I don’t know whether that’s it or not, but this baby and I are the beneficiaries of his sweet side, and for that, I’m grateful. Because I haven’t lost sight of the fact that I could be going through all this alone.
We walk toward the den, and I take my usual place on the sofa. Ryder adjusts my pillows, places a blanket nearby in case I need it. Overkill, but sweet. I see his eyes land on the picture of us kissing, now placed prominently on the end table. He flashes me a sexy grin. I’m sure he’s wondering when I did that, but he’s not going to bitch about me being on my feet for that one. He’s too happy to see it there, too happy that picture no longer represents something bad for me. Now I can look at it and remember it as the day I met my baby’s father.
I hear the familiar buzz of the security gate outside, and Ryder pulls out his phone, checking to make sure it’s Addison. It is, and he buzzes her in. “Showtime!”
A few minutes later, there’s the doorbell. Before he heads to answer, I tease, “Hey, pregnant bed rest lady here. Get the door.” A quick kiss on the forehead, and he’s off.
I love my sister. I really do, but she enters the room like a hurricane, and her daughter is just the same. Tinsley comes running into the room as fast as a three-year-old can, screaming my name, her red hair whipping around. Addison and Owen aren’t even chasing after her, so used to her dramatic entrances, but Ryder gets in her path and scoops her up before she has a chance to jump on me.
Tinsley lets out the most deafening scream you’ve ever heard. “Stranger!”
Her “r” comes out like a “w,” but we all still know what she’s yelling. Ryder quickly places her down, looking at me, concern in his eyes.
“You can’t just pick up a kid you don’t know!” Addison says, cuddling her daughter to console her. “Have you never met a child before?”
“Not really,” Ryder says.
Owen steps up, shaking Ryder’s hand, while Addison squats down next to me with Tinsley in her arms. “Remember, Mommy and Daddy told you that Aunt K won’t be able to play with you like she used to.”
Tinsley sniffles. “A baby.”
“That’s right,” Addison says, putting her down and letting her give me a big hug.
Addison’s eyes roam around the house. I can’t really offer her a tour, and I’m not about to suggest that Ryder give one to her and Owen. No telling what new threat Addison would throw around. As far as my big sister is concerned, Ryder is still on very thin ice. Privately, she’s being very supportive, offering me good advice, but with Ryder, she’s got her guard up. When she turns back to me, she smiles, but I see the questions swirling in her eyes.
Tinsley holds her hands out toward me. “Hot pink!” I say, telling her how much I love her nail polish.
Tinsley is a girly girl. I’m not sure what Addison would’ve done if she had a boy. She loves painting Tinsley’s nails, doing her hair. My mom almost lost her mind when Addison pierced Tinsley’s ears as a baby. I swear, that three-year-old has more bling than I do.
I motion for Ryder to come over and try again with Tinsley. As soon as he steps that way, Tinsley nuzzles closer to her mother. Addison looks quite pleased by that. “They say kids and dogs are good judges of character.”
Without missing a beat, Ryder replies, “They also say that kids pick up on what their parents are feeling and mimic it!”
“Okay,” Owen says, throwing me an apologetic look.
I’m sure Addison and Owen talked about how they wanted this to go. And I’m sure Owen tried to convince Addison to stand down, but you know what they say about best laid plans. I really wish Addison would’ve checked her attitude at the door. She’s a guest. I’m supposed to avoid stress. You’d think she’d bite her tongue.
“Ryder, why don’t you and I take Tinsley to the beach?” Owen offers. “Give the girls a chance to catch up.”
“Beach!” Tinsley screams, taking her daddy’s hand.
Ryder points the way, but his eyes go to me. I give him a small nod to let him know I’m fine, then the three of them head out the French doors in the back, leaving me alone with my sister.
“I’ve never even walked the beach,” I say, hoping Addison will take the bait, and we can have a nice, calm conversation.
“Is he taking care of you?” she quickly asks.
“What’s it look like?” I ask.
She exhales. “Like you’re happy.”
Reaching for her hands, I say, “I need you to get on board.”
“That’s not easy since I’ve spent the last several months hating him.”
“For me,” I say. “You need to try.”
“This is me trying,” she says.
I can’t roll my eyes hard enough. I think for a moment then realize what will get her on my side. “You’re acting like Mom!”
“Now that’s just . . .” she busts out laughing. “Okay, spill. Tell me everything.”
I tell her about everything that’s happened lately—Maggie’s confession, my decision to give him another chance, that incredible kiss. Addison always wants all the juice, but bed rest equals no juice—at least, not the sexy kind she always bugs me about. And I have to say, I’m glad my family isn’t obsessed with the fact that Ryder’s famous. They don’t ask for autographs or special favors, seats to shows. He’s the man in my life, it’s that simple. Well, I guess it’s anything but simple. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, having no idea how any of this is going to work out.
“Sounds like things are going well, then,” she says. “So why do you look worried all of a sudden?”
“I don’t want to get hurt again,” I say. “Ryder’s a . . .” I don’t want to say he’s a complicated man. That’s such a cliché, and seems like a cop out, so I switch topics slightly. “How will I ever know if he wants me for me, not just because I’m pregnant?”
“Your heart will tell you,” she says. “If there’s one thing you are a pro at, it’s listening to your heart. Your heart told you to find him and tell him. Even though everyone told you to let it be, you went, anyway. You’ve always been that way.”
“I don’t think he believes in love,” I say quietly. “He never uses the word love in any of his songs.”
“People say it all the time and don’t mean it,” Addison says. “Is he doing things out of love? Do his actions say he loves you? Maybe it’s easier for him to show you how he feels.”
I don’t have to look far to know exactly what Addison’s referring to—the bottles of water he leaves for me, the blankets, the constant attention, cooking, cleaning, the toothpaste. God, that toothpaste almost made me cry tears of joy. These are acts of love. Is that enough for me? Enough for now, maybe?
“Thanks, Addison,” I say, giving her a hug.
“Plus, it’s early, Kailey,” she says, throwing down a big dose of reality. “It hasn’t been that long since you two reconnected. Maybe you should slow down.”
“I know,” I say. “But my heart can’t tell time.”