Home > Earth Fathers Are Weird (Earth Fathers #1)(37)

Earth Fathers Are Weird (Earth Fathers #1)(37)
Author: Lyn Gala

Rick tightened his hold on Max’s wrist. “Invaders want me. I create numbers that computers use.”

“Clarify. You’re a programmer,” Max said.

“Programmer,” Rick echoed. “I computer programmer for instructions that...” At this point the translator completely broke down, but Max could think of a number of different endings for that sentence. Rick could be involved in cybersecurity or weapons development or any number of other valuable fields. Hell, maybe Max was sitting in a room with the alien version of Tony Stark. Max considered Rick and the shy way he held Max’s wrist and inched closer bit by bit.

Maybe not. Rick was far too shy to be Iron Man.

Rick continued. “I thought ship safe. I thought I hidden my work.”

Max didn’t need to understand the various belches to hear the guilt. “I should have killed the last guy,” Max said.

Rick blasted a whale song. “Better this way,” Rick said. “He will tell others that humans are terror-causing and violent to defend offspring. Scare universe. They treat you like moron, so they deserve terror.”

Max laughed. “You have a mean streak.”

Rick twirled slowly. “No streak. Just mean.”

Max’s laughter grew so wild that he collapsed back onto his bunk. That was the sort of meanness Max could get behind.

 

 

Chapter Twenty

 

 

Max walked into the pool room, trying to ignore the sudden distance between himself and Rick. Rick followed several steps behind, and until this moment, Max had not realized how he had grown used to having Rick hovering at his elbow all the time, even after the offspring were born. Sure, there was a period where they spent almost no time together because they were taking shifts with Xander. At most one of them had sat at the edge of the pool and talked.

But when Xander had gotten large enough to push them away and swim on his own, they had fallen back into their old patterns. When Max had given up on translations for the day, he would get into the pool with the kids, and Rick would show up shortly after.

The minute Max saw Kohei spinning in circles, the tightness in his chest eased. He stripped off his shirt as he walked toward the pool. “Hey kids, looking good,” he called out.

Three translator voices using three different pitches all cried out, “Max!”

Max slipped out of his pants so that he could get in the water, but James was already out and reaching for him. “Max Father, I told them. I told them how you...” At that point, the computer failed and all Max heard was whale song. He needed to spend some time with the translation matrix trying to define the more violent end of the universe. Maybe the work would distract him from the guilt of exposing James to that sort of brutality.

James curled his tentacles around Max's wrist. Xander slapped the pool with his long tentacles and Kohei abandoned his pirouettes. When Max waded in, the offspring crowded near. Max turned around to look at Rick, who still kept a certain distance, although he was inching closer.

“Rick Father,” Xander called. He ran his tentacles across Max’s arm before he swam for his father.

Rick quickly entered the water and pulled Xander close.

“Your father's work is valuable. Now I know I have to keep him safe,” Max said. He could only hope that time would help Rick get more comfortable with the idea that Max was a warrior. Everything Max had done was to protect the family, so it felt unfair that his actions had put an emotional distance between them.

James let go of Max and swam over to his father, where he curled his tentacles around Rick’s. “I help. I protect Rick Father and Xander Sibling and Kohei Sibling.”

“You were much help.” Rick curled his tentacles around his son. Kohei had glommed onto Max's left hand, but now he launched himself toward his father. Max smiled as he watched them all crowd around Rick. The offspring were not the most social children in all creation, so it felt nice to see them connecting. After a second, Xander's tentacles escaped the general mass and started reaching for Max.

Half-afraid that Rick would retreat from him, Max moved closer. Xander stretched until he could wrap his tentacles around Max’s arm. Then Xander pulled with significantly more strength than Max had realized the little one possessed. The next thing Max knew, he was engulfed by tentacles as Xander drew him closer. It felt good.

And cold.

“Query. Did someone reduce the temperature on the pool?” Max asked.

Rick answered. “Invaders wanted conservation of energy to recharge their ship.”

The offspring shifted and Max was pulled closer until pressed up against Rick's warm central head. “You do have the heat turned up, though, right? Query?”

“I do,” Rick agreed. He raised a tentacle as if expecting Max to flee. Eventually he wrapped it around Max's waist.

The offspring had claimed Max's left hand and his entire arm was wrapped in tentacles, but he reached around with his right to embrace Rick. When he touched something slick, the folds of skin warned him that he had touched Rick’s eyeball. Rick was smooth everywhere except where his tentacles met his body and around his eyes. “I'm sorry,” Max blurted.

“Query. What do you regret?” Rick tried withdrawing his tentacle, but Kohei wrapped his own tentacles around it, holding Rick in place.

“I regret touching your eye,” Max said. “I apologize for touching your eye.”

The eye closest to Max dilated. “Eyes are to be touched.”

“Seriously?” A full-body shudder ran through Max.

No one answered him, but given that Max had not properly marked the question he wasn't surprised. He tried again. “Clarify. Human eyes are not for touching. Query. Can I touch the eyes of the people?”

“Understood. I will not touch your eyes,” Rick said. “You may touch my eyes with comfort.” Rick tightened his tentacle around Max’s waist again.

And there they were, right back to the alien and bizarre conversations they'd had before invaders had decided to attack the ship. Max leaned into Rick's head and shivered. Rick might be a wonderful hot water bottle, but Max's limbs were still slowly losing feeling.

“Are the offspring safe in such cold water?”

“I am cold, cold. Kohei warm. Kohei keep me warm,” Xander said with a hnng-hnng noise added onto the end.

“I warm too.” James crawled over Max’s shoulder, lifting himself out of the water to perch on Max’s head.

“James is warm on land,” Xander complained.

“I am warm enough for Xander,” Kohei said, and that ended the escalations. Max smiled. It had sounded so much like him and Petey fighting over the Halloween candy that it was hard to believe he was on an alien ship.

“I think I am too cold to stay in the water,” Max said. He shivered. While he should swim to the edge, he hated leaving the little island of warmth he had found. But if he didn’t, his toes might freeze off. He had enough problems with potential kidney bruising, so he didn’t need to add frostbite. Max started to pull away from the family puppy pile.

James stayed on his head for a few seconds before he slid off, but when Max kicked his legs to swim toward the edge of the pool, Rick hung on. Max had to swim with his feet because Rick held so tightly all the way to firm ground, where Rick released him. “Query. Option. You may choose new living section,” Rick said.

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