There are reasons loving him could be a bad gamble. I could make a list. The way he left me. Whatever happened in his past that he won’t tell me about. The fact that he’s a recovering man slut. I could go on and on, but I could also make a list of all the reasons to love him. And that list would be even longer—bubblegum toothpaste, microwave fried rice, cleaning up my puke, putting up with my crazy family, reading to our baby, the way he looks at me, the way my body lights up when he does.
I love him. Maybe I have for a while, but in this moment, I know I’m done. He’s it. He’s my forever.
Taking his cheeks in my hand, I draw him closer, fluttering my lashes on his skin. “That’s what it feels like.”
His lips softly land on mine, his tongue slowly circling mine. He’s very careful when he kisses me now—careful not to put too much weight on my belly, careful not to get me too riled up, knowing there’s nothing we can do about it.
He pulls back, resting his forehead on mine. “I know we can’t, but I want you to know that I’ve never wanted a woman more than I want you right now.”
*
“I can’t believe I’ve only gained ten pounds. I feel so big,” I say.
“Ten pounds is perfect,” Dr. Myers says, placing the ultrasound wand on my belly. Normally a woman wouldn’t get an ultrasound at every appointment, but Dr. Myers is keeping a close watch on my placenta, so we’re getting to see our baby again today.
He moves the wand around for several minutes, showing us various organs and limbs. Ryder’s got hold of my hand, his head close to mine. Ryder and I have come a long way since our first ultrasound back at the hotel, but it’s difficult not to conjure up those feelings. After all, it hasn’t been that long—about six weeks, but a lot has happened.
“She felt the baby move this morning,” Ryder says, a certain pride in his voice.
“Wonderful,” Dr. Myers says. “I have good news and not so good news.”
Worry fills my heart, and I look up at Ryder. He kisses my forehead. “Not so good news first,” I say.
“The placenta has moved over quite a bit, but you still have a partial blockage. So we are not out of the woods, but we are moving in the right direction.”
“What does that mean?” Ryder asks. “No C-section?”
“Can’t say that yet,” Dr. Myers says. “But I’m optimistic.”
“More bed rest?” I ask. “I don’t know how much more I can lay around.”
“I think we can move you to a modified bed rest,” Dr. Myers says. “That means you can walk around a little bit, not hours on end, but you certainly can go shopping for an hour or so, here and there. No heavy lifting or strenuous activity, but you can go out to eat dinner, or a movie. That kind of thing.”
“That’s great news,” I say, almost leaping off the table. Of course, shopping and going to the movie isn’t as easy as it sounds when escorted by a world-famous musician.
Ryder leans over and gently kisses my lips, then he looks up at the doctor. “What about,” he pauses, “other things?”
Dr. Myers looks up from the monitor. “Sorry, still no sex.”
The disappointment in my face is mirrored in Ryder’s. A tear rolls down my cheek, and Ryder catches it with his finger. “Don’t cry, baby,” he whispers.
“By the time I get to have sex again, I’ll be as big as a cow,” I say, half-sobbing, half-laughing.
“Any more bleeding?” the doctor asks, interrupting my meltdown.
“No,” I say.
“Contractions?” he asks.
“No.”
Dr. Myers strokes his chin for a few seconds. “Okay, then I’m going to say yes to orgasms, but no to penetration.” He gives us both a look. “Got it?”
“Got it,” Ryder says, eager to take what he can get. I start laughing. He’s way too excited. Dr. Myers laughs, too.
“Now for the really good news,” Dr. Myers says. “You want to know the gender of the baby?”
Ryder looks down at me. “If you can stand it, I’d like to be surprised.”
“The pregnancy wasn’t enough of a surprise?” I ask, laughing. He responds by kissing me sweetly, then I look back at Dr. Myers. “We’ll wait.”
*
Today was a perfect day. From feeling our baby move, to modified bed rest, to Ryder taking me out to dinner. The whole day, it was perfect. We even managed to sneak in and out of the restaurant without much attention. The stars aligned.
He promised to take me shopping for maternity clothes soon. He wasn’t going to let me go crazy on my first day of freedom. I’m so thrilled to be able to move around, I don’t even care it’s not today. Besides, I’m happy to space out my freedom.
Ryder had Maggie arrange for the maid to come while we were out, so even the house looks bright and happy. I’m walking on cloud nine when we get home. There’s only one thing that could make this day better. “Move back into the bed with me tonight,” I say, taking Ryder’s hand. “It’s been long enough.”
He doesn’t do any of the things I’m expecting. There’s no arguing or fighting. He doesn’t try to negotiate with me, or even lay down the law.
Instead, he simply smiles and says, “I’d like that.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Dancing under the stars, I twirled you around
Swinging, swinging
Ryder
“Off your feet,” I say to Kailey as soon as we cross the threshold of the bedroom door.
“You’re so bossy these days.”
I lean down, letting my breath tickle her neck. “You love it when I’m bossy.”
“In bed,” she says, pushing her body into mine.
That’s the only invitation I need, taking her down to the bed. “Stop me if you feel anything strange,” I whisper against her lips.
I don’t think my cock has ever been this hard. It’s not that he hasn’t gotten any attention. Kailey’s been more than generous in that department, considering she’s gotten nothing in return. But tonight is different. Tonight, I get her. Of course, I wish I could take all of her, but a taste will have to do.
Kissing her, I start unbuttoning her shirt. Well, my shirt. She’s borrowed my button-down because her stuff is starting to feel too tight. There’s something inherently sexy about a woman wearing a man’s shirt. The lace of her black bra comes into view. Pregnancy has been kind to her boobs, which are currently busting out of the cups.
“Christ, you’re sexy,” I whisper, trailing kisses down her neck to her perfect cleavage.
She reaches behind her, unhooking her bra, impatient, but I don’t want to hurry. It’s been so long. It’s like I’m discovering her body for the first time. Cupping her tit in my hand, I slowly suck, pulling her nipple between my teeth.
Her back arches as she moans loudly. “Hurry,” she pleads, reaching for the waistband of her shorts. I remove them, looking down at her laid out before me, wearing nothing but black lace panties. Fuck!
I run my hands up her legs to her inner thighs, massaging them slowly, taking my time. She’s wiggling around, begging for my touch. “Shh, baby,” I whisper. “I’m getting there.”