This six year old girl speaks with more confidence than I’ve ever possessed.
“I agree with you on the first part. No one should be going around pushing people or calling them names. I’ll make sure I talk to Kayden. But if it happens again, instead of taking matters into your own hands and kicking someone else, just let me know, okay?”
“Are you going to take care of it?” she asks, pinning me down with an inquisitive look.
“Absolutely,” I assure her.
“Are you okay?” the door opens wide and my world freezes as I sit there and look up at someone I never expected to see. What is Christian doing here? Why is he asking if I’m okay? I swear it feels like being hit by a truck, blinded by the sun, and pushed under water all at once. Nothing makes sense. I don’t know what to feel.
Confusion.
Heartbreak.
Shock.
There are too many emotions running through my mind at once to focus on just one.
“Hi Daddy,” Ari says, getting up from the chair and running straight toward him. Daddy. Did she just call him that? Christian? My Christian? He’s not your Christian anymore, the voice in the back of my head says and it’s right.
The person standing in front of me is not the boy I fell in love with. No, a man has taken his place. This version is taller, with broader shoulders and a strong jaw. If it weren’t for his piercing dark brown eyes, which are currently focused on me, I’d be convinced he isn’t the same person. Christian had been gorgeous in high school, but that fades in comparison to the man he’s become.
Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind, I focus on one thing only, the only thing that matters... he has a daughter.
“This is Mr. Cole, Ari’s dad,” Hannah says as she stands to the left of him. I didn’t even realize she was here until now. Her introduction of the guy who broke my heart confirms to me that I’m not crazy. That it’s really him. That Ari is his daughter. That he’s standing just mere inches away.
“Amari,” my name falls from his lips like an unanswered prayer as he lifts his daughter in his arms and embraces her. He looks at me and I see the confusion in his eyes. That makes two of us. He didn’t know I was back. I didn’t think he had stayed here, but I guess that wasn’t the only thing I didn’t know.
I look at him and then at Hannah. My eyes then shift to the girl in his arms. The one hugging him like he’s her lifeline. The one who talked about him like was her hero. I don’t know what to do with myself. I bring my hand to my chest, feeling like that’s the only thing I can do to stop myself from falling apart. I feel my heart breaking all over again.
He stayed in Forest Pines.
He’s in this room.
He left me.
He moved on.
He has a daughter.
“Ari, why don’t we go get your things while your dad speaks to Ms. Santana?” Hannah says, detecting the tension in the room. I know she heard the way Christian uttered my name with familiarity. She can see that my face is pale and my words have left me.
“Is it okay if I go with her, Daddy?” Ari asks, bringing her small hands to Christian’s chin and bringing his attention back to her. He tears his eyes away from me and looks at his daughter. I intrude in their moment as I watch the way he inspects her to make sure nothing’s wrong. Then, after he’s satisfied that she isn’t hurt, he nods.
He sets her down and Ari holds on to Hannah’s hand. They both walk out of the room and the moment the door closes the tension in the room becomes twofold.
Christian Cole.
My high school sweetheart.
He’s not your anything anymore.
He made me fall in love with him and then he left me.
I watch him, but he doesn’t move. Doesn’t attempt to get closer to me or flee. He just stands there next to the door and I bet he’s weighing his choices. Trying to figure out if he should stay and try to talk to me or follow his daughter out the door and avoid this altogether.
I don’t move either. I stay seated because if I stand I may fall. I haven’t seen him in six years.
His daughter is six years old; the realization comes out of nowhere.
“She’s six.” Those are the first words to leave my mouth since he entered the room. Since he barged in and flipped my world upside down, again.
“I didn’t know you were back,” he says, avoiding my statement.
“She’s your daughter and she’s six,” I tell him, again ignoring his words. Of course that’s his kid, she called him Dad. He barged in here looking for her. She’s got his eyes and his confidence. That’s why it all seemed so familiar. Ari is a copy of him. Him and someone else. It takes me longer than it should, but I finally put two and two together.
I close my eyes. I know he’s here. I know this is real. But I wish so much that it weren’t. After being here for the last couple of weeks, the last thing I expected was this. Yes, I knew there was a chance he may have stayed. I knew I could run in to him at any point if he had. Still, I didn’t expect I’d ever be standing in this room face to face with him. I never expected that my assistant would call him in because of his daughter. How could I have?
I open my eyes and find him taking a few steps toward me. I shake my head, which causes him to stop moving. He can tell from the look in my eyes that I know. He hangs his head and moves toward me again. “It’s not what you think,” he starts to defend himself.
Chills run through my body the moment those words leave his mouth because it confirms that I’m right. I may be bad at math, but this is really simple. Six years. Six years ago we were in high school. It was senior year. He was my boyfriend. Six years ago was when he broke my heart.
“Did you think I was going to let you follow me around? That I would be your doting boyfriend forever? If you did, you were wrong.” The words he said to me as he broke up with me six years ago come back to mind.
He used those words to drive the knife into my heart and tear me to shreds.
He should’ve used some simpler words.
He should’ve just told me… he cheated.
10
CHRISTIAN
No one could’ve prepared me for this moment. If anyone had said to me that I would show up at my daughters’ school and see her, I would’ve laughed. Then, depending on who said it, I would’ve punched them in the face for bringing her name up in the first place.
I haven’t seen her in six years.
She’s still as breathtaking as the first time I saw her from the corner of my eye. Except she’s even more beautiful now, if that’s even possible.
She still has the sweet and innocent look that can bring me to my knees. But I can see in the way she looks at me that she’s different now. She’s fiercer. More assured. She’s a woman.
Still, the girl I fell in love with back then is standing right in front of me and I want nothing more than to crash my lips against hers and feel her pressed against my body. Have her mold into me like she did before. I ache to have her in my arms again.
When she asks me about my daughter though, I know that’s never going to happen. The two of us being together… yeah that’s something I gave up on a while ago.
“I didn’t know you were back,” I tell her as I absorb the shock of seeing her here. I don’t know what to make of it. How long has she been back?