Fuck.
“I was wondering where you’d gone after the meeting. I just had to give you this.”
He hands me a flash drive. I try to look at it instead of him.
“It contains the report we discussed during the meeting. I’d be happy if you added the items you suggested.”
I nod. “Sure.”
“Thank you.”
He leaves.
Wow. That’s it? Not so much as ‘What are you doing hiding here?’ or ‘Are you okay?’ He really no longer cares about me at all?
He’s been cold to me before, but this is different. This is indifference. It makes me think he never really cared about me at all.
I run toward the restroom because I can no longer breathe and I just know I’m about to cry, but I bump into Stella on the way.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her sincerely. “I didn’t hurt the baby, did I?”
She touches her belly and shakes her head. “No, no. The baby’s fine.”
“Good. I’m sorry. Really, I am. But I have to go.”
I start to run off.
“Violet?” Stella calls after me.
I stop.
“Are you okay?”
Tears sting the back of my eyes. Why did she have to ask me that question? Why did she have to care? Now, I feel… not okay.
“Violet?” Stella stands in front of me.
I say nothing. I can’t speak. If I open my mouth, I might start sobbing.
She should just leave me alone before I explode into a mess.
But she doesn’t. Instead, she grabs my hand and pulls me down the corridor. I’m confused.
“Where are we going?” I ask her.
“To have ice cream,” she answers. “It looks like you need a few scoops.”
~
I didn’t realize I did until I finished four, which must be a record for me.
As I place the spoon I’ve licked clean in the empty bowl, I feel better. I also feel a bit colder, but I do feel better. It’s like how you feel when you’ve been jogging for miles and you feel like giving up and then you suddenly feel this cold breeze on your face. Or like that snowball someone throws in your face when you don’t want to play because you’re sulking.
I feel better.
“Thanks,” I tell Stella.
“For the ice cream? Don’t thank me. These days, I can’t get enough ice cream even though it’s getting cold. I’m just glad I found someone to eat a heap with.”
A heap? Come to think of it, she did eat even more than me—five scoops, I think. Or was it six?
“The ice cream was good,” I tell her. “But I’m more grateful for the company.”
“You’re welcome,” Stella answers. “And actually, the company would be happy to be of more help.”
I give her a puzzled look. What was that?
“I mean if there’s something on your mind that you’d like to share with me, I’d be happy to listen,” Stella explains. “If you want, we can even order more ice cream, or maybe you can have coffee while you talk if that’ll help.”
I shake my head. “No, thanks. About the additional ice cream and the coffee, I mean.”
“And the fact that I’m willing to listen?” Stella asks.
I glance at my watch. “I’d love to, but I should get back to the office. I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving, so…”
“It’s fine. If Asher asks you where you went, you can just say you were with me. He shouldn’t complain then. If he does, I’ll kick his ass.”
My eyebrows furrow. “You can do that?”
She shrugs. “Well, maybe I shouldn’t, but Ethan won’t mind if I do.”
My eyes grow wide. “So you really are going out with Ethan Hawthorne.”
Stella gives me a puzzled look. “You didn’t know?”
I shake my head. “I had my suspicions, but I didn’t know it for sure.”
She chuckles.
I guess that means everyone knows.
She shows me her hand. “Actually, Ethan and I are engaged.”
“Whoa,” I exclaim as I see the diamond ring. “So you’re…?”
“Getting married? Yes, but after the baby is born. I don’t think I can handle a wedding right now.”
I guess it would be stressful trying to handle a wedding and a pregnancy at the same time.
“Congratulations,” I tell her.
She smiles. “Thanks.” Then she draws a breath. “So, you see, I promise you won’t get in trouble if you don’t go back to the office. Also, I may be practically Asher’s sister-in-law, but I can still be your friend.”
My eyes grow wide. “How did you know…?”
“I just had a feeling,” Stella says.
I think it’s more than that.
“If I’m right, then I may be able to help you more than you know. After all, I know how difficult the Hawthorne brothers can be.”
“Even Ethan?” I ask her curiously.
“Especially Ethan.”
She goes on to tell me how she and Ethan met, after which I feel obliged to tell her about what happened between me and Asher. I didn’t think I’d be able to talk about it, but Stella is surprisingly easy to talk to. Also, it feels good to get everything off my chest.
“That Asher,” Stella grumbles when I’m done talking. “Now I really want to kick his ass.”
My eyebrows arch. She’s on my side?
“So you think I did the right thing?” I ask her. “In confronting him and telling him I wanted nothing more to do with him?”
“You did the right thing.” She pats my hand. “But you know what? If there’s something I’ve learned, it’s that doing the right thing doesn’t necessarily make you happy. In fact, it rarely does.”
Her statement takes me by surprise.
“So I shouldn’t have done it?”
“I don’t think it matters what you should have or shouldn’t have done. You’ve already done it. What matters now is what you want to do next.”
I sigh. “What do you think I should do?”
“Hmm.” Stella touches her chin. “Maybe talk to Asher and give him another chance?”
“What?”
“I’ve told you this before. Asher may be a jerk. He may be awfully clueless about how other people feel. But he’s not a bad person. I think all this time, he’s been searching for someone he can really be with, someone who can really understand him and be there for him, someone who can love him and teach him how to love.”
“You’re saying I should teach him to love me?”
“You love him, don’t you?”
That question takes me even more by surprise. What?
“I can see it in your eyes,” Stella says. “I heard it in your voice.”
She did?
“But you don’t have to admit it to me. It’s fine. You’re the one who needs to know it.”
But I don’t know if I do.
“Even if you’re right, I don’t want to force someone to love me.”
“I didn’t say force,” Stella says. “I said teach. Asher feels something for you. I’m sure of it. You just have to give him time to develop it into something more. You have to teach him how to.”