“Okay, thanks for doing this. I know you don’t really want to be around me right now. I understand it; I do. So, yeah, thank you.” I really need to stop rambling.
“I want to be around you, Little Zero. It’s just so fucking awkward right now. I’m waiting for the feelings to go away, and then I can get back to my usual self.” He laughs, but it sounds more bitter than cheerful.
“I wish things could be different, I hate how complicated things are now. I never expected any of this to happen.” I get up off the floor and get us both a coffee.
“Maria thinks I should wait for things to get better, that you might choose me in the end. But we don’t deal in possibilities. It’s facts or nothing, and the fact is, you don’t love me.” I go to say something, anything, but he holds his hand up to stop my word from spilling out. “Look, can we just not do this? I’m here to help you. Let’s leave all the emotional crap to everyone else.” I nod my head, even though it doesn’t feel right. But what more can I say?
“I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone. It feels like it was only yesterday we were shooting balls of paint at each other. Now here we are, two weeks later, preparing ourselves for finals.” I think that’s a good alternative to the awkward, emotional stuff.
“Well, Tucker has been keeping you busy. Last year flew by. Although, I was high for the majority of it.” His fingers twitch, and he brushes his sleeves up to reveal a new tattoo on his arm.
“You got a new one.”
“Yeah, I always do stupid shit when I’m off my face,” he says with a Cheshire smile, but I can’t get a good enough look at it.
“Right, next up, math.”
Can my groan be any louder? Nope, it’s math. I may be good at it, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy it.
I meet Daria on the front steps, I’ve had enough of Aeron’s mock exams, and this is a welcome distraction.
“Hey, homegirl, how’s the studying going?”
“Great, but it’s making my head hurt,” I grouse, and she pats my hand before laughing at me.
“Hey, it will all be worth it in the end.”
“You know, I don’t know what you want to do when you leave here.” I feel crappy for that, but I can’t pretend otherwise. Even if we are heading off for archery. Please, don’t shoot me, I think that will hurt a lot worse than any paintball.
“I want to be a journalist. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be writing a piece on your bakery. That would be pretty cool.” She slides her arm in mine and we start walking through the gardens.
“I’ll be sure to buy every article you write. You’ll do fantastic, I just know it.”
“Thanks, Lu, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself just yet. We have one more year ahead of us, and I’m not exactly the popular girl around this place. I keep expecting my number to get bumped to the bottom, just to spite me.” She scowls at the topiaries, and I wonder if she’s picturing Bradley right now.
“That won’t happen. Besides the third spot is still up for grabs. I thought it would have been filled by now.”
“It won’t happen. Everyone is just waiting for you to earn it. I don’t know what you’re supposed to do though.” That’s a weird thing to say, right?
“Why do you say that? Anyone could claim it at this point.”
“Anyone could, but they won’t. Come on, Luna. Look at the way you acted, and you are still here. We’ve all heard about the time you got drunk in the game room. Anyone else and they would have been punished severely. But you got away with it scot free. I think you should just do whatever it is they want you to do. I’d rather it goes to you than Twenty, or any of those other pitiful girls in this place.” She has so much anger in her, and I hate it.
“I don’t know what they are waiting for, but I think I need to try. I need the money, I just don’t want to lose any more of myself to get it.” I have this heaviness in my chest and I can feel my stomach hardening. I don’t know what more they want from me, haven’t I given them enough already?
“Have you been in the maze since the strangler started?” she asks out of the blue, and I don’t like the way her eyes keep straying in that direction.
“Once, but I had Darius with me. Speaking of Darius, I haven’t seen any of the guards around lately, what’s going on there?”
“You haven’t heard?” I shake my head, and her eyes turn down at the corners. “Sir called them away. Apparently, we’re not in danger anymore. Nothing has happened in months, and I think they’re trying to pretend it was nothing more than a shared bad dream.” A shudder passes through me, that shakes me to my very core. I hope they’re right.
We walk over to the entrance, but I’m not willing to risk it, and I don’t want D to either. I pull on her arm, and she comes to a stop, but she can’t take her eyes off it.
“D, what’s going on?”
“I saw someone go in there earlier, and I wanted to know if they had left or…”
Oh crapsticks, she must have seen Bradley go in there with another girl. How insensitive can he be?
“D, it isn’t worth it. He’s not worth it. You deserve so much better than Bradley.” A faint laugh passes under her breath before she shakes herself off. She gives me a wide smile, and we head toward the archery field to let off some steam. At least she won’t shoot me, I think.
The next two weeks pass in a blur of girl time with D and Caitlyn. Sweaty, blissful nights with Tucker, and studying with Aeron, Maddox, and Dustin. I’m pretty much being left alone by everyone else, and my dining table is now back to just belonging to me and D. Caitlyn has yet to eat with us, but I think she’s building herself up to it.
“Have you heard, have you heard?” D asks, jumping on the spot next to my chair. I put my fork down and stare up at her expectantly, and she’s wearing the biggest smile.
“What’s going on?” I ask, forgetting all my obsessing over finals and preparation, as I’m swept up in her obvious excitement.
“We’re having a dance, and we get to go out dress shopping. I am so excited.” She claps her hands together, and I almost join her until I see Bradley. He stops walking toward their table, and heads toward us instead. My stomach twists up in knots, and I’m starting to worry about what my friend may do when he gets to us.
“Hey, girls, how are you doing?” he asks with his charming smile, one that will never work on me.
“Oh, we’re great. Thanks, Bradley. So sweet of you to ask,” D replies with a… damn, an actual, genuine smile. This is not what I was expecting.
“Oh, um, that’s great. Why are you so excited?” His eyes are burning, and if I didn’t know better. I would say he was jealous, but of what?
“Why, the dance, of course. You know how much I love to dance. It’s going to be so much fun. I hope your new girl doesn’t step on your toes or anything. I mean it genuinely. Some people just have two left feet.” She pats him on the back, before sauntering over to the food station.
“What the fuck just happened?” he asks the air, as his eyes follow her every move.