They spent a delightful evening dining and talking, and Diana began to relax. Perhaps they wouldn’t come a cropper, tripped up by an awkward question here or there. She was fascinated by the relationship Evan had with his parents. They were kind, cordial, warm, not a harsh word or criticism amongst them. Oh, they teased one another, and they laughed, but none of their humor was mean-spirited. And all the while, they passed the baby from one set of arms to another, something her father never would’ve countenanced—never even thought of doing, keeping a child with adults during dinner.
Was this what family was supposed to be? Harmonious, enjoyable, safe? Diana hoped the evening wouldn’t end.
When it came time to climb the steps to the bedrooms, Evan held Diana back with his hand on her arm. As soon as his parents—his mother still cuddling the now-sleeping Cian—turned the corner of the staircase, he lowered his voice. “I had the innkeeper put my folks’ things in my room and make up a cot in the room we’ve been using as an office for Beth and the baby. I know it’s a cheek, but I’ve had my things moved into your room.”
Her mouth dried to dust. They would sleep in the same room tonight?
His blue eyes glittered in the light of the candle he carried, and her heart knocked against her ribs. She struggled for some aplomb, but no words came.
“If you don’t care for the idea, I can bivouac with the men in the stable loft.”
He wore a grimace, and she knew he would lose face when it became known that he wasn’t sleeping inside the inn.
“Of course you must stay in my room.” Her breath hitched, and she was thankful for the low light. “Our room.”
She led the way up the stairs, her mind whirling, unable to grasp any thought for long. He followed closely with the candle, and he opened the door for her. Sure enough, his cases had been moved in, and Beth’s and Cian’s moved out.
Lighting a brace of candles on the table, he said, “I’ll head outside for a few minutes so you can ready yourself for sleep.”
Grateful for a few moments’ reprieve, but afraid he would come back before she was prepared, she hurried out of the dress she’d changed into before dinner and into a nightgown. She sat at the small dressing table, staring at her reflection in the candlelight. Her eyes looked too big for her face, dark pools in her pale skin. With chilly fingers, she pulled the pins from her hair, letting it tumble down over her shoulders.
A light tap sounded on the door, and Evan stepped inside. She met his eyes in the mirror and rose, too restless to stay seated.
He crossed the small room and took her chilly hands in his. “Diana, I had wanted to give you time to get to know me better and for me to get to know you, but circumstances have arisen that have changed my mind about when we should consummate our marriage.”
She nodded, head down. What circumstances?
“I thought to give you my reasons, and after you’ve heard them, you can agree or refuse.”
He squeezed her hands, and she raised her chin to look him in the eyes, testing his sincerity. She had a choice? She could agree or disagree? Some of her nervousness fled with the knowledge that she at least had some say in what was going to happen to her.
“First, I believe we should have our bridal night because it is one of the purposes of marriage, and it is right in the eyes of God, the church, and mankind. We are to be fruitful and multiply.”
Diana had no argument with that logic. She understood her duty to be a wife to him in that sense, and to provide him with an heir.
“Second, Marcus informed me that your father could very well be scheming even now for a way to annul the marriage and get his hands on your fortune. If we consummate our union, he will not be able to have the marriage dissolved on that count.”
An icy hand gripped her heart and squeezed. She could not go back to her father, and she could not take Cian into that house again. If lying with her husband would forestall that happening, she would not protest.
“And third …” His voice deepened. “Because I want to. I find you very beautiful, sweet, and desirable. I am blessed to be your husband.”
Her breath quickened at the intensity of his gaze. So he did desire her. Her confidence blossomed, and she returned the pressure of his hands.
“And yet I must confess, I am … reluctant to share this room with you, for …” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I suffer from the occasional nightmare.” His eyes popped open. “I would not have you think me disturbed. It is just that I have seen much in battle, and sometimes my mind, while I am asleep, returns to the skirmishes and conflicts. If I should begin to stir in sleep or even to mumble, please do not be alarmed, and do not be afraid to wake me.”
He looked so vulnerable, even … ashamed? Was that the real reason he had delayed so long?
“I have been known to have the occasional bad dream myself.”
“The choice is yours, Diana. Do you want me to stay, knowing that if I do, we will be man and wife before dawn?”
A sense of calm came over her, and all because he had given her a choice. For that alone she would have done nearly anything for him. But there was a remnant of shyness, and she couldn’t speak the words. She nodded.
His expression softened, and his hands came up to cup her shoulders, drawing her to him slowly. With infinite patience, he lowered his head, giving her plenty of time to lean away if she chose.
But she did not so choose. It was time, and she raised her face. His lips skimmed her forehead, her cheek, and then her mouth. Heat spiraled through her middle, and her eyes closed on a sigh. His hands moved from her shoulders to frame her cheeks, warm and large, holding her still, but she didn’t feel trapped.
Everything about this felt new, exciting, and … right, because it was this man. Her husband. Evan deepened the kiss, his arms coming around her waist and his hand spreading on her back. Her arms drifted up about his neck, and she surrendered herself into his keeping.
Slowly withdrawing, his eyes ardent, he eased his hold on her long enough to bend to blow out the candles on the dressing table and plunge the room into darkness.
Hours later, she lay awake beside her husband. His steady breathing told her he was asleep, but Diana couldn’t find slumber.
She was different now. Everything that had been forbidden her just weeks ago was now right and good. She could never go back to not knowing.
She listened to his even breaths, turning as gently as she could onto her side to study his faint profile in the darkness. They were husband and wife now.
Did that mean she could trust him? He had been nothing but kind to her, providing, protecting, concerning himself with her wants and needs. And he had approved of her input on the house.
His protection and provision had extended to Cian, seeing that he had food and warmth and comfort, even though Evan believed him to be the illegitimate son of her maid. He hadn’t banished the child or the “mother.”
Would he be as accepting if he knew that Cian was her nephew and that she had stolen him out of her father’s house and had been deceiving him right along about who the child really was?
He had been willing to protect her from the possibility that her father would annul the marriage. She would trust him, in the morning, with her secret. Thank You, Lord, for putting me into this man’s care. I prayed for an escape from my father’s control, and You provided one.