I could scream. There has been no contact with either Shellie or myself in the intervening years and that’s typical of Jake. He’s a manipulator and Mum is a pushover. I take a huge breath to calm myself down and am relieved at how evenly my voice sounds.
‘If you don’t ring Shellie and tell her, then I will, Mum. As for talking to Jake, well, tell him when he’s ready he knows where to find me. I love you so much for wanting to dip into your savings, but I know what I’m doing. This is business and there are ways and means of raising funds. I’m happy to risk what’s mine, but I’m not happy to risk your legacy and please don’t take that the wrong way.
‘Now put down the phone and call Shellie, because she’s imagining all sorts of things, but it doesn’t include the possibility of Jake coming back to the UK. But please, before it’s too late, just stop and think about what it means to let go of the house. So many memories; so much of the past wrapped up within those walls. If it truly is the right decision for you, then I’m happy, but I don’t want you to have any regrets, Mum, that’s all.’
There’s a moment of silence and I wonder whether my honesty has made her stop and think.
‘My mind is made up, honey. Sometimes there are too many memories here for me to handle. Besides, I’m looking forward to a new challenge.’
My heart sinks in my chest.
Afterwards I’m wracked with guilt, as what I noted in her voice was a level of enthusiasm I haven’t heard in a long while. I appreciate that Mum would do anything not to upset any one of us, but she should have opened up about this and not kept it to herself until the last minute. Was I guilty of being so consumed by my own problems that she didn’t feel she could talk to me? And Shellie obviously has so much going on at the moment. Did we leave Mum feeling out on a limb, with no one to talk to, and unwittingly pave the way for Jake to swoop in and take advantage of her?
Hand on heart, I can’t say an influx of cash wouldn’t be highly convenient at this moment in time, but no business venture is a sure bet. Elliot and I are putting in what we can afford to lose; if we don’t sell the series then we’ve blown our savings, but we won’t lose everything. I wouldn’t risk a penny of Mum’s money, even if she is buying into this totally absurd idea of Jake’s. If it doesn’t work out, then I want her to be in a position to have options.
My fingers dial quickly.
‘Shellie, Mum’s going to ring you any minute with news. Jake returned to the UK a while ago, it seems.’ There’s a weird sort of screech. ‘Pretend you don’t know. She’s going to sell the house and move in with him to become some sort of housekeeper, by the sound of it. Just listen and don’t go off on one, because that won’t help. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow. I’m putting down the phone as you can expect that call at any moment. Hopefully it’s not too late for us to talk some sense into her, but we need to tread carefully.’
I can imagine Shellie sitting there, phone pressed against her ear and her face draining of all colour. You messed everything up once, Jake. I’m not going to sit back and let you do it again.
It’s just after eleven p.m. when Shellie calls me back. I’ve been sitting here in the semi-darkness, trying to focus on the last couple of chapters of Ronan’s book to distract me.
‘I’m speechless,’ she groans.
‘You haven’t been on the phone the entire time?’ I quiz.
‘Yes, I have.’ She sniffs.
‘Are you crying?’
More muffled sniffs and some nose-blowing.
‘How can Mum have sold the house without telling us? I can still visualise Dad in every single room and now strangers are going to be moving in. Jake clearly is a cold-hearted bastard to have talked her into this without consulting us.’
I’ve been mulling it over, off and on for the last two-plus hours. Mum won’t have taken this decision lightly. There are things going on with her and it’s clear that both Shellie and I haven’t been paying attention. We each have excuses we can make, but when it comes to it that’s all they are – excuses. Mum’s well-being comes first and she never makes a big deal of anything, so we have to be on our toes and it’s more about what she doesn’t say than the words she uses.
‘Look, Shellie. Mum told me there are times when she feels redundant. Mum, redundant! She’s not one to throw herself into hobbies, is she? As much as I dislike the idea of her appearing to be almost like an employee of Jake’s, maybe something is missing from her life.’
‘So, what do you suggest we do?’
Oh, this is so hard, given the distance between us all at the moment. ‘Look, I can’t get back, even for a quick visit. Why don’t you pop round to Mum’s for a chat over a cup of tea? My biggest fear is what happens if Jake meets someone and they don’t want his mother running his household? Then she really would be redundant, in the worst possible way. Without actually saying that, could you get her to talk through the bigger plan? If she doesn’t mention future changes in Jake’s life – personal, or business-related – then maybe ask if this is a long-term thing. In the excitement of imagining us all as one big happy family again, she might not have thought this through properly.’
The sniffing has stopped.
‘Brilliant idea! I’ll drop round with Maisie tomorrow after school. Maisie will want to invite Lizzie from next door in to play and that will give me the perfect opportunity to have a leisurely chat with Mum.’
‘Try to keep calm about this, Shellie. We might have to accept that there’s nothing we can do because the decision is Mum’s, after all. But we need to be sure that she’s aware that there are no guarantees we’ll ever bond again as siblings and that there’s an element of risk in her walking away from the life she has now. I mean, what if she comes to regret selling the house? She won’t be able to buy it back again and that’s the harsh reality.’
We sigh in tandem. ‘I promise to be gentle with her and not to let my anger at Jake spill over. I’ll let you know how it goes, but it might not be until the day after tomorrow. Drew and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night with some friends, so it will be rather hectic. Sleep well, sis. I’ve got this, don’t you worry.’
How can I possibly sleep after that? Well, the truth is that I can’t, so I try to empty my mind and continue reading Ronan’s book.
Maurice Perrin was, it seems, amongst the most influential of chief gardeners at Versailles by the time he retired in 1986. Having a quick leaf through the second book in the series, I see Ronan makes a brief reference to the dreadful storms of 1990 and 1999, and the ensuing devastation that will be covered in the final book, apparently.
Maurice had dismissed the idea that delaying a massive replanting programme could potentially result in a complete change in the landscape of the park, as far back as the early sixties. But he did support a project looking in detail at the pattern of tree loss going back to the forties. Immediately I saw that, it grabbed my attention. A project about the trees – could Grandma have been a part of that?
Obviously, one could say that storms of the magnitude of the two in the twentieth century are an act of nature. If the park had been on the edge of either of those storms it could so easily have been a very different story. But the fact that so many trees were at risk and succumbed had been predicted.