I breathed out in relief, thankful he wasn’t going to hitch higher up my leg and tease me as payback for what I’d said to him in the room. Little did he know, I had my own torture happening. Didn’t need any extra from him. “You guys don’t have to stick around. Bennett and his team are more than capable of handling security and have been doing it since we opened. And a drive-by a few days ago doesn’t mean anything. For all you know it could’ve been someone else’s car.”
Ordinarily, I loved Jared spending time in my club. Even though my time was limited, I selfishly liked having him there. I liked those stolen kisses in my office. Those flirty glances he threw at me when I walked by. And then the hungry grab of his hands the minute I was done. It was completely unreasonable and greedy, but it made my night infinitely better.
But that was before.
And while I still wanted all those things, since my heart had gotten involved, I was going to need a minute.
Just a break to sort things through and work out what the hell I was going to do.
“You don’t want us to stay?” Jared asked, the subtext saying something entirely different. He wasn’t worried about security or Lewis or even my brother. He was asking me why I wouldn’t want him to stay, to steal those precious moments when we could.
“Presley’s right.” Tibbs loaded his plate with roast beef, agreeing with me for the first time in forever about backing off. “Bennett has it under control and we’d probably be more useful somewhere else. And of course, we’ll pick her up when she’s done. That’s not even an issue.”
I shook my head, shooting that idea down too. “Not necessary. Rae can drive me home. You both just go out and have a good time.”
Jared couldn’t hide the confusion on his face, probably wondering how we’d gone from flirting in his old bedroom to me telling him to go have fun elsewhere. But I needed the space, even if it was just for the night so I could sort through my feelings.
He’d understand. He was the most perfect man anyone could ever ask for. And when I untwisted all my thoughts and worked up the courage to tell him, he would know why.
At least, I hoped he would.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his heated look asking me to reconsider but I wouldn’t be swayed.
“Yep, it’s fine. Now let’s eat. I need to get to Diablo early for a staff meeting, so we either move this along, or I’m going to steal Elena.” I laughed, attempting to lighten the mood and teasing him about his beloved car.
“Hey, you leave her out of this. She’s done nothing to you.” He returned the playful banter, hopefully moving from his concern back to our happy flirty place. “No one drives my baby but me.”
“Then it’s settled. We eat, then leave, and Rae drives me home.” I forked some of the roast beef on my plate, spreading a smile across my lips.
“Whatever you want, Sis.” Tibbs nodded, heaping more food on his plate. “And then, maybe I’ll finally find out more about Leighton’s woman. I swear, I’m beginning to think you’re ashamed of either her or me.”
My eyes widened, praying to God dinner would go quickly. “And it sounds like your evening’s set too.”
I was so fucked.
Jared
FINGERING A WOMAN in my childhood bedroom probably wasn’t my finest moment. It had been hot, making her come in the same room I’d jerked off in a million times, juicing me up more than it should. Those saints and angels my mother had mounted to almost every wall were definitely judging me. The amount of Hail Marys and Our Fathers I’d need to get back into their good graces, more than I was able to offer.
And yet, I didn’t regret it.
Watching her come undone, the desperation in her eyes as I took her right over that edge was well worth the price of giving up the salvation of my soul. Hell, I’d even contemplated taking out my dick and making her come a second time, but wised up before I did something stupid.
No, what we’d done in that room hadn’t been stupid. Reckless, sure, and probably a little seedy, but not stupid. Because nothing I ever did with her would ever be stupid, even if there was a risk of me getting excommunicated from my family and a broken nose from her brother.
I loved it.
Loved those whimpers of desperation when she was right there. The way her eyes would widen as she tightened around me, those little tremors against my hand, mouth or cock, the best reward for a job well done.
And I’d assumed that appreciation was a two-way street, my commitment to making her scream my name as many times as possible something we both could agree was a good thing.
But.
She’d been weird when she came back down the stairs, her eyes slightly clouded as she appeared in what had to be my new favorite dress. It was a tough call and changed daily, the outfit I liked best usually the one she happened to be wearing at the time. Didn’t matter if it was a sexy black dress that stopped her from wearing a bra—like she’d been wearing—or a faded college hoodie and an old pair of jeans. She wore everything like it belonged in a magazine, my senses feasting over every inch.
And the change in her mood hadn’t been the outfit. My initial assessment was she’d been self-conscious about her outstanding cleavage on display. But that was sidelined when she told Tibbs and me not to come to Diablo.
It had nothing to do with the dress. And while she attempted to joke, smile and pretend like everything was fine, I had a hunch that maybe what we’d done in my old bedroom was responsible.
“You sure you don’t want to leave your car here?” Tibbs asked, watching as I climbed into my Mustang. Presley was already sitting in his car, the need for me to drive her redundant. “I’ll bring you back in the morning.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll drop it off at the apartment and meet you at Diablo. Then we can leave from there.” I tapped the roof of my car, watching as he nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, good plan. Okay, I’ll wait for you inside. It will give me a chance to tell Bennett what Shapiro saw, keep him in the loop too.”
With Tibbs happy with the plan, he hopped into his car and backed out of the driveway. I said another quick goodbye to my parents—the rest of my family still inside—and did the same in my car.
It ate at me the whole drive back to Manhattan, wondering if what we’d done had made her feel cheap. Sure as shit hadn’t been classy, even if she’d been the only person who’d come in that bedroom other than me.
I hadn’t done the sneaking girls into my room when I was growing up. Two older sisters who had better hearing than an FBI wiretap was the first problem. Followed closely by religious icons at every turn, neither of those really conducive to getting busy with a girl. So the first time I’d ever taken a girl home had been when I’d been paying my own rent. Meant I didn’t have to worry about St. Peter giving me the evil eye or my Ma getting a briefing from Deanna or Sarah.
But she didn’t know that, maybe assuming it was something I’d done in the past. Or worse, that she’d somehow felt disrespected in some way.
Yes, she asked me to touch her.
Hell, she begged me to fuck her too.
But saying shit when you’re about to explode and making rational decisions with a clear head are two very different things.