Mom was always gone at work. Ever since Dad went to prison, she was in charge of the mortgage, food, and all the other expenses that Dad had once taken care of, but now couldn’t. Not when he decided not only to embezzle money from the company he worked for, but also decided that it was a good idea to beat his once boss into a coma.
There was no denying what Dad had done, which was why his actions landed him in prison. And not too long after that, my older brother Connor joined him. Connor had inherited my father’s temper.
We both had.
But I’d at least found ways to deal with it, to keep that simmering rage from boiling over. I’d learned how to stay focused, to maintain control. Not because I was some saint or something, but because I didn’t want to end up like him.
Like them.
I sighed as I flopped onto my stomach and raised the remote up to change the channel. The only thing I did on the weekends was watch TV and veg. With Trenton gone, I had nothing else to do. My schedule was too crazy for a job, and let’s be real, once a potential employer read my last name, I was for sure a no. Every time.
Nothing was keeping my interest on cable, so I clicked the TV off and rolled to my back to stare up at the ceiling. The white paint was yellowing and a few spiderwebs hung down from the corners. I contemplated getting up and pulling them down, but that thought left as quickly as it had come.
Why did I care? This was a crap house that held crap memories. Spiderwebs were a perfect depiction of what my life was like. Gloomy and depressing.
I closed my eyes and forced a beach scene into my mind. That was one of the techniques my old guidance counselor had given me when my dad first got locked up and my own anger issues started to show. Visualize something calming, that was what she’d told me.
It didn’t always work, but it was better than sitting here stewing over the way Eve had gone out of her way to avoid me at school on Friday or the way she’d bitten my head off at the academy.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing my muscles to relax. Just as I settled down into the sand, someone called my name. Confused, I tipped my head to the side to see Eve running through the sand. Her dark hair flowed behind her and her lips were tipped up into a wide smile as she waved at me.
My entire body heated as my gaze went from her face, down to the light teal bikini that she was wearing. A wave of desire rushed through me as I took in her long legs, flat stomach, and…
I ripped my eyes open and a protective surge pounded through my veins. I laid there as I took in a few deep breaths—anything to calm the rage inside of me. Even in my daydreams I was torn in two. Part of me wanted to leap up and cover her with a towel. The other part of me wanted to reach out and pull her into my arms.
I covered my face with my hands and growled at myself. It was a daydream, that was it. There was no deciding what I was going to do. It was me, living in a fantasy. A fantasy where Eve smiled when she saw me. A fantasy where she willingly walked toward me. A fantasy where I could actually show her exactly how I felt about her—instead of doing what I was currently doing.
Apparently she couldn’t pick up on the fact that I had feelings for her while I was standing over her, dictating exactly what I wanted her to do all in the name of protection. Or when I was pulling her away from the walking hormone named Alex, who touched her every chance he got.
I sat up and grabbed my phone. Tonight was Holly’s party and even though I’d been determined to stay out of it, my ridiculous daydream mixed with memories of Alex touching Eve wouldn’t leave me alone.
All I could think about was Alex touching Eve while she wore a bikini tonight, and even though I was sure that wasn’t going to be her outfit of choice, I needed to be there just in case it was.
I found Ethan’s number and shot off a text.
Me: Going to Holly’s?
I stood and made my way into my room. I needed to shower and dress before I made my way over to Eve’s. I needed to make sure she wasn’t wearing anything too revealing. By the time I’d pulled my shirt off, Ethan responded.
Ethan: Yep. Colette’s dragging me. You?
Me: Yeah, I decided to go. I’ll see you there.
Ethan shot back a thumbs up emoji. I left my phone on my dresser as I headed into my bathroom to shower. It didn’t take long before I was clean and dry. I styled my hair—but then felt like an idiot so rubbed my fingers through it to give it more a disheveled look. I wasn’t sure who I was trying to kid. I wasn’t the hair-gelled, button-down kind of guy. I wore jeans and a t-shirt with a hat.
Anything beyond that made me look like I was trying too hard.
And I wasn’t trying, I reminded myself. Not with Eve, at least. I was only going tonight to make sure she didn’t get into trouble and to make sure Alex kept his distance.
I’d made a promise, and that’s all this was. I was keeping Eve safe.
After picking out a black t-shirt and dark jeans, I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my wallet and keys and headed out the door. I climbed into my truck—an inherited gift from my brother when he got locked up—and sped down the road.
It was like instinct, driving to Eve’s house. I knew the route like I knew the back of my hand and before I was even ready, I was pulling alongside her house and turning off the engine. Her house was lit up and I could see her siblings as they bounced on the couch in the living room. I watched as her mom came in and yelled something and the two munchkins settled down for a moment, only to resume once their mom left.
I chuckled as I pulled my keys from the engine and set them in the center cup holder. I used to crash here all the time when Trenton was home and I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t miss it—because I did. There was something homey about their house. They were loud but not just in speech. They laughed in a way that made everyone around them grin in response.
And I missed that.
Mom had one mood, tired. As much as I tried to help out, she still came home looking as if she held the entire weight of the world on her shoulders. Dad’s actions had beat her down and when Connor followed suit, Mom collapsed in on herself. It hurt, but there was nothing I could do. She was a shell of the woman that I’d grown up with.
Sitting here, watching the family that I’d once thought of as my own laughing and living, it made my entire heart ache. So much so that I found myself lifting my hand and clutching my chest. I felt like if I let go, it was going to crumble into a million pieces and I was never going to be able to piece it back together.
Three solid knocks on my window caused me to jump and whip around only to see Mr. Lawson standing there with a huge grin on his face. When my gaze met his, he lifted his hand from the window and gave me a short wave.
I nodded and moved to pull on the door release. As soon the door was open a few inches, Mr. Lawson grabbed the edge and swung it open.
“Hey, Coop. Long time no see,” he said as he stood there with his signature goofy smile on his face.
Realizing that my escape route was now closed, I nodded as I unbuckled and slid down to the ground. Thankfully, Mr. Lawson moved so that we weren’t standing inches from each other, but he stayed close enough as if he sensed my desire to run. Once I was within reach, Mr. Lawson clapped his hand onto my shoulder and squeezed it.
Not sure what to do, I nodded once more and then moved to slam my door. Mr. Lawson started talking about our football season as he led me across the driveway and up the front walk to the door. He explained that he was taking out the garbage when he saw me and was excited for some older man talk. Apparently, George wasn’t quite Trenton. I just listened as he talked, which was pretty much how I interacted with all the Lawsons. They talked, they laughed...I listened.