“Query. What sort of preference?”
“Preference regarding entertainment.”
Max hoped that Rick was about to ask about some inconsistency in the Star Wars movies. Max didn't remember the prequel as well as he should have, so he had no doubt that he'd screwed up any number of details. However, if this was about to turn sexual, Max would rather avoid inappropriate conversations, and that went double when children were present. It went triple when he needed time to patch a few rough spots on his own soul.
Rick gently reclaimed his smallest son, shifting Xander to the side. However, he continued to hold Max’s wrist. The red-tipped end of Rick’s tentacle even curled around Max’s fingers in an alien version of holding hands that came too close to Max’s feelings for comfort. No way did Rick understand that the sort of respect and care and patience Rick had shown would trip Max’s trigger, and holding tentacles probably meant something like gratitude. Max just wished it didn’t hit so close to what he wanted. If Rick had been a human male, Max would’ve climbed him like a tree. But he wasn’t. He was a bit of a helicopter octopus who didn’t understand human feelings and why it hurt to hold hands.
“Query. What prerequisites are required for the activation of the reproductive system?”
Shit. Max had hoped the conversation wouldn’t go there. “Query. Why do you require this context?” he countered.
“I wish to understand why I activated the reproductive system the time I touched you for implanting of offspring.”
Max closed his eyes. The universe hated him. It did. However, he didn’t want to verbally strike out at a guy who had suffered a shitty week. “It's like I said. If I'm in pain, you can’t activate the reproductive system because I won't enjoy it. I don't like being in pain.”
“Avoidance of pain is a universal trait.” Rick seemed remarkably sure of that, and Max chose not to strip him of his illusions. Avoiding pain was not universal. Sometimes it scared Max how many people liked trading a little pain with sex.
“Well then, you have your answer. The required prerequisite is lack of pain.”
Rick didn’t answer for some time, but he also didn’t let go of Max’s wrist. “Query. Is there no other prerequisite?”
“What you mean? That was a query, by the way.”
“If a law enforcers from ship had put a tentacle inside your body, would that have activated your reproductive system?”
Max so wanted to avoid this. And if he couldn’t, he wished he could treat the whole thing like a joke, but his words about being an ambassador echoed in his head and mocked him. He was an officer. He had an obligation not to fuck this up royally. That meant he had to choose his words carefully. “Hell no. I didn't understand what was going on, and those guys were rude. They yanked me out of my plane and then acted like I was unreasonable for requesting that they put me back where they found me.”
“Query. Why would law enforcers remove you from your mode of transportation?”
“There was something about my plane being about to blow up.”
Rick’s tentacles all twitched, and the one holding Max’s wrist jerked hard enough to pull Max through the water a short distance. Now he and Rick floated mere inches apart. “Query. You wished to return to the plane before it blew up?”
“No. But I wished to be in my plane and not have my plane blow up. I wished I was still on Earth. I wished many things, and the law enforcers were not good at explaining anything.”
“Query. Clarification. Pain and confusion preclude the activation of reproductive system.”
Max had never thought of it that way, but it was weirdly accurate. “Yes.”
“Query. Are any other conditions required?”
Max sighed. He didn’t normally reflect on feelings this much. Being gay meant he had the freedom to opt out of certain “manly” activities. Peer pressure had never convinced him to play football or engage in middle school games that had involved punching friends. However, Max was guilty of avoiding emotion. And when he didn’t avoid it, he sucked at it. The military hadn’t exactly discouraged the trait. “You're asking me a question I can't answer. Human beings are all different. Some people's reproductive systems turn on for different activities or in different circumstances. I can't give you an answer for why a human's reproductive system turns on.”
“I do not ask about humans. I understand individuals are different within a species. I ask about you.” Rick shifted so his tentacles floated around Max in a mock almost-hug. They brushed across Max’s arms and back, and shivers ran up Max’s spine.
“Are there other prerequisites for turning on the reproductive system of Max?” Rick asked.
Max focused on Xander curled around his father. When he was right up against Rick, the contrast in colors was more noticeable. Xander had no green at all. From the top of his head to the end of each tentacle, he was a creamy beige. Rick tightened the circle of his tentacles and increased the gentle touches. “Query. Why are you asking for the reasons my reproductive system turned on?”
“I require context. I do not understand Max Davis.”
Max snorted. “Join the club.”
“Query. Clarify club.”
“Sex is not easy to explain. I dislike that my reproductive system turned on that first time. You should not have to deal with me spilling genetic material.”
“Query. Would that be gross?”
Max laughed. “Yes. It was gross. And I am old enough that I should not be gross.”
“Query. Does that imply you were in pain or confused when I examined you for implantation of offspring?”
Max pulled at his hand. Rick held on for a time before letting go. Max did a backstroke to retreat from the area, but Rick followed. When Max was near the water filtration island, Rick caught his ankle. Damn aliens and their ability to hang on to umpteen things at once. Max caught the edge of the filtration island, and Rick drifted close enough to hold Xander in the currents.
Rick floated a few feet away and withdrew his tentacles. “Query. Did I harm or confuse you?”
“No,” Max answered quickly. He watched Kohei spinning closer.
“Query. Would you want reproductive entertainment again?”
“What?” Max spun around to stare at Rick with horror. “Why would you ask that?”
Rick floated and stared at Max so long that Max thought the lack of a “Query” marker in front of the question confused him, but then Rick said, “I am without context.”
“For our sex? Simple, the computer mistranslated surrogate for nanny and you did things that caused my reproductive system to turn on.” And that was the unsexiest description of tentacle sex Max could manage.
“Confirmation. You said humans enjoy sex.”
“Yes,” Max said, feeling a little like he was walking in a minefield.
“Clarify. Query. Why would you avoid sex if you enjoy it and I meet the prerequisite conditions?”
Max closed his eyes and leaned back. Lord help him. He was about to lose his mind trying to explain shit that should be repressed and forgotten. However, he wanted to avoid miscommunication. Besides, if Rick’s people found their way to Earth, he didn’t want them all offering sex based on Max’s unhelpful descriptions.