“Remember what I promised,” she says with bloodshot eyes. “Your family will never be safe.”
I don’t expect what comes next.
Her tightly pulled eyes are clouded with smoke and crazed revenge. She doesn’t care that this may literally be her last breath. She shoots me at close range and right in my gut, smiling the entire time she pulls the trigger.
This is her avenging and protecting her son because that’s what family does. And as I feel myself slipping out of consciousness, I vow to myself that I will not die on this cold-ass floor for the same reason.
Before today, I lived my life like death was never a possibility. I was so preoccupied with being right that I lost sight of what truly mattered. Elizabeth and Knox are my entire universe, and I will ruthlessly fight to protect my moon and star.
That is my one job.
To fight for them.
That’s why I refuse to die today.
If only I could keep my goddamn eyes open.
17
ELIZABETH
During the first fifteen minutes of being in the president of Cabot University’s office, I can tell that the man is seriously considering whether or not I’ve been a victim of domestic violence because of how our last call ended. To be fair, I am being rather quiet and tentative but not for the reasons he is thinking.
My emotions are a brew of anger and anxiety. Roman decided to spend the majority of the night out without as much as a text to let me know what his plans were or to check in on his son. I’m not surprised. He’s been spending more time at the club or at Joseph’s or wherever the hell else he goes, which is why I’ve made the executive decision to take my trip to Cabot.
So far this visit has been full of surface pleasantries, tea service and a tour of the university but I can tell that Jacob’s eyes are filled with pity. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants to check me for bruises and refer me to a good therapist, but gratefully he keeps our conversation light and totally on topic so I roll with it.
“Cabot is a gorgeous campus and it’s so great that they have online access to a lot of Penn’s courses,” I admire.
“Yes, our students are getting an Ivy League education at a fraction of the cost.”
“I love that.”
“But even that cost is a burden for many students, which is where your app comes in.”
“Exactly,” I add. “College should be affordable for everyone who wants to attend.”
We walk up a wooded trail behind one of the field hockey fields. I didn’t realize just how out of shape I’ve become. I guess sitting at a computer all day is the new bacon. Jacob doesn’t acknowledge the embarrassing fact that I’ve become winded, but he conveniently stops and points out a few of the buildings on campus to give me a chance to catch my breath.
“And this is Berger Hall. It’s the student activity center and main dining hall.”
“Burger hall?” I chuckle. “That’s cute.”
“Berger with an E, not a U.” Jacob smiles. “Mr. Ronald Berger donated five million dollars to the university upon his death. Part of the land the university sits on was donated by his family in the 1940s.”
“Wow.” I feel a little embarrassed that I didn’t do my homework and know that already.
My cell phone dings with a missed call from my friend Patricia. She called me yesterday as well, but I truly feel that Roman and I did all we could do for her. At this point, all she could want is more money, which is a favor I’m not doing a second time.
I place my phone’s ringer on silent and slide it inside my purse as we start walking again. I ask Jacob something that’s been on my mind since I arrived.
“If you were to do things all over again, Jacob, would you have attended an Ivy League college?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Just taking this tour makes me realize how many wonderful universities there are that students don’t have a clue about. This seems like a place I would have really enjoyed.”
“I’m not going to lie, at seventeen I would have chosen an Ivy League again because I thought that was important to say on résumés and in interviews; but if I were my age now, inside of that seventeen-year-old body, I would definitely have attended somewhere like Cabot. Ultimately, it only matters that you get the degree and a decent education not where it’s from.”
“That’s easy for us to say though, huh?” I smile.
“True, but that’s what I honestly believe. That’s why I accepted this position. I hope to be a part of making Cabot a lot of students’ first choice school.”
I look at Jacob’s left hand and notice there’s a platinum wedding band on it. I consider how my life may have looked differently if I had ended up with a man like him, someone who understands my background and my mission because he grew up similarly and wants the same things. Maybe Roman and I are too different. Perhaps that will always be our problem.
Roman barely said a word when Juliette, Knox and I left in the morning for the train station. He had the driver put our bags in the car as he watched us silently from his chaise. He said his goodbyes to Knox the night before after watching an episode of Sesame Street and playing with some food based finger-paints, but the two of us were barely speaking.
It took only a few moments of silence on our ride to the train station for my chest to tighten with sorrow and for Juliette to finally address it.
“It breaks my heart the way you two just parted from each other.”
Knox’s head tipped to the side and his eyes closed. Being in motion knocked him right out.
“He basically ordered me not to go as if he has any power over what I do or don’t do.”
“And you’re going, anyway?”
“Are you listening to yourself, Aunt Juliette? Yes, I’m going. This is business.”
“Roman isn’t the type of man to stop you from growing. He isn’t that petty.”
“Yet that’s exactly what he’s doing. I’m thinking—”
“What are you thinking, sweetie?”
I looked over at Knox and was afraid to say the words out loud. I didn’t want to put them in the air. I didn’t want the universe to think for even a second that, that’s what I wanted, but I said it anyway.
“That we are not a good match for each other anymore. That we made a mistake.”
“Nonsense.” She slapped the top of her thigh for emphasis.
“You saw him back there. Six months ago he would have never let me leave without holding me and saying he loves me.”
“And how about you? I didn’t see you say goodbye either.”
I said nothing in response because everything she said was accurate. I was being just as stubborn as Roman, but that’s because I’m right.
“Just don’t let too much time go by without rectifying this, Bitsy. You can never get back time lost. Trust me, I know.”
Once Jacob and I arrive back to the main administration building, we head to his office where there’s a small spread waiting for us that includes a variety of deli sandwiches and chips. There’s still a rather enormous elephant in the room that I decide I should squash now. I’m not sure exactly how much Jacob heard, but I know that I probably need to say something or this entire meeting is going to be excruciatingly long.