She turns the stroller around and pushes me back home. I get to see daddy; I love daddy.
She unclips me and holds me tight, as she leaves the stroller by the door and places me in the living room.
“I’ll be right through there, I’ll fix us some lunch and then we can do something fun.” She rubs her nose against mine, and I squeeze her tight.
“I love you, my little ray of moonlight.”
“I love you, mama.” She gives me a big kiss on the cheek before leaving the room.
I pick up Teddy and look at the TV. Bright colors and shapes fill the screen and I can’t look away.
It’s so pretty!
A strange noise sounds from the kitchen, and I look around, as if whatever made the weird noise would appear. It’s quiet, and the TV is on.
My attention returns to it in moments, until I hear another noise. I clutch Teddy to my chest, as I wander out of the living room and make my way to the kitchen.
“Mama,” I say, but she doesn’t reply. Mama always answers me, no matter how busy she is.
I walk into the kitchen to see mama lying on the floor, and a man standing over her. I arch my neck and he takes one look at me before he runs for the back door. He’s naughty. Mama doesn’t like me running in the kitchen.
He didn’t close it. Mama won’t be happy.
I walk over to her and place my hand on her face. Her head slides across until she’s facing me, her eyes are wide, but she’s not saying anything.
“Mama.” Tears are pouring down my face, and hiccups are joining the tears.
Why won’t she say anything? I lie down beside her and pull her arm around me. Her chest isn’t making that funny thump sound, what’s wrong with my mama? Her arm falls down, and I grip it tighter.
“Please wake up, mama. Please.”
My pajamas are stuck to my sweat soaked skin and my sheets are no longer on the bed. I must have kicked them off. If only I could do the same thing to that damn dream. What was that? Was it real or just something my mind conjured up to upset me? It couldn’t be a memory, it’s not possible. I was four, and I’ve never remembered anything in that much detail before. Besides, who was that man? Better yet, why would he just leave me there?
I jump in the shower and try to wash the remnants of that dream down the drain; it isn’t working, but maybe if I pray hard enough, I will forget it all.
I throw on a pair of leggings and a flowing tank top, before making my way down to the mess hall, grab some coffee, and join D at our table. She jumps as I sit down beside her and I can’t figure out why. It isn’t as though I was being quiet, and I could have sworn she was looking right at me.
“Are you okay?” I ask as I bring the sweet nectar to my mouth and practically inhale it.
“I’m tired and stressed, but I’m okay. What’s up with you? You look like you haven’t slept a wink,” she says, and my shoulders sag as I weigh up what I should or shouldn’t say.
“I had… a strange dream. It left me feeling confused, I guess. I can’t work out if it was just some weird dream, or a distant memory that I locked away. I’m guessing the former, seeing as it happened after I read about my m… Selene. I just need to forget about it.” I stroke the bridge of my nose as Twenty and Twenty-Eight appear at our table.
“Is everything okay?” I ask with a sigh, there’s a tightness in my gut, and my skin is prickling as I wait for something to happen. Daria just stares at them for a few moments before looking at her breakfast.
“We just wanted to come and see the girl who doesn’t care about the rules, or the right way to act. How long do you think you’re going to last?” Twenty asks with a sneer as Twenty-Eight tugs on the hem of her shirt.
“What are you talking about?” D asks, as she shoves her plate away and stands up, placing her hands on her hips.
“The way she acts, people have seen how she talks to the guys. Do you really think they’ll allow it once you finally spread those little legs of yours?” She may as well be spitting lava to go along with the heavy dose of vitriol.
“Come on, can we just go? This isn’t worth it,” Twenty-Eight says as she grabs her arm and pulls her away.
“Don’t forget, Five. You’re no one, nothing. They’ll throw you away like yesterday’s trash in no time.” Those are Twenty’s parting words to me as she strolls away and I sit here with my jaw on the table.
“What just happened?” I ask out loud and D looks at me for a moment before taking a drink from her cup.
“People are jealous, you know this. Just be careful,” she replies before she empties her plate in the trash and we set off for the swimming pool.
It feels as though everything is slipping through my fingers, and no matter how much I clutch at it… it just keeps on falling.
12
Back In Session
I’ve had an entire month to myself, spending time with Daria and trying to figure out what happened in the tower with Emmet, but I haven’t come up with any answers yet. Not that it matters, classes start back up today and I know I’m going to have to put twice as much work in this time. I did okay last year but I want to do better. I don’t want to barely scrape by. I may excel in my cooking classes, but it’s the business one I need. Especially if I have any hope of starting up my own bakery and keeping it running long term.
My first class is cooking and I’m more than ready to get stuck in. I’m not surprised Aeron has dropped the class. He couldn’t even cook scrambled eggs last year, so cakes and pastry would not be a good fit. I still don’t get why he even bothered. If he wanted time with me, all he had to do was order it. So why go to so much trouble?
I claim my workstation and start setting out my supplies. I don’t know what we’ll be making for our first lesson, but I’m willing to do whatever the tutor decides. She comes in and starts pairing us off and my head shoots up when I hear my name be paired up with Dustin, a Harkwright.
He walks over and gives me a quick smile before he places his bag on the floor, and stares straight ahead, waiting for the tutor to say something.
“Today we will make cheese souffles,” she says as she passes out the instructions and I pull out the ingredients. I already know what I will remove and change when I make these in my free time.
“You really enjoy this stuff,” Dustin states, as I weigh everything out, and I don’t reply until I’m finished.
“I live for this. It’s the only thing that I want to do. This is what I’ll do when I leave here. What about you? I don’t remember seeing you last year,” I reply easily, and he smiles a little warmer this time.
“I’ve always enjoyed cooking, but my father wouldn’t let me join this class last year. He feels it’s a pointless endeavor, and he didn’t want me to become distracted from my future career.” He rolls his eyes and lets out a chuckle, but I don’t think he’s as carefree about all of this as he’s trying to pretend.
“Whether you do this for fun or a career, it doesn’t matter. We all have hobbies, why can’t you have one too?”
“I completely agree. Well then, Five, I look forward to spending this school year with you.” He gives me a wink before he preps his station, and I smile lightly, as I shake my head and get to work.