Was I only a meathead with fists?
What happened a few minutes ago would confirm that assumption. I was no different than my family. In my efforts to not become who they were, I became my worst nightmare.
The fear of who I was slowly becoming washed over me. All those years of learning anger management techniques, of channeling all my energy and focus to football and grades and the future. For what?
I’d punched a freakin’ teammate, for crying out loud.
All that work to keep my distance from anyone who could make me feel, all these years of keeping everyone out so no one could get hurt by me and my father’s genes. And for what?
One glimpse of Eve in some other guy’s arms and I’d been undone. All that work had gone up in smoke and all that was left was a meathead who punched first and asked questions later. An idiot who hurt the one girl he’d wanted to protect.
And now, seeing the amount of pain that I’d caused Eve, I threw caution to the wind and stepped up to her. I wanted to be the old Cooper. The one who wasn’t afraid of what his genetic stock was going to do to him or the people he cared about.
So I reached out and wrapped my arms around Eve. I’d done it once before, a long time ago when she was distraught about her dog dying and Trenton was being anything but supportive, so why would it matter now?
Apparently, it mattered. She tensed when my arms tightened around her and I got this undeniable urge to pull back. But I forced myself to stay. We had been friends once, I could be that again. Despite the way I felt about her, for a moment, I was going to do something right for her.
“Cooper?” she whispered.
I paused, waiting for her to continue. I expected her to pull away, but she didn’t. Instead, I slowly felt her relax and suddenly, her arm was around my back.
“Thank you.” Her voice was muffled by my shirt and it took me a moment to figure out that she’d just thanked me.
It felt weird. I punched a guy, why was she thanking me?
“For what?” I asked as I pulled back, dropping my arms to my side and shoving my hands into my front pockets. I kept my gaze on the ground, fearing what I might feel if I raised it to meet hers.
“For watching out for me. I kind of got in too deep back there.” She blew out her breath as she glanced up to the dark, starry sky. “I should have known better than to go to a party.” She dropped her gaze to her dress and pulled awkwardly at the skirt. “Or wear this.” She scoffed. “What was I thinking?”
Anger rose up inside of me. Anger at Alex who would make her feel anything but what she was—beautiful. Anger that she doubted herself. Flashes of her in her room, staring at her reflection snapped into my memory and the desire to demolish the thoughts that I knew were plaguing her clouded my judgement.
“You’re beautiful. Alex is a prick. You are amazing.” The words spilled from my lips before I could police them. But once they were out into the world, a weight lifted off my shoulders. Saying what I thought felt like a breath of fresh air. I felt lighter. I felt...happy.
Eve glanced up and met my gaze. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t break the connection that was zapping between us. I wanted—no, needed her to know what I thought. I needed her to know the truth about her. And there was no way that I was going to allow Alex to dictate her self worth.
She was so much more than how he treated her.
The longer I held her gaze, the quicker a sense of fear flashed in her eyes. As if she were feeling something right along with me.
My heart thumped painfully against my ribcage. Did she feel it? Was her heart racing, too? Was her body reacting to this closeness?
Better question, does it matter?
No. Even if she felt this connection, it wouldn’t change a thing. The voice of reason had me taking a step back, breaking the tension that was growing between us, threatening to turn into something else. Something more.
But it couldn’t. I wouldn’t let it.
I clapped my hands and then rubbed them together. I shot her a half smile. “How was that for a big brother pep talk?”
Eve stared at me for a moment and then she furrowed her brows. “Big brother...right.” She sighed and then shrugged as she wrapped her arms around her chest. “I’d give you a five.”
I stared at her. “Out of ten or five?”
She blew out her breath. “Ten.”
“Ouch,” I said as I clutched my heart.
She shrugged. “Be nicer to me and that number could go up.”
A slow smile spread across my lips. A challenge. I liked a good challenge.
“Is that a promise?” There was a note of teasing in my voice that hadn’t been there in a long, long time, and it felt good. Teasing felt normal. More normal than whatever it was that had been going on between us these past few months.
I arched a brow, a sort of challenge of my own. “Well?”
Eve’s eyes were wide with surprise and she was staring at me like she expected me to jump up and shout ‘psyche!’
Strangely enough, her shock added to my new confidence. Maybe I wasn’t as easy to read as I’d once thought. I’d been worried for so long now that I’d been wearing my feelings for Eve on my sleeve. But from her recent reactions to me, I was beginning to understand that she was more oblivious than I thought.
I mean, the girl honestly thought I was into Holly. Clearly she had no idea how much I felt for her.
And that made me feel more comfortable around her. At least now, I could be nicer without her thinking it meant more. And being closer to Eve was all I wanted—all I’d ever wanted.
“Sure?” she finally said in an uncertain manner.
I gave her a wide smile which caused her to pull back. She looked fearful but I just shrugged as I leaned in closer to her.
“Game on.”
Chapter 7
Eve
More than a week later and I still wasn’t entirely sure what to make of this change in Cooper. Something had shifted in him and as much as I liked seeing the old familiar guy I’d grown up with, it wasn’t doing anything for my resolve to get over my crush. Not liking Cooper was much easier to do when he was a jerk. A lot harder to do when he acted like my knight in shining armor.
“You sure you don’t mind waiting?” Copper asked. He was frowning down at me with concern as he hovered just outside the locker room doors, the other guys from the football team streaming past us, barely giving us a second look.
I supposed people were used to seeing us hanging out together at this point, and while Alex’s eyes narrowed a bit when he passed, he didn’t say a word.
Cooper told me he’d apologized to Alex, but I suspected after that epic knockout, Alex wasn’t going to be hitting on me again anytime soon.
“I don’t mind waiting,” I said for the tenth time as I brought my attention back to Cooper.
His frown intensified, his brows drawing down into a scowl.
So sure, to a random passerby Cooper looked like the same scowling jerk hovering over me. But...he wasn’t. Something had changed. I wasn’t even sure how to explain it, but something had shifted in him after that crazy night the other weekend.
He was still overprotective, but he’d lost that edge. He still had a wall around him, but now I saw some holes. Occasionally I’d catch a smile, his commands were tempered by teasing, and when he frowned down at me like he was doing right now? I was beginning to learn that it was more out of concern than annoyance.