“What kind of thing?” he asked.
“Pick up women, bring them back to your fancy hotel room.”
From the look on his face, I knew I was right, but he stepped closer to me, grinning. “I find myself with a rare night off and thought we could . . .”
“Fuck?” I asked, throwing my hand on my hip.
He didn’t waver. “Is that what you want?” My mouth fell open, and he pulled me to him. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to decide that yet.” Before I could give him an earful, he started laughing, really laughing. I rolled my eyes hard, and he captured me in his arms. “Stay.”
“I know how this kind of thing works, and I’m not sure I’m interested,” I said.
“Then why come here at all?” he challenged.
I shrugged. “Good story to tell my kids one day.”
“What if I don’t want to be some one-night stand story?” he asked.
“What if I don’t want to be some country song about love gone wrong?”
He inched away from me. “None of my songs use that word.”
*
My decision to stay was just one of many that put me on this path. If I’d left then, I wouldn’t be pregnant and driving home alone in the middle of the night.
It’s after three in the morning when I pull onto my sister’s street. The drive took me much longer than it should have, but I had to stop and pee twice and then I drove past an ice cream shop that was open late, and the baby had a craving. Yes, I blame everything I eat on the baby.
I see the outside lights of my sister’s house are on, waiting for me. I haven’t been here in almost two weeks, ever since I started following Ryder’s tour like an obsessed groupie instead of his baby momma. It’s good to be back. It’s so nice that Addison and her husband are letting me stay rent free in their guest cottage while I figure out what to do. I found out I was pregnant at the same time I was graduating. My plan was always to return home to California, I just wasn’t expecting to do it with a bun in the oven.
Employers can’t legally refuse to hire you because you’re pregnant, but it’s not difficult for them to find another excuse. I’ve had a few interviews, but always feel the need to tell them I’m pregnant. I suppose I could leave out that detail, but I’m an honest person, and don’t want to start a job by withholding critical information. So I sit with my new master’s degree and not a job in sight. Luckily, I don’t have any student loans, but I hate mooching off my sister and her husband. Clearly, the whole adulting thing isn’t going great for me.
I park in the street, so I don’t block them in, then open my trunk. I’ve been living out of one suitcase, doing laundry in cheap hotels for weeks. I start rolling it up the driveway toward the back of the house.
His blue eyes hit me like a bolt of lightning. Most women would probably kill to find Ryder Merrick waiting by their front door, but I’m not most women. “How’d you find me?”
“I had your last name this time,” Ryder says. “Wasn’t hard.”
Why did I give him my name? That was stupid! Still, I’m at Addison’s house. Damn her for keeping her maiden name! Probably just made it easier for his agent or whoever to track me down.
“You can’t just show up here,” I say, walking past him toward the guest house. “How’d you even get here? Beat me home?”
“Private plane,” he says, like anyone should know that.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “You had some TV appearance.”
“I cancelled,” he says. “Family emergency.”
That one word stops me long enough for him to step closer. “Leave!” I shout.
“You came to me,” Ryder says, his voice softening. “You wanted me to know about the baby.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I wanted this!” I wanted to do the “right” thing and tell him. I never dreamed he’d care, or even remember me.
“What did you think would happen?” he asks.
“I thought I’d tell you and never see you again.”
“You really thought I would just leave you alone?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time!” I snap.
Like an idiot, I’d searched that hotel suite high and low, refusing to believe he didn’t leave me a note, his number, anything. I knew I wasn’t the first woman he’d brought back to his hotel room, but I stupidly believed I was different. I believed he felt something for me. Being book smart clearly doesn’t make me smart when it comes to men.
“Just admit it. I was your standard one and done. There’s no point in lying about it.”
“Kailey,” he says, a sharp tone to his voice. “I promise you . . .”
“You like to make promises you don’t keep,” I say, moving past him to my front door. “This is over.”
“I’d say this is just the beginning.”
His hand slowly reaches out, gently landing on my baby bump. I’m struck dumb by him again, but this time, I can’t let it continue. I’m carrying the outcome of the last time my brain abandoned my body.
“You shouldn’t have come here,” I say, stepping back, watching his fingers fall away from my stomach.
Releasing a deep breath, he looks into my eyes, saying, “I have a benefit show I’m doing tomorrow night. I’ll leave a seat open for you. We can have dinner after and . . .”
“Go to hell!” I say, struggling to keep my voice strong when I feel anything but, before opening my door and leaving him standing on the stoop.
“Kailey,” he begs, knocking on my door. “You’re not getting rid of me. I’ll leave a seat open for you for the rest of my life if I have to.”
CHAPTER FOUR
I was the jock
You were just the trouble I was looking for
Ryder
Front row seat all the way at the end of the row—stayed empty all night. She didn’t show. How the fuck can she not show?
And now I’m heading to do the interview that I skipped last night—some talk show to discuss the end of the tour, what my upcoming plans are. Staring out the window of the limousine, I consider my next move, trying to ignore Maggie sitting next to me.
A baby? My baby?
In theory, a guy knows that when he has sex, pregnancy is always a possibility. It’s just we choose not to think about that as soon as our dicks get hard. I know jack shit about babies and pregnancy. My mom died when I was very young. After that, it was just me, my younger brother, and my dad. There was a lot of testosterone in that house.
The only thing my dad ever taught us about babies was to avoid making one. And come to think of it, it was more of a threat than a lesson. Apparently, I failed. Another example in the long line of me disappointing my old man, only he’s not around to see this one, having passed away several years ago.
Some men in my position might be grateful the woman didn’t want anything to do with them, be glad to be off the hook. I’ve got my reasons for wanting the opposite. Things I don’t talk about. I also know what it’s like to not have an intact family. No kid should go through that. I won’t let my kid feel that kind of pain or rejection. No fucking way.