“Now, unlike you, that makes me jealous. I don’t like it, Five. I don’t like it at all.” He grips my hips and slams me into him, my hands going to his chest, and I want nothing more than to push him away.
“It shouldn’t bother me if another guy touches you, and I shouldn’t care that we only have two years guaranteed, but I can’t help it. I’m so fucked in the head, and this is just driving that point home even more.”
He grinds his hips into me hard when he says driving, and I bite my lip to stop any noises from escaping.
“I’m not capable of being a good guy, I’m going to keep hurting you and there’s nothing I can do about it. Other than set you free and hope that Shane isn’t next on the waiting list.” His words confuse me, and he must be able to read that on my face. “You are in high demand, Little Zero. There’s an entire list on who will be the next to claim you, once I’ve released you. Although, Emmet only wants you once you’re no longer virginal, so you’ll be safe where he is concerned.”
Ahem.
“Why are you so convinced you can only ever hurt me? I’ve seen a nicer side to you, Aeron, and honestly, I like that guy. Why do you always fall back to… the guy you were on the retreat? You are capable of so much more, and the only one holding you back is yourself.” I may be overstepping, but it has to be said and I can’t see anyone else having the balls to say it to him.
“Because it’s set in my DNA, baby, and it’s inevitable.” He laughs sardonically and I shake my head as I bring my hand up to cup his face. It surprises me that he leans into my touch, but I like that he is.
“I call horse crap. Do you know how many people blame their actions on their family when really, they could have at least tried to change? Now, I know you always self-destruct whenever you come back from wherever it is you disappear to. You get wasted and quite frankly, you’re a little unbearable. The thing is, I can’t run out on you, Aeron. I’m one of the few girls who doesn’t see you as another conquest. I like your company, even when you’re high, as long as you’re the better version of yourself.” I inch my head forward. My nose brushes against his and I feel his breath falter. “Despite myself, I do like you and I have a feeling that you are more capable than you believe.”
“You want me to change?” he croaks as he clears his throat.
“No, I just want you to be one person. Either the one who interrupted my baking sessions and held me after the garden incident, or the one who returns. The one who doesn’t give two hoots who he hurts. Can you do that? No matter your answer, only ever do it for yourself. Aeron, you could do something amazing. You just have to see it for yourself.”
“I don’t think I’m worth it, Luna. My name makes people think I get everything I want but they’re wrong. It holds me back and ties me to a future I have no desire in. I feel worthless, and every time I’m forced to go back to my mother, she wastes no time in reminding me of Hit.” his eyes are shining with his tears, and my heart is breaking. I’ve never seen so much emotion from him before.
I never realized how similar we were. We seem like complete opposites, but now I’m seeing him for who he truly is. All I want to do is show him that he isn’t worthless, and he deserves the good in this world.
My eyes search his as he stares back, I can feel him deep in my soul. Mine flicker from side to side before they drop to his mouth, I move slowly because I know Aeron does not kiss. He doesn’t move back, say a word, I doubt he even breathes in the few moments it takes me to place my lips against his. Our eyes are still open, which is strange, but it doesn’t feel like it. I half expect him to rear back or say something sinful and ruin the moment, but he shocks the hell out of me.
His hand cups the back of my head as his eyes drift closed, and he tilts my head the way he wants. Deepening our kiss and sliding his tongue along the seam of my lips, until they part for him.
His other hand strokes across my hip as mine fist in his shirt, not quite believing what is happening right now. He breaks away, and drops a kiss on my nose, both cheeks, and beneath my eyes before kissing my mouth one last time.
“You make me want to do bad things to you, Little Zero.” My arms thread around his waist as his nose skims up my neck before his tongue follows the trail.
“What’s stopping you?” He looks at me curiously, his eyebrows drawn down before a light chuckle falls free.
“Because it’s up to you who you go with for the first time, and I don’t know how long I can hold off for. It’s the other reason I’m releasing my claim on you, I won’t be the reason Emmet finally gets his way.” My teeth sink into my bottom lip as he steps back and runs a hand through his already messy hair.
“You’re right, you won’t be,” I say without thought, and his hand drops as he cocks his head to the side.
“You’ve chosen then. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised I wasn’t on your list.” His laugh is mirthless as he sits down and starts rolling a joint.
“You were top on the list, Aeron. But E-E-Emmet declared me off limits to y-y-you and you always seem to listen to him. C-c-can I go now?” I ask as my feet fidget, I’m on the edge of telling him the truth and I need to get away before I do.
“Go for it. There’ll always be someone better waiting.” He falls back as his eyes drift closed, and he’s gutted me without even knowing it.
“I meant what I said, Aeron. Y-y-you need to decide w-w-which version is really you. S-so, I’m going to tell you something. If it stays a s-s-secret, then I’ll know I was right about you and if it doesn’t… well, then I’ll be counting the minutes until I’m no longer tied to you.” He sits back up and I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. My hand falling onto the door handle, ready to make my escape as soon as the words hit the air. “You won’t be the reason Emmet won’t hold back, because I’m no longer a virgin.”
His eyes grow impossibly wide as I pull open the door and dart to freedom, hoping I’m not wrong about Aeron. Otherwise, Emmet will come for me. No matter how he’s been acting lately, I can’t see him giving up the chance to get what he’s wanted. To consume me and then walk away once he finally has his fill.
I head straight to the mess hall to find D waiting for me with a plate of food, and tears prick my eyes at her kindness. As I take my seat, an announcement sounds over an intercom I didn’t even realize they had in here.
“An assembly will take place one hour from now. Full attendance is mandatory.”
“That’s strange, there wasn’t one being held this morning. I hope they haven’t discovered anyone else in the maze,” D says and I shrug my shoulders, unsure of what else I’m supposed to do.
“There she is, the virgin who wants to have all the men for herself. They’ll get bored with your teasing soon enough,” One says, as she sashays over to us.
“I don’t want all the men,” I say with an eye roll, and hers narrow in return.
“I don’t give a fuck how many you want. I’m here to tell you I have my top three, and you will not be taking them from me.”
“A top three? Seriously? I know they may have assigned you as One, but you aren’t better than the rest of us. I bet it eats you up inside, knowing that I got out of being a Zero without once opening my legs. How many guys have you spread them for?” I stand up and walk around the table, as everything goes quiet.