Kat snicker-snorted. “I’ve been called a lot of things, mostly by my brother, but never has anyone called me dangerous. You could snap my neck with one hand and I couldn’t do anything to stop you. I’m not the dangerous one here.”
Dykan leaned forward and stroked his thumb over her cheek. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. For a moment he gazed at her in silence, then he leaned back in his chair.
“Okay, my crew. You’ve met Selvin, my second-in-command, and Boda, our ‘muscle’ in the corridor, and Loanod was the one who brought you food. That leaves Sly and Kadaen.”
“Will I meet them too?” Kat asked.
Dykan shrugged. “Maybe you’ll meet Sly. He’s our navigator and tech specialist. Kadaen is the medic. He prefers to stay in the medbay. He even sleeps there. So unless you fall ill, you probably won’t see him.”
“Did you all know each other before you…um…started working together?”
“Yes. We met a long time ago in a dodgy tavern on Makaen-Prime. Back then, I was drunk most of the time and also pretty cocky and I had gotten myself into a fight with half a dozen recruits from the military academy. I can’t even remember what I said to piss them off. Lucky for me, Selvin saw the recruits pounding on me and he, Boda, Sly and Kadaen came to my rescue. They were military academy dropouts and because of that they had a dislike for recruits. I don’t know if they would have helped me otherwise, but we won. And we became friends for life. So, yes, we were already good friends on Makaen-Prime. Except for Loanod. He’s Boda’s much younger brother. When we left the planet, Loanod begged us to take him with us. Boda had been more of a father to Loanod then their actual sire had been, and Boda was reluctant to leave his brother behind, so we decided to take him along.”
“How do your families feel about you being in this line of business?” Kat asked before she put another spoonful of broth into her mouth.
“I don’t want to talk about my family,” Dykan replied in a harsh tone.
Kat ignored his words. “I’m only asking because I understood that within Makaen society, being honorable is the standard to live by for men, and this isn’t quite an honorable job. So, I assume your families don’t approve—disapprove, even. It must be hard on them, too. The shame—”
Dykan stood up so quickly his chair fell backwards to the floor with a bang. “I said I don’t want to talk about my family,” he snarled, flashing his canines and clenching his fists.
Startled, Kat jumped out of her chair and scooted away from him, instinctively getting out of his reach. He didn’t move, though. He just stood there.
Okay, so Dykan’s family was rather a sensitive subject, she realized. Kat could only assume that they weren’t happy about his career choice. And even though he acted as if he couldn’t care less about what others might think of him, this was something that clearly affected him. His family was his weakness, and not talking about them was his way of dealing with it. Kat made a mental note: it was best if she never pushed that button again.
They stared at each other for what seemed forever. Then Dykan took in a deep breath and picked up his chair from the floor.
“Sit and finish your food,” he ordered, sitting down himself.
Cautiously, Kat stepped forward. She didn’t believe he would consciously hurt her, but she had never seen him react in such a primitive manner before. There was no telling what he would do when he was pushed to the edge and his animalistic brain took over. That was what he basically was: an animal. Like all Makaen. That was why she should never fully trust him, Kat reminded herself.
Noticing her discomfort, Dykan blew out air and rubbed his hands over his face.
“I’m calm. I didn’t want to scare you, I’m sorry. Please sit.”
“No, it…it was my fault,” Kat murmured apologetically. “You told me not to talk about your family. Sometimes I tend to push too far.” Kat sat down and continued eating, her focus solely on the bowl on the table, like it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. She felt Dykan watch her every move, but she didn’t even dare to give him a sidelong glance, let alone look him straight in the eyes. She was still too rattled. Staring at the bowl was safe.
“I have two younger brothers,” Dykan said after a while, breaking the silence. “I assume that they, and my father, aren’t too pleased about me leaving Makaen-Prime and choosing this life. But I didn’t tell them I was leaving. I just went away, so I really don’t know what their opinions are.”
Kat stopped eating but still didn’t look at him. Quite frankly, she didn’t know how to react to Dykan opening up all of a sudden. She thought it was best to let him do the talking for now.
“I didn’t have a good relationship with my father and brothers. Once we did, but everything changed when my mother died. In my quarters, you asked me when I stopped caring. Well, it was that fucking day. The day I was told that my mother, the most important person in my life, wasn’t coming home. Then I realized it was best never to care for anyone or anything that strongly ever again.”
Dykan stopped talking. Kat felt that there was more to the story than Dykan was telling her—a lot more—but that didn’t matter. He had disclosed a part of him he had kept hidden, the vulnerable part of him. Losing his mother must have hurt like hell. Lucas had told her about what had happened to his parents, how losing them had almost broken him and how, even after so many years, he still felt the pain. This Makaen was obviously hurting, too, but unlike Lucas, he didn’t talk about his emotions. So choosing not to care anymore had been a defense mechanism for Dykan to cope with the grief, and it had made him into the man he was now. Yes, he was a dickhead and he did terrible things, but at least Kat understood now that Dykan wasn’t rotten to the core. He had been dealt a bad hand and was suffering inside.
Her heart cried for him. The only thing she wanted to do right now was to comfort him. To let him know that, even though he didn’t care for her, she was there for him. In one move, Kat slid off her chair and onto Dykan’s lap. He wrapped his arms around her instantly, holding her tight as if he never wanted to let her go. Cradled in his arms, she kissed him, softly but oh so intensely.
“Are you finished eating? If so, I’d like to eat myself.”
Kat broke the kiss and flung her head to the doorway. Selvin was standing there with a boyish grin on his face.
“Are you finished eating?” Dykan asked her hoarsely.
Kat looked back at him and nodded.
“Are you sure you’ve had enough? I’m planning to take you to my quarters and continue with what we’ve been doing. And do so much more. If it’s up to me, you won’t get another chance to eat until we arrive at Cassidiri. Can you feel how much I want you?”
A bright red blush spread across her face, and Kat dropped her head onto Dykan’s shoulder out of embarrassment.
“I’m good.” Her words were muffled by Dykan’s shirt.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed around me, human,” Selvin put forward, “you are not the first female on this ship to screw our captain. As a matter of fact, his bed is rarely cold. And it’s a small vessel. We see and hear a lot.”