ever fuck you like I can; like I will.”
“Arrogant bastard.”
“When it comes to you, arrogance is essential. It’s the only way to handle a woman like you.” He took a step away from me again, and another piece of my soul went with him. “You’ll see, Quinn.”