Eventually, I get up and eat a candy bar for breakfast.
It’s not a great choice but I chase it with an energy drink and suddenly I’m ready to get to work on… fuck, something. Anything. Any part of this house that I can get to without needing an extra set of hands.
I start caulking up all of the cracks in the walls and ceiling.
Raising my arms above my head does start to feel like I’m going to fucking die but it doesn’t take too long to get every room done. One of the many advantages of such a tiny house.
While I wait for that to set I run to the store and grab paint. This place needs some fucking love. I’m living here, on my own, until I die. There’s nowhere else I ever want to be now that I’ve found friends and a little house of my own, so I need it to look exactly how I want it to. Even if that means painting everything myself.
I want it all white.
I want it to look bright and clean. I want it to look as though I know what the hell I’m doing, eighteen and owning something like this. It’s only a one bedroom, one bath little place, nothing to write home about, but fuck. I’m so goddamn proud of it, so proud that I have a tiny house on a street that isn’t the worst in town, and I fucking own it.
I need a fence.
Someday, I’m going to get a dog to keep me company. I’m going to plant a vegetable garden, maybe put in some fruit trees, and I’ll plant flowers everywhere. I’m going to get a real job at an accounting firm in the next town over and I’ll live a fucking life.
I just need to paint the walls first.
I keep myself so fucking busy that I don’t think about Tomi at all. Okay, that’s a lie. I think about him a lot without actually trying. The confrontation at the grocery store was fucking weird and the fact that both him and Rue were just heading past and saw me.
I’m grateful as hell they were there though. No way was I getting the couch in by myself. It’s a big one, it takes up most of the living room and there’s a section that folds out into a bed. I knew I had to pick between a couch or a bed because I could only fit one in the Chevy and with Poe declaring she’d be here every day after school I needed somewhere for her to sit.
So I manage to get a layer of paint on the walls in the living room before she knocks on my door. I’m too busy trying to figure out how the fuck I’m going to paint the ceiling to realize she’s not alone when I open the door.
I come face to face with Trink.
Oh God.
I must look shocked and maybe a little horrified standing there in my paint splattered shirt and jean shorts older than I am, thrifted from some shitty flea market a few states over.
Poe nudges Trink and Tomi’s sister huffs just like he does. “Quit it, Graves, I’m getting there.”
She clears her throat and sort of rolls her shoulders back and I’m a little shocked at what comes out of her mouth. “Angel, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I treated you like shit without ever trying to get to know you first. I’m so used to strippers being around my family and using me to fuck my brother that I just… I made a shitty assumption. That’s on me and nothing to do with you, I should’ve listened to Poe and not been a fucking asshole to you.”
I look at Poe but her eyes are clear and open, she’s ready to accept whatever decision I come to. I guess I can give this girl a chance. I mean… I think maybe things with Tomi might sort themselves out? God, I don’t want to get my fucking hopes up again.
I step out of my doorframe and usher them in. “I don’t have much furniture yet and there’s no TV, sorry.”
Trink shrugs and stalks in without any reservation. Poe grins at me and slings an arm around my shoulders. “Like we give a shit about chairs. I brought beer and we can order pizza. Let’s talk shit about dumbass boys and cars.”
I scoff and roll my eyes at her but, damn, it feels so good to have friends and Poe is the best one a girl like me could ever ask for.
Even if her brother is the Devil himself.
Jesus.
I’ve got to stop thinking about that shit.
Poe pulls some beers out of her bag and I don’t at all wanna question her on where she got them because her sources seem endless. Trink orders a pizza and I insist on paying for it even when they both fight me.
The first slice is like heaven. Cheesy, pepperoni goodness, nothing can beat the taste. Everything is perfect until Trink ruins it.
“So tell me about Tomi, he told Mom he’s bringing you to family dinner on Sunday.”
I startle and try not to freak the hell out. “What do you mean? What about him?”
Trink laughs and Poe nudges her even though she’s grinning like a loony. “He told me he was ‘struck. I know what that shit means so how do you feel about him?”
I squint a little at her. “What the hell does ‘struck mean?”
The smiles slide off of both of their faces. Trink recovers first. “You don’t know? That asshole didn’t tell you?”
I shake my head, fiddling with the label on the beer. I’m trying not to be upset that he’s been running his mouth about me, especially with his sister. I didn’t know they were that close. Shit, I didn’t know he did Sunday dinners at his parents’ place either. They’re closer than I would have ever thought. Jesus, no wonder Trink hated me. I’m the slut stripper who sucked her brother off in The Boulevard office.
“The Callaghan men are cursed,” Trink whispers and Poe snorts at her.
“Blessed. Keely says they’re blessed but sometimes blessings go… wrong.”
I blush. Are they talking about dick sizes right now? Because that’s just too fucking weird.
“They’re ‘struck by the hand of God, Pops says. They meet the woman of their dreams and they feel it like a bolt of lightning through their chests, and they know they belong to that woman.”
I place the bottle down slowly onto the floor before I spill that shit everywhere with the shaking of my damn hand.
Trink goes on. “Hawk was lovestruck. Met Keely, knocked her up, happily ever after and all that. King and Hell were both cuntstruck. The women they felt that bolt of lightning for were terrible, gave ‘em nothing but their boys and years of chaos to clean up.”
Poe leans forward, her eyes all dreamy looking. “Someday, I’m fucking praying Rue feels that for me. I just need to grow up enough for him to see me as a woman and not a fucking kid.”
I force a little smile on my face for her but my chest feels like it’s been carved out, my heart and everything else just fucking scooped out until I’m an empty cavern.
“Tomi told Keely the other day that you ‘struck him. He’s been trying to figure out what the fuck to do ever since.”
Christ.
That’s why he hated me so much.
I’m the fuck up, the failure, the fucking stripper he’s been cursed to want even though he’d rather anyone else but me. Oh my fucking God, this is worse than I thought.
Poe’s eyes soften. “Angel, you’re not a cunt. There’s no way this’ll be a bad thing. You’re one of the kindest, strongest, most loyal people I’ve ever met.”
I smile at her and I’m so freaking grateful for the empty feeling inside me because it means I don’t have to fight tears over knowing just how I’ve ruined Tomi’s life. Fuck.