I give up with this class. I just hope I can catch up, maybe get Maddox to talk me through it?
An hour later and it’s over, I let a breath of relief pass through me before I gather my things and wait outside for Maddox.
“I’ve got half an hour before my next lesson starts, but if you need longer, I can always catch up tomorrow,” he says, and his kindness makes me want to cry.
“You don’t need to do that. Shall we go for a walk in the gardens? Just not the maze,” I hastily add, and he nods his agreement before we set off.
“What’s the matter, Luna?”
“I feel so… lost. The more I learn, the less sense I can make of it. I’m so scared of making the wrong choice, and having it blow up in my face. What if every decision I’ve made since I applied for this place was the wrong one?” I’m playing with the ruffles on my skirt, and he’s so quiet, I have no idea what he’s thinking.
“If we don’t make mistakes, then how can we learn? You can never be sure if you are doing the right thing, not really. What if you see someone choking, you save their life and then they rob a convenience store, killing the clerk? Were you doing the right or wrong thing? Because it caused someone else to die, or was it fate balancing the scale?” He stops and turns to face me. “I think sometimes all we need is someone to say that they believe in us, and they are on our side, and that’s what I’m saying to you right now. You’re a good person, Luna, and you’ve got a friend for life in me.”
Tears are streaming down my face and no matter how many I wipe away, more just take their place.
“How can those two be your brothers?”
“I wondered how long it would be until someone let it slip. Although, I doubt it was either of them. They’re not exactly happy that they’re so closely related to me. A distant cousin would have been preferred, I imagine.” He kicks at a loose stone on the path, and we watch as it rolls away.
“Your mom seems nice, at least,” I say weakly, and he chuckles sadly.
“She’s been with us since I was nine, but she’s the only mom I have now. And she’s always been kind to me. It doesn’t stop me from wondering who my real mom is, but father refuses to talk about it. He’s not the man you push for an answer.”
“What do you mean?”
“Father was married to Shane and Emmet’s mom for a few years, but no matter how much money he threw at her, he couldn’t get her to look,” he hesitates and stares off into the distance, “a certain way, so he traded her in for a different model. Again, it didn’t work out the way he wanted, and he ended up with Maria. They’ve been together for ten years now. She’s the longest relationship he’s had. No doubt he’ll trade her in when he finds someone who’s a better fit for the image in his head. Anyway, he was away on business and slept with a stripper. Nine months later, I came along.” He drags a hand through his mop of hair before tugging roughly at the locks. “He told her he would take me on and let me be a Harkwright, as long as she sold over all rights, and never tried to contact me. I don’t know how much money he gave her, but it was enough for her to abandon her son. I’m a bastard, and Shane reminds me at every given opportunity. Emmet is just disconnected from the whole thing, he doesn’t care who I am. As long as I stay out of his way, he leaves me alone.”
“I’m sorry, Maddox, that can’t be easy. One thing I don’t understand, if Shane is the eldest, then why isn’t he the heir?”
“Because he’s a psycho. father would never trust him with the business, and in case you haven’t noticed, Emmet looks like a younger version of the man. He uses his head more than his brawn. I’m sure father has a purpose for Shane, he’ll always find a use for us, I just haven’t figured out what it is yet.”
“One last question, why does your mom look so much like me?” He fidgets on the spot as I peer at him. His reaction causes something to form in my mind, and I’m regretting asking the question. Please, don’t answer.
“Because he’s paid a lot of money to make it happen. Contact lenses that change her eyes to a pale blue. Hair dye that keeps her hair white, and surgeries to fix any imperfections he finds in the look. If you ask me why she stays, then it’s probably because she’s an equal mixture of frightened and in love. He’s a monster, Luna, I pray you are never alone with him or on the receiving end of his anger, or even worse, his charm. I can’t recall a single woman who has resisted.”
I’m sprawled out on my bed, textbooks dotted around beside me, and Maddox’s notes from class are on my lap. This would be so much easier with a computer, but it isn’t as though I’m even allowed one. So, the old-fashioned way it is.
My door opens slowly and a flash of red fills my peripheral, before I lift my head to find Tom standing in the doorway.
“Hey, stranger,” he says with a megawatt grin, and I tuck my hair behind my ears as I give him a smaller smile in return.
“Hey, Sunbeam, how are you?” Why am I being so awkward right now?
“I’m great, thanks,” he says with a laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and it leaves me breathless.
He approaches my bed, slides his fingers across my face, and then leans in for a deep, lingering kiss.
“How was the trip?” he asks as he pulls away.
“Enlightening, I guess. I found out Sir is not just Emmet’s father, but also Shane and Maddox’s. I also got some insight into why Aeron is the way he is, and had some time to work a few things out in my head.” Oh my God, just stop talking.
“Wow, not boring then ” He strokes his chin as he gazes down at me, and I can’t help but lose myself in his eyes. “So, what did you work out?” His tone seems almost hesitant.
“I’ve changed a lot since I first came here, and I think I need to adjust the way I see people, and the attitude I had coming in here. There were other things, but that will all work itself out in the end… I think.” Phew, I didn’t go into too much detail. Yeah, like telling him you think you’re falling for him.
“I think you’re saving all the good stuff, aren’t you, Moonbeam? Is there any way I could coax it out of you?” He dips his head for another kiss, his tongue twirling and dancing with mine. I think I’d tell him anything, and that’s how I know he’s become dangerous for me. I’m feeling too much for a guy that will probably never see me in that way.
“I’m sure you could, but I’d rather you didn’t,” I say on a sigh I feel bone deep.
“Okay then, you can talk to me though. I know I do stupid shit and mostly when we’re together, we end up naked, but I won’t judge you,” he says, and I believe him but I also worry he’ll run for the hills if I did.
Instead of answering, I pack up my study materials and place them on the floor before I get to my feet and unbuckle his jeans while I fuse my mouth with his. I can’t tell him what I’m feeling, but I can show him and he won’t even realize. I win and lose in this scenario.
He pulls my top over my head before removing his own, steps out of his jeans and boxers, and then he pounces, sweeping me into his arms and our hands are everywhere. Swallowing each other’s moans as I pump his cock and he teases my nipples. I don’t know what’s going on, but we can’t seem to keep our hands in one place. Exploring every inch of skin, every dip, every muscle until it becomes muscle memory.