I joined her, then we headed to her penthouse.
After a few minutes of silence, she spoke. “So?”
“I like him, Renee. But that’s not what I want to talk about.”
“Oh?”
“William made it sound like you’re dragging your feet in this relationship.”
Her eyes narrowed on my face. “He told you that?”
“A lot of things were said.”
“I was gone for five minutes.”
“We both get to the point. Another reason I like him.”
“What is your point, Dax?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“I just want to give you some advice. If you like this guy, you’re serious about him, don’t guard your heart. Don’t keep your walls up. Be honest. Because anything less might jeopardize what you have.”
She turned her gaze out the window.
“He really cares for you, Renee. It’s easy to see.”
“He loves me…”
“Yeah, I can tell.”
She turned back to me. “After everything you went through with Rose…I guess I’m scared.”
“If someone intends to deceive you, no amount of paranoia will allow you to see it before it’s too late. The people who try to use you and manipulate are actors. They’ll trick you, and as terrible as it is to say, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. But if you continue to keep your walls up at all times, you’ll stop everyone from getting to you, both good and bad. I don’t know him well, but he seems like the real deal.”
“He is.”
“Then you shouldn’t care what I think, Renee.”
She rolled her eyes. “I can’t help it, okay? I don’t have a father to walk me down the aisle. I don’t have a father to grill a man I bring home for Christmas. You’re all I have.” She looked out the window again. “Your opinion means a lot to me, and since it’s just the two of us, I want you to be close to the man I marry.”
I digested those words. “Is this a man you think you’ll marry?”
She nodded. “I love him.”
I’d only seen them together once, and I could picture them ending up together. William wore his heart on his sleeve, so I could watch it beat for my sister—right at the dinner table. “I’m sure I will be, Renee. You’re so smart. You know how to pick the good ones from the bad ones.”
“But you’re smart too…”
Not smart enough.
“I really hated Rose, even when you were together, and I felt like it put a wall between us. I don’t want that to happen again with the man I decide to be with.”
My past would continue to haunt me forever. It affected every relationship I ever had, sabotaged my relationship with the woman who really blew my mind. “It won’t. Nothing will ever stop us from being close. Rose was the biggest mistake of my life, and I won’t repeat it. I’ve learned from my stupidity. You could never lose me.”
She turned back to me, her eyes soft, a little wet. “You really like him?”
“Why would I invite him to basketball if I didn’t?”
For the first time that night, she relaxed. She finally took a breath and let her shoulders fall.
“Now that I know how you really feel about him, I’ll do what I can to bond with him. I can’t force a relationship if the chemistry isn’t there, but I think he and I are compatible. Don’t worry about it.”
She nodded. “Well…I’m glad we had this talk.”
“Yeah, me too.”
The car stopped in front of her penthouse.
She looked out the window before she turned back to me. “I really miss Mom and Dad. When I see William with his parents, it makes me sad.”
I hated seeing my sister in pain, seeing the sadness I couldn’t fix. “Me too.”
“I know we aren’t super close, but I’d like to be.”
I hadn’t put in much effort, because I’d been too busy fighting Rose and dealing with the depression afterward. I hadn’t been emotionally available until I met Carson in that bar. That was the moment I was ready to feel something. “I would too, Renee.”
Six
Carson
I was in the booth alone, drinking my glass of wine, when Denise walked in wearing her light blue scrubs and joined me. Her hair was curled but slicked in a short ponytail, and after working a twelve-hour shift, she still looked crisp.
“I’m so jealous of your work outfit.”
She laughed. “Baggy clothes covered in people’s germs?”
“Uh…let’s skip the hug.”
“That’s what I thought.” She got the waitress’s attention and ordered a beer. “I would love to get cute every day for work. Dresses, skirts, heels…that’s the one thing I dislike about my job.”
“It gets old. You have to pick out what you’re going to wear the night before…too much work.”
“That’s why I try to look good outside of work, because I don’t get the opportunity often.”
The waitress brought the drink and walked away.
“Are you still writing that editorial piece on Dax?” She took a sip.
“Yeah. We do mostly hard-hitting news, but people don’t always want to read about scandals, wars, crimes against humanity. Sometimes they just want a good story. The history of his company is interesting. It’s rare for a Fortune 500 company to remain a family company for so long. It has the corporate power but also the quaintness of a family-run business.”
“And that’s just…totally normal?”
I knew what point she was trying to make. “Honestly, it’s been really nice. I like being friends. When we were fooling around, I felt like I didn’t really know him, and not just because he was lying to me at the time. Now, I actually know who he is, and there’s no pressure, so…it’s easy.”
“It’s because you aren’t risking anything.”
“Maybe,” I said with a shrug.
“But those old feelings? They just went away?”
“Uh, no,” I said with a laugh. “I still want to jump his bones sometimes. But those feelings I had when we were seeing each other are gone. His betrayal kinda erased all that.”
“But you don’t seem mad at him anymore.”
“I’m not one to hold a grudge.” I ended the relationship, and he accepted that. No point in living in the past anymore. He shouldn’t have lied to me, not when I was so scarred, but I understood his reasoning and didn’t hate him for it. He was still a good person in my eyes. He wasn’t a heartless, lying son of a bitch like my ex-husband.
“I guess that’s good. He seems like a good guy. Maybe you two can try again later.”
I drank from my glass and smeared my lipstick onto the edge. “No.”
“Then you are holding a grudge.”
“No. It’s just that kind of trust is broken. That’s all.”
“Well, I don’t see how you can be friends with someone if you don’t trust them, and you seem to be good friends already.”