“You coming here for dinner.”
“I guess you will never get the hang of this father thing, will you? This is my childhood home. I’m supposed to come home and visit.”
“Not without my grandson with you.”
“Elizabeth took him to a mommy and me swim class tonight.”
“Then you should have come by here another night.”
“I see how you are now.” I take a swallow of my juice and bitterly wash down my last bite. “All you care about is Knox.”
“What do you want me to say? So glad you’re home, Roman. Please eat all of my dinner and while you’re at it stay the night in your old room upstairs and I’ll read you a bedtime story?”
“Listen, old man, this is still my house too, and if Juliette invites me to come by and have a meal, I’m coming. It’s obvious that she desires a little more normal human interaction than she gets around here. It’s called having a conversation. You should try it sometime.”
“Stop whining.”
Joseph pours himself a lowball of whiskey and sits across from me at the table.
“Uh, no thank you. I don’t want a drink.”
“I didn’t offer because it’s clear you’ve already had a few.”
He’s right.
I stopped by a local bar for a drink before I came here.
“Why haven’t you gotten your house in order yet?” he asks me point blank.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I take another angry bite of my food.
“You’re not fooling anyone. You’re not here for the pot pie or the chitchat. You’re here because being a new father is a hundred times harder than you ever could’ve imagined. You’re here because you can’t even convince the mother of your child to slow down and marry you. Face it, you’re here because you don’t want to go home.”
“I’m here for dinner. That’s it.”
“You think I don’t know you’ve been out for a drink tonight and the last three nights this week? You’re wallowing in your own misery, and for what? You have the most beautiful life a man could ask for.”
Joseph is seriously pissing me off. My relationship is none of his business. I take another forkful of food and purposely chew it slowly as we eyeball each other.
“I guess coming here was a mistake.”
“Have I ever given you poor advice?”
“You think telling me I’m being a pest and pitiful is good fatherly advice?”
“It’s best to keep people, even Juliette, out of your relationship. You already know what you need to do to make things right. Just be man enough to go home, stay home, and get it done.”
“As usual, old man, thanks for nothing. This little talk has been super-duper, not helpful, and you’ve ruined my appetite.”
I place the fork down on the table and suck my teeth.
“Since I’m your father, I feel obligated to give you at least one more piece of advice whether or not you want to hear it.”
“You’re shitting me, right? Your advice sucks.”
“I’m a happily married man, so I think there are a few words of wisdom you could accept from me if you were smart enough to listen.”
“My relationship is different than yours. It includes taking care of a new baby and a workaholic fiancée. Two things that you know nothing about.”
“You may not have been a baby when I brought you to live with me but I raised you up all the same, and I didn’t work my ass off half of my life for you to sit in my house and complain about your girlfriend with Juliette.”
“She’s my fiancée,” I correct his miserable ass.
“I can understand that it scared the hell out of you when Elizabeth got hurt last year, but sometimes you have to give people the space they need to love them properly.”
“You think I’m smothering her?”
“I think you need to get back to doing what you do best and that’s work.”
“You think I’m following her around the house all damn day? I do work, Joseph.”
“You take calls, you advise, you consult, but you aren’t out in the trenches working the fixes yourself anymore. You’re at home, hovering. You need to leave the house and not when you’re angry to go have a drink, but when you have a purpose.”
“That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard. I have two people that need me at home. That’s where I should be.”
“And how is that working for you?” Joseph snickers. “You may not be my flesh and blood, Roman, but that will never matter because you and I are similar in all the ways that matter. I’m telling you that for many years, work is what fueled me, but loving Juliette is what calmed me. There is a difference between the two and you need both. You need to keep busy and stay productive or you’re going to be a miserable son of a bitch to live with. You probably already are. If you suffocate Elizabeth with all of your restlessness, you’ll never get her down that aisle. I promise you that.”
“Who says I can’t get her down the aisle?”
I take one last bite of my delicious free dinner, a sip of my drink, then I stand to leave.
Joseph simply stares at me with an infuriatingly smug look on his face. He calls me on my shit all the time and I can’t stand it. Why do I keep coming here?
“Thanks for dinner!” I call upstairs to Juliette. “I’ll see you on Thursday at five.”
“Oh okay, hun. You’re leaving already?” she asks in response.
“Yep,” I reply, as I give Joseph a displeased look. “I’ve evidently got some thinking to do.”
6
ELIZABETH
I’ve been sitting at my desk for most of the day working on my presentation for Cabot University when I realize that in the last three hours, I’ve only created one additional PowerPoint slide and have about fifteen more to go. My contact lenses have practically dried out from staring at the computer screen for so long. I decide the best course of action at this point is to take a much-needed break, especially after my stomach growls.
When was the last time I ate something?
I’m completely unfocused.
All I can think about is how tough things have been between me and Roman lately and sometimes I wonder if perhaps we both moved too fast too soon. Our chemistry burned hot and fast, our courtship was a whirlwind, and our engagement came soon after a lot of drama in our lives. Should we have slowed down and dated longer? If we did, would we even still be together? Would we have Knox?
There are reasons why some women tell you to wait to have children. Now I understand why. Roman and I weren’t together long enough or alone as a couple long enough. There was still more of “us” that we had yet to explore before we became this family of three.
I’m unsure if he feels smothered or stuck with me, but what I do know is that he’s been coming home late the last few nights and I don’t know where he’s been or who he’s been with. A part of me knows that he would never cheat on me, but a part of me wonders what he is seeking elsewhere that he cannot seem to find at home with me and Knox.