“Okay,” I breathe.
“You’re upset? Angry?” she asks.
Shaking my head slowly, my gaze flicks from hers to the baby, then back to meet hers again. “No. Surprised,” I say with a smile. “He’s beautiful.”
“Mountain knows, but he just wants to be an uncle, and I would have gone anyway he wanted with this. I would do anything for him, he’s one of the nicest men I’ve ever known. Loyal and kind, just plain good.”
Lifting my hand, I wrap my fingers around the front of my throat, smirking to myself. He’s good, alright. Shaking my head, I find her gaze with my own again. She’s watching me, a small smile on her lips.
“Eagle and Mountain are together on this run, if you need anything…” Her words hang, but she doesn’t finish her sentence, she doesn’t need to.
Pressing my lips together, I have a million questions, but I don’t ask any of them. I decide the person that I should ask is Wilder himself. However, I do ask her one burning question. I regret it the moment that I do, because the look of pity that crosses her face makes my stomach twist.
“Have you heard from them? Eagle and Mountain?”
“Today?” she asks.
“At all. Since they left?”
That’s when the pity appears. I notice it, I see it for what it is. She has heard from them, more than once, I assume. Her man loves her, loves his baby, he’s been checking in with her and checking up on them.
Mountain feels nothing except maybe a bit of ownership toward me. He’s not worried about me, I’m out of sight, therefore out of his mind. Something ugly curls in my belly at the thought of what he’s been doing. I splash my hand in the water, looking up at the bright sky.
He gave me rules, they’re pretty clear and within those, he has no rules for himself—that was pretty clear as well. Climbing out of the kiddie pool, I stand, straightening my back before I grab the phone from the bench.
“Don’t worry about it too much, Leighton. They get busy on these things, I’m sure he’s meant to call.”
Her words are cute, but they’re fueled with pity and I hate them. Turning away from her, I stand up, water dripping from me, I reach for the towel and dry off before I slip my wet feet into my flip-flops and walk away from the table and pool.
The phone burns my palm, begging to be looked at, begging for me to go through the contacts and find his burner number. He made a contact for himself, Wilder, just in case.
It’s in case time.
The phone rings a few times. The sun is setting, it’s almost completely down as I wait for him to answer. When he does, my heart drops. I should not be this emotionally invested in him. I should not be emotionally invested in anyone.
Not ever.
“Yeah?” he quips. I hear a woman in the background. She laughs, then calls out his name.
“I hadn’t heard from you, it’s been days,” I say softly, too afraid to speak loudly, too afraid that he’ll know he’s already hurt me.
There’s a moment of silence, I hold my breath, then he finally speaks. “Got caught up,” he grunts. “I’ll call you later.”
“No,” I grind out. “No.”
“Excuse me?” he asks.
Shaking my head, I pinch my eyes closed. “No, Wilder. Seriously?” I ask, my voice trembling. “You’re gone less than a week. Less than a week,” I stress.
“And?”
“Nothing,” I breathe.
I hear the woman call his name again, then she giggles in the background. I don’t listen for more. Instead, I end the call. Then, before I call him again, before I cry, I power the cell phone down completely. Without a second thought, I turn around and walk back into the building, heading straight to the bedroom to change, then onward toward the bar.
Fuck. Him.
MOUNTAIN
The girl curls up next to me. We’re enjoying a night by a bonfire. Beers in hand, women roaming, brothers enjoying themselves when my phone rings. I’ve been here for a few hours, just relaxing before we head out again on this run.
I’d forgotten just how long it takes to travel to and from New York. Usually, I’m excited as fuck because my favorite part of the trip is Gavino Santoro’s girls. This time, I’m not really planning on visiting them.
Lifting my hand, I run my fingers through my hair as I think about the conversation that I’ve just had with Leighton. I’ve pulled away. I know that I have. I’ve put her on the back burner and I’m trying to figure out how to balance her.
I haven’t been calling her. I know that I’ve gone dark. I’m just trying to organize everything in my own head. Eagle isn’t helping anything. He keeps talking about Santiago, keeps trying to involve me in the conversations and I don’t want any part of it.
“Something is up with you,” Eagle grunts as he walks up next to me.
Taking another pull of my beer, I close my eyes for a moment. The bitch at my other side still hasn’t come to terms with the fact that I don’t want her. She keeps whining, calling out my name, and trying to get my goddamn attention. For now, I’ve allowed her to hang on to me, to touch me, to rub her tits against my side, but I’m starting to lose my patience.
“Nope,” I snap.
He grunts and shakes his head. “Admit you like this girl and that you’re struggling with little Santiago.”
Pressing my lips together, I shake my head. The bitch next to me calls my name again, and I lose my shit completely. Instead of pushing her away, I grab her hair, fisting it as I drag her in front of me. Pushing her down, I dip my chin as I watch her.
“Suck,” I growl.
“Mountain,” Eagle warns.
Shaking my head, I look over at Eagle. “I’m not struggling with shit,” I bark. “I’m just fucking me.”
“Whatever you want to tell yourself,” he murmurs.
He doesn’t stay to watch as the bitch on her knees sucks me until I come down her throat. She swallows every fucking drop and when she’s finished, I feel like a piece of shit. I hadn’t planned on touching anyone else.
I only want Leighton. Yet, here I fucking am, my cock wet from this whore’s saliva. Zipping up my jeans, I take a step back.
“Hey,” the girl calls out.
Dipping my chin, I look down at her. She has her head tilted back, her eyes are wide and then she narrows them slightly. “Tit for tat, what about me?”
I laugh, it’s sharp and ugly. She lets out her breath in a puff as she stands up straight. “You’re an asshole. Whoever she is, she doesn’t deserve you.”
“She doesn’t,” I agree.
Turning away from her, I make my way toward my room for the night, lifting my phone to my ear after I touch the contact to call her. It doesn’t even ring. It goes straight to voicemail and I frown. I don’t even make it to my room, instead, I’m standing next to the doorway.
I find another name in my phone. “Where is she?” I demand.
“Nice greeting,” Coyote grumbles.
“She turned the phone off, where is she?”
There is a moment of silence, then he lets out a sigh. “I haven’t seen her tonight. Saw her today, earlier. She was outside, lounging in her bikini, in a fucking kiddie pool talking to Della.”