“Thank you, for everything. I’ll never be able to repay you for this.”
“Just live. Be happy. That’s payment enough for me.”
“I love you, you know that, right?”
“I friggin’ love you back, Gia.” She winked as I headed out the door.
When I slammed through the front door, Archie greeted me with questioning eyes. No doubt he had heard me coming from miles away. “I’m fine,” I said as I dropped the grocery bag on the counter and removed my coat. “Miller.”
Archie sniffed me, snarled in solidarity, then plodded over to the sofa. In moments, I’d finished putting away my groceries, resigned to forget about that asshole and hunker down for God only knew how long as the storm rolled in.
The rest of the day passed with little to hold my attention, except the snow. Around dusk, I ate some leftover stew to fill my belly, and watched the trees shake. The wind had kicked up so much that I could feel the vibrations through my floorboards. I spent the evening in front of my television drinking whiskey. Sleep during this time of year did not come easy, so a liquid push sometimes did the trick. Praying it would help me doze off, I flipped through Netflix and settled on some reruns of Parks and Recreation.
Archie nudged me from my daze, and by the looks of my TV screen, I’d slept through several episodes. It took me another moment to realize my pup kept glancing between me and my cell phone vibrating across the coffee table.
My heart raced. Only life-altering news came at late hours of the night in my world.
Was it my sister? My niece?
Mom? Dad?
All the worst-case scenarios ran through my head. They were getting up there in age. And accidents happened to kids all the time.
Grabbing the phone, I checked the display. FaceTime call from Tyler it read as my sister’s image flashed on screen. I chuckled softly. Sis always hated her name. But Mom was told to expect two boys and got used to our names way before baby number one surprised everyone. Thus, it stuck. Ever since Mom told us the story, I loved to joke that my cock must have been so big that they thought there were two boys. And every time I did, Tyler would groan out, “ew, Tanner.”
I flipped out the small kickstand attached to my phone case and propped it on my coffee table, then took the call.
“A little late for you, isn’t it?” I asked her before she could even raise her hands to say hello. My sister lived in Texas, specifically Dallas. So, it was probably a little after eleven her time.
“I have a toddler. I only sleep when she does, and apparently she’s nocturnal.”
I laughed as my racing heart steadied. All was fine. “I could have been sleeping.”
“Knew you were up,” she added with a dismissive flair.
“How?”
“Twin thing.” She shrugged. “You know.” Sis gave me a pointed look.
I chuckled again.
Yeah. The whole it’s a twin thing was true for us. We could always sense when something was going on with the other. Felt it in our bones. Didn’t matter how many miles separated us. If she was ill, I’d get nauseated. Tyler depressed? Me too. When she broke her arm in third grade, mine began to ache even though I was on the other side of town.
She’d been my best friend since birth, my partner in crime. And when sis went to public school and I went to Deaf school, I hated every minute we were apart. It didn’t matter that I finally had friends that spoke ASL and I was around my own community. I needed my sister more than I needed air to breathe.
When we moved from Trenton to Sussex for my dad’s job, I grabbed my chance. At nearly two hours away from my Deaf school, Mom either had to homeschool me, or let me go mainstream like Tyler. Naturally, I begged for mainstream. Mom pitched a fit, but eventually agreed as long as I stayed immersed in extracurricular activities and social events within the Deaf community. I gladly agreed, because at least sis and I would be together at school.
She was my ‘in’ to the hearing community, and always interpreted for me. Hell, I even followed her to college in the city when both of us got accepted into Columbia. Few classes together though, since Tyler went to med school while I was a business major.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, tucking her waves behind her ears. It was a little darker than mine. She’d colored it again. Sis always hated the ash-colored, or “dishwater blond” as she called it, hair passed down from our Irish ancestors. It never bothered me, but then again, I was a dude. She’d been dyeing hers since we were like thirteen.
“You tell me.”
“Can’t sleep. Drinking too much. Only leave the cabin for supply runs. Sound about right?”
I rubbed my tired eyes and nodded. When I looked back at the screen, my sister started moving her hands to speak again.
“I know you’re hurting, but at some point you need to live.” She sighed heavily. “You need to get out, make friends, meet people.”
During that first year at Columbia, my sister forced me to meet people too. She dragged me to a party with her and her roommate, Alexis, or Alex as I chose to call her. A lively, little thing with long, brown hair and big blue eyes. And she didn’t shun me for signing. My miracle. I fell hard and fast, but as much as I loved her, I hated the city. Too much noise. Too many vibrations kept me up at night. Too many people. The wilderness had always called to me. So, I stayed in the city long enough to finish my business degree, get my real estate license, and flip a few properties. Earned a nice little nest egg I used as collateral. Then my girl followed me to this small town so I could build my dream.
And now she was gone, and it was all my fault.
“I know.” I nodded. We sat, staring at one another.
Tyler blinked back the moisture in her eyes, and I wanted to slap myself. My wife had been one of her closest friends and I tended to forget she was hurting as well.
“Come to Texas,” she finally said.
“You still trying to hook me up with Brock’s younger sister?” I frowned. It was hard to forget that about a year after Alex disappeared, Tyler started flooding my phone with pictures of my brother-in-law’s very hot, very available younger sister. She was an ESE teacher who happened to know ASL, so perfect fit right? Wrong. Twin radar way off there, sis.
“Brandi’s engaged now. You missed your friggin’ shot, buddy.”
“Oh, darn,” I said with a sarcastic fake-pout to drive home just how many fucks I didn’t give.
“Seriously. Come visit.”
“Why in the hell would I want to go to Texas?” I smirked, toying with her. Born and bred on the East Coast, I always busted her chops for moving to the south. But she’d met Brock, a geologist major of all things, in college and marriage followed. So, when he landed a job in oil and gas they moved to Dallas.
My sister's face fell. “You haven’t even met Emma yet.”
“I’ve met her,” I protested.
My niece would be turning two very soon and I’d yet to hold her in my arms and lavish the affection on her that she deserved from her uncle. But I couldn’t. It was too hard. She was too much of a reminder of what could have been.
“FaceTime doesn’t count, and you know it.” My sister’s mouth twisted. “You didn’t even come for her surgery.” Her green eyes welled up with tears.